Cant get better than this....

August 22, 2009
By romance_lover GOLD, Edmonton, Other
romance_lover GOLD, Edmonton, Other
12 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Nothing better than this...The lights, The rides, the constant rush of the people surrounding us...the guy.Everything was perfect. We walked, Hand in hand, my eyes skippign from ride to ride.
" Oh we have to go on this!" he screeched as he pulled me to the bumpercars. He immediately got into one and pulled me onto his lap.
" this isnt safe!" I whined only half kidding.
"Exactaly." he smiled as he hit the gas at break neck speed.A small girl screamed as 'we' slammed mercissly into her. The operator kicked us off after that cause we were a 'danger' to children. I was more than pleased to sink my teeth into a delishious corn-dog.
"I didnt know you were into this kinda stuff?" I asked,mouth still full. He didnt seem to mind. He replied back indifferently.
" i dont." He replied. "its only this great cause your here." he smirked. I answered in a fake voice,
"hun-ey since when are you so romantic?"
He looked down at me in mock-seriousness.
"Baby,Im whatever you want me to be whenever you want it" he dipped me low to the ground and kissed me gently before returning me to the ground. Although my head was somewhere else.His Plain white t-shirt fit well across his perfectly cut abs, well his worn out jeans hugged his waist comfertably.His almost black hair fell messily infront of his eyes...oh his eyes...painted on a beautiful canvas...the dark brown pouring emotion. His lips...begging for touch.I shook away the thoughts just in time to hear the screaming and feel myself being pulled closer to the stage.It was almost midnight now but we werent in a rush.The band belted out thier rebellious sound.He swayed to the music.Finally the beat slowed as the band launched into a ballad.He stepped closer and raised my hands to his shoulders then lightly placed his hands on my back. We were slow dancing. The beat quickened but we stayed the same, never speeding up..but never stopping...completly lost in the moment.He kissed me slowly and i couldnt be more thankful for such an amazing person in my life and couldnt wish for anything more. I pulled him into a tight hug as he stroked my hair as the first firework light in the perfectly still night sky.
"lets go, my Juliet." he whispered lightly in my ear. We found ourselfs at the ferris wheel. He smiled shyly at me as if approving he was allowed to go. I smiled back and we climbed in.For a while we didnt talk. We just held eachother and watched the explosion of colors across the sky.When we reached the top he just stared at me.
"What." I asked self-consiously.
"You are so beautiful" He told me.He looked at me deeply.It was my turn to stare.His Eyes Shawn with all the light in the world.I didnt know what to say. I managed:
"Your everything to me.Your my day, my night,my happiness, everything only occurs because your in my heart."
"Your everything to me and i couldnt live without you.it would be as if i was the last person alive."I couldnt sppek. I pulled him to me and kissed him as if id never get to again, as if there would never be another day or night.
"I love you." he whispered as the

Sky.Went.Dark <3

The author's comments:
I wrote this for my sister Destyni because she Loves a good romance story and i wanted to prove to her that i am capable! love ya des! I never put names in my storys because i want people to imagine...put themselves in the place of my charector and really feel the emotion. I hope you enjoyed.

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This article has 86 comments.


on Nov. 24 2010 at 11:08 am
Dragonscribe BRONZE, West Lafayette, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A Person's a Person no Matter how Small"
and
"A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet"
and
"God helps those who help themselves"

What does that mean? And, yes, I really am sorry because I re-read it an it's not that bad. Some grammar problems, but it's OK. Just not my sort of writing. Sorry. God Bless.

KellyR GOLD said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 3:48 pm
KellyR GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

I only know what you choose to show me, and what you have shown me I really don't like.

on Nov. 12 2010 at 4:00 pm
Dragonscribe BRONZE, West Lafayette, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A Person's a Person no Matter how Small"
and
"A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet"
and
"God helps those who help themselves"

Well, I have posted things now, but I do come on this website because I thought it was about constructive criticism. And notice I did say "it is pretty good" at the end of my comment. You seem very up in arms about my small judgment when you do not even know me. Sorry, I was only posting my opinion.

