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A wave of nausea swept over her body and again she threw her head down as she puked into the toilet. She flushed and leaned back allowing herself to breath. The thought of what lay ahead of her made her sick. She coughed and flushed a second tim and this time closed to lid and leaned her cheek against the cool toilet seat. Oh, it felt good to just rest. Forget everything and just cling to this toilet. She could rest here and be safe. He eyes drifted toward the tiling and she could see a faded, painted rose on each chipped square. Another wave of sickness but this time she held it down so she could keep her head against this pillow and forget.
The dirt path ahead of him was dark.
Still he waited his eyes just looking.
Just looking, but still there was nothing.
She lifted her clammy face from the toilet seat and wiped puke from her chin as she looked around. All she could see was rusty metal stall doors and whitewashed walls. The chipped rose tiling was the most beautiful thing in here. That is pathetic. She thought. Man, did it reek in here. She was amazed she hadn’t noticed it before. She knew she had to leave, the smell was only making her sickness worse but the toilet refused to let her go. It was so strong, so sturdy, so dependable. This was her rock; there was no way she could let go.
Time passed. Still nothing. He began to sing softly, about her of course, it was the only thing on his mind.
“You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Hs voice was like a river. Suddenly he noticed a rose. The color of the rose was like a presence. It was so alive, dew rested on its petals making it sparkle. It exploded in beauty and fullness. He smiled. It was just like her.
She shook not because she was sick but out of fear. She was terrified to let go. What would happen to her? What would happen if she left this place? It had been there. Yes, it was disgusting and exploded with filth and emptiness. But at least it was there; at least it was something she could depend on. He was not. Yes, he had always been there. Yes, he would sit at he table with her and listen to her talk for as long as she wanted. Yes, he would hold when she wept and he would weep too. But he wasn’t dependable. Why? Because he just didn’t make any sense. She knew what he had done for her in the past.
He began to run. His feet pushed against the earth again and again. Destroying the distance between him and her.
Somewhere someone spit at him, mocked him.
She knew that she was his princess.
He was pushed to the ground. Again and again. He fought to get back up, but the forces were so strong. He began clawing at the dirt, inch by inch moving toward her.
With a cry of anger he pushed back against the forces and leapt to his feet. There shatter echoed in the air. He kept running.
She knew that he wanted her EXACTLY the way she was.
He ran. His step never faltered, he never grew weary. He just ran.
Oh, she knew. That thought made her cringe. Runaway. Hide. Cling to a toilet because HE wanted her. Even as her tears ran down the side of the toilet, she knew he still wanted her and that’s why she would never let go. Fear and chained her and this piece of metal together. What would he do to her? He would never harm her of course. Of course. But she was clinging to a toilet.
He had great and glorious plans of her, plans to give her a hope and a future. He had said so.
But she was clinging to a toilet.
All he wanted to do was to dance with her.
BUT SHE WAS CLINGING TO A TOLIET!!!
The tears fell faster. And all she could do was cry. Somewhere deep inside of her a cry rang out, with each tear that spilled over the lid and ran down the smooth side of the toilet and onto the rose tiles it grew stronger till finally it became a lament. A song. For him.
He was close now. He rounded the corner and he could see the building. And suddenly he was there.
A door opened. The tears stopped. Who was here? She could hear shoes scratching against the floor. It stopped. And she could feel his eyes on her. Slowly she turned her head. After what seemed like an eternity she opened her eyes. All she could see was him. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he smiled at her. Love dancing in his eyes. Suddenly she knew that love was dancing in her’s too. His scarred hands stretched out to her. And she let go the toilet.