Unexpected Love

July 5, 2009
By FatabulousHannah BRONZE, Chester, Virginia
FatabulousHannah BRONZE, Chester, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laughing is key.


No boyfriend, ugly, and an outcast at school. “What a life?” thought Carrie.

Carrie was in the 8th grade at Cloven Junior High. Her hair like a rats nest sitting upon her noggin with odd highlights spewed caused gossiping and a lot of back talking from her big mouth.
With the body like a windy road, square jaw, and flat butt, she never really got attention from Cam, the school quarter back.
His features were beyond the point where staring was over-rated. Although, if you touched his bulging biceps he might mistaken you as a weird obsessive freak, which technically you are for feeling the "God of Hotness". Carrie despised his girlfriend, Brittney, the head cheerleader of the spirit squad. In guys’ perspectives, Brittney was the "Goddess of Hotness." She had locks of bleach blond hair that looked like it could sever your hand if you touched it since it was so straight. Unlike Carrie's body, Brittney's was the perfect hourglass shape and a big chest that certainly attracted guys with hopes of losing their virginity with her. Although Brittney definitely had the looks, she certainly didn't have the brains that Carrie had.
One day after school, she was sitting outside her house since it felt like a California day. The tall trees were swaying in the warm breeze as cute little bunnies were hopping along with their mother. This was the perfect time to just lay back and relax instead of worrying about her Spanish exam in about two weeks. When it felt like hours had passed, she sat up and realized someone was walking up the road leading closer to her home. She suddenly realized that it was Cam, the quarter back at Cloven Junior High! She was pacing back and forth trying to decide whether she should go chat with Cam or just rush inside before he even notices her. She decided that an opportunity talking to Cam shouldn't be thrown away like that, so the combed through her knotty hair with her long skinny fingers, and raced down the stairs to where Cam was walking.

"Hey, um, what's up?” Carrie said to the burning hot quarter back.
"Hey! Haven't I seen you from somewhere before?" asked Cam.
"How embarrassing? He doesn't even remember me from school... Maybe I should just make an excuse and sprint back to the house”, Carrie thought
" Junior hot, I mean...Junior high" Carrie said. She started blushing until he started laughing for some odd reason.
" What’s so funny?" Carrie demanded. "Is there something on my face?" Carrie worried.
He laughed again. And again. And again!
She started getting fed up, but soon enough she started giggling, too. Although she didn't know what they were amused about, that just made her laugh even more! After about minutes of laughing, Cam started talking to her.
"So, you live around here?" questioned Cam.
"Yeah, actually my house is the yellow Victorian on top of the hill up there" she answered and pointed towards her quite large house.
Time passed as they talked about themselves and their family. Soon enough it was almost completely dark, and Carrie realized she hadn't eaten anything that day, and was starving, plus her mom would have a heart attack not knowing where she went.
"Hey, uh, I better start heading home before my mom freaks. She's really protective since I'm her only child." Carrie told Cam.
"Yeah, well, I actually had fun talking to you. I usually can't do that with girls because they’re either too busy looking at my muscles or even trying to feel them. Ha." exclaimed Cam.
"Well it wasn't easy not staring" chuckled Carrie. "Although, muscles aren't your only good feature." flirted Carrie.
" Why, thank you! You know, you do have beautiful eyes. Don't tell Brittney this, but you're different from the other girls. You’re not self-absorbed and have a great personality. I wish Brittney was less conceited and actually studied once in awhile..." Cam spilled.
Carrie could NOT believe her ears! Was he confessing that she was better than Brittney? She had no idea that a few hours of talking with Cam would convince him to actually confess anything in his personal life, or that Brittney needed to study!
Sooner than expected they had walked all the way back to Carrie's house. They had said their good-byes and Cam left.
As soon as she walked in the door, her mom started nagging about why she hadn't told her where she went, and that she shouldn't have been out that late. A perfect ending to the perfect day.
The next day, she saw Cam and they both waved at each other. She was flattered. Plus, Brittney saw and was hot. Later, Carrie found out that Brittney had actually broke up with Cam! She knew that every girl would be hanging all over him, and he would find someone better than her. Her day was ruined...
Days passed with no action from Cam besides waving to each other every now and then. She had lost all hope about getting with Cam.
That day after school, she was too depressed to eat lunch or even go inside her own home. If she did, she would have to deal with her mom asking what was wrong and then explaining that guys aren't that important, but to Carrie, guys were that important! Especially Cam.
The moon crept out and the stars began their gleaming. An unexpected knocking was at the front door. Carrie was curious who would come to her house this late at night. She cracked the door open to see who it was. To her surprise, it was Cam!
"Is my hair okay? Does my breath reek?" Carrie wondered as Cam looked at her.
" Carrie, I can't stop thinking about you. After Brittney broke up with me, you were my first thought. You make me happy. You make me complete. Will you be my girlfriend?" Cam asked directly.
As soon as she lost hope, he came to the rescue. She had wished for this moment to come for so long that it almost seemed unreal. Just to make sure, she pinched her sweaty skin. It was real!
"Yes!” exclaimed Carrie. They both leaned in closer and their lips touched as if they fit like a puzzle. Very unexpected love.


The author's comments:
What inspiried me to write this piece was that whether you're an outcast or don't have the best looks, love is awaiting somewhere at anytime. It doesn't matter if you have green hair or are overweight! True lovers will like you, for you.

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This article has 53 comments.


LMast said...
on Jul. 1 2010 at 12:16 am
this is... okay. just be careful with your grammar.

horsegirl said...
on Jun. 30 2010 at 8:29 pm
Anj16, you forgot a comma after 'thought'

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Jun. 30 2010 at 8:29 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
the comma is not necessary. it'll make the phrasing awkward

Cutie said...
on Jun. 30 2010 at 8:27 pm
Anj16, you forgot a comma after thought.

on Jun. 30 2010 at 11:52 am
Annabelle294 SILVER, Branford, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 64 comments
Aww, this is really cute. Carrie is a luck girl

on Jun. 8 2010 at 6:22 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

It's OK.:)

romancelover said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 3:05 pm
ohhh whoops, it said girlfriend. sorry! 

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 12:08 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments

its nice. just remember that whenever you're writing the character's thought, don't enclose it with quotation marks, because quotation marks are meant for dialogues.

example: God, what a freak, she thought as she sauntered away.


on Jun. 8 2010 at 7:34 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

You're right, it was a good story, but I don't think it mentioned that Brittney was her friend.

romancelover said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 6:26 am
this is soo cute! i loved it, not corny at all! i want this to happen to me! carrie's sooo lucky... and her friend, Brittney, doesn't sound like a good friend. but this just goes to show that the smarties DO win out in the end!

on May. 17 2010 at 8:27 pm
CanYouSeeTheCrazy PLATINUM, Cle Elum, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 125 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I know why everyone in this world is so desperate to find love."
"Oh yeah? Why then?"
"Because, it's the closest thing we have to magic."

just like a fairy tale

on May. 13 2010 at 9:32 am
esmeralda BRONZE, Oak Park, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"you know your inlove when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." dr suess "you are my glue without you, id be nothing but broken peices" miley cyrus
"when i saw yo i fell inlove, and you smiled because you knew"

it should be longer, so it doesn't seem to sudden

other than that its really good


on Apr. 25 2010 at 9:56 pm
Green8a8 SILVER, NