The Secret

August 23, 2009
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He passed her in the hall. Her, in her tiny skirt, her sweet smile, her bright eyes. Just passed her, as if she didn’t exist. He walked 2 inches next to her, so close she could feel his heat upon her, and he just looked the other way and busied himself talking to someone else. When she stood up in front of the class, she made eye contact with everyone; she was good at that—uninhibited, unintimidated, undaunted. But he wouldn’t even look up, just kept scribbling something on his paper. She wondered if he was hearing her, if he could possibly respect her for her intellect. Maybe he would be impressed. All this was wishful thinking, of course. Their relationship was nothing for the sort, it didn’t involved respect. That would have ruined their “arrangement”. And if that was ruined, then the delicate balance of benign neglect and silent admiration would have been dissevered and thus the end of “them” would be brought.
And on she went on, like some sad little puppy, indebted to a master that never knew her pain. And she bore it, the burdens that drifted into her dreams, both those awake and those asleep. She wanted him to proud of her; to hold her hand, to hold her heart, to stand out and not be ashamed. But he was, and she could never change that. She couldn’t change the fact she brought out the worst in him, that she made him angry, and that her disposition changed his disposition bitter and cynical. That she seemed to crawl under skin and prick every last nerve and he ranted and screamed, hurt her. He didn’t trust her with his secrets even when she was the secret.
It was hard to pick: to be nothing, or to be nothing worthwhile. A rock and a hard place. The better of two evils. On the nights she slept alone, she could hear her heart cracking at the thought of him. On the nights she lay with him, she still wondered if he could her heart cracking. But he never noticed that her eyes glistened a bit with unborn tears, or the ways her hands shook when he touched his face. And every time, she left unsatisfied, and perhaps even a bit more empty than she came.
She cherished her poetry, and above all her poetry for him. She cherished her pictures, and above all her pictures for him. However, above the poetry and the pictures, she cherished her love for him, but he disregarded with a certain brutality that bit into her soul and occupied her constantly. And as he saw that love, he took it and ripped it to tiny shreds and took her body and violated everything ethereal about her.

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This article has 36 comments. Post your own now!

lauraea23 said...
Apr. 2, 2010 at 6:41 pm
wow great job. you can tell that the main character is feeling a lot of pain, anger, and love all at the same time. this is great.
Softballsmarty said...
Mar. 20, 2010 at 6:04 pm
I know how this goes. lol Great job!
duchesskrissy22 said...
Mar. 20, 2010 at 1:23 am
wow!! excellent article:)
Johaa said...
Mar. 4, 2010 at 3:03 pm
love your writing style! Amazing story too! i just don't get what they are to each other, i mean he sleeps with her but doesn't even look at her in the hall?
SilverLuna said...
Feb. 26, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Wow, this is so good. The character's perspective is really realistic on some base levels. I could really understand her emotions by the way to used metaphors with them. Great Job!(:
SilverRush3336 said...
Feb. 4, 2010 at 7:03 pm
that was amazing. I felt the character's pain as if it were my own. That brought tears to my eyes. Excellent job! Continue writing, definitely.
earthmuffin This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 7:54 pm
beautyispower said...
Dec. 30, 2009 at 7:31 pm
As I read it I felt like I ripping with her..liki,like it was,me, I felt it. It made me feel sad almost to the point were I almost cried. Excellence.
kimber said...
Nov. 27, 2009 at 12:29 am
wow.. i could feel every ounce of pain seething through your characters.
you are brilliant
freedomfighter01 said...
Nov. 8, 2009 at 1:12 pm
wow! that was amazing.
romance_lover This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 23, 2009 at 5:02 pm
absolutely should be proud :D
choirchic said...
Sept. 17, 2009 at 11:21 pm
i loved the story so much. it mad me feel the pain she was going through. i especially loved it
Nairobi A. said...
Sept. 13, 2009 at 8:21 pm
that was excellent. It made me sad, it
was fantastic.
inyourhead replied...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 7:58 pm
I agree!
unearthlyhaphazard said...
Aug. 30, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Wow. This was really excellent. I love the style of writing!
<3::wish4wings::<3 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 27, 2009 at 9:09 pm
soo good! i love it!!
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