KellyR GOLD said...
on Nov. 11 2010 at 7:59 pm
KellyR GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

*critisize

KellyR GOLD said...
on Nov. 11 2010 at 7:58 pm
KellyR GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

Maybe there is a reason Dragonscribe hasn't posted anything. She is obviously just here to harshly critize people even though she probably can't write.

gozochrissie said...
on Nov. 11 2010 at 9:15 am
gozochrissie, Cleveland, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"the wise man is not he who thinks he knows everything, but he who knows he knows nothing"....

theres some puntuaction errors but i love the over all story!!!

on Oct. 20 2010 at 8:27 pm
Rainbowmadhatter, Reno, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 81 comments

a little speeling and punct. errors but other than that i really liked it...i can see myself in her position too

ur sister is really lucky to have such an awsome sister like you

 


on Oct. 16 2010 at 9:11 am
TIMLUVER03 SILVER, Valdosta, Georgia
6 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
We can't all be hereos because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.- Will Rodgers

i liked it. i could actually see my self in her place.but you might want to look back over it(spelling,punt.,etc) other than that i liked it.     i hope your sister liked it,too thanks

Megi24 SILVER said...
on Oct. 5 2010 at 8:57 am
Megi24 SILVER, Ridgway, Pennsylvania
9 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This was decent. I think its more that hes the center of her world that turns me off rather than your writing style. A guy isnt the only thing a girl has to live for

on Oct. 1 2010 at 4:07 pm
Dragonscribe BRONZE, West Lafayette, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A Person's a Person no Matter how Small"
and
"A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet"
and
"God helps those who help themselves"

um...i haven't posted anything...

don't insult people for the sake of insulting.

and like i said, it is pretty good, just not for me.


on Oct. 1 2010 at 2:03 pm
romance_lover GOLD, Edmonton, Other
12 articles 0 photos 28 comments
listen , Dragonscribe , i read some of your stuff and your really not in the place to criticize me . that was my first post , if you dont like it , dont read it .

on Sep. 29 2010 at 4:59 pm
Dragonscribe BRONZE, West Lafayette, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A Person's a Person no Matter how Small"
and
"A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet"
and
"God helps those who help themselves"

What is the idea of this piece?

It doesn't even have a plot.

Sorry if I sound too critical.

It is pretty good.


on Sep. 29 2010 at 4:58 pm
Dragonscribe BRONZE, West Lafayette, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A Person's a Person no Matter how Small"
and
"A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet"
and
"God helps those who help themselves"

What was the idea of this?

There isn't even a plot.

Sorry if I sound too critical.

It is pretty good.


OneChance GOLD said...
on Sep. 28 2010 at 8:49 pm
OneChance GOLD, Westland, Michigan
18 articles 8 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥be who YOU want to be, not what OTHERS want to see. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

all though this is your "opinion" i believe this was very well written, yeah in a few spots it needed spell check, but the overall idea was great!

on Sep. 28 2010 at 7:29 pm
Dragonscribe BRONZE, West Lafayette, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A Person's a Person no Matter how Small"
and
"A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet"
and
"God helps those who help themselves"

I did not like this. It was cheesy, and great words/phrases won't save you if your punctuation stinks. Also, spelling needs to checked, and indentation in some places. But I understand that you wrote this for your sister, so maybe this doesn't matter to you.

Keep writing.


Elisabeth GOLD said...
on Sep. 28 2010 at 6:15 pm
Elisabeth GOLD, Nottingham, New Hampshire
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A true friend is hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

Okay so I thought that this story was okay. A few spelling and grammar mistakes, but other then that okay. I also found it a little hard to figure out who was talking at the end, but otherwise cute.

on Sep. 6 2010 at 5:20 pm
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE, Stewartsville, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are two main tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde

Besides the grammar and spelling mistakes, it's very cute:)

on Jul. 24 2010 at 9:03 pm
silent_reader BRONZE, Columbia, Maryland
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I cannot live without books." - Thomas Jefferson

It was soooo good!(except for a few grammer mistakes) but really good!

on Jul. 24 2010 at 3:51 pm
Mariah_0.0 SILVER, Peyton, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be the change you want to see in the world

This was a very good nd romantic story. i wish guys could be this romantic in real life. Your puncuation and spelling could be a little bit better though. other than that very good job! :)

KonyaB!!! GOLD said...
on Jul. 2 2010 at 12:10 pm
KonyaB!!! GOLD, Edison, New Jersey
14 articles 0 photos 99 comments
Very sweet and romantic, but you might wanna brush up on your grammar and spelling, or otherwise it's really nice! :)


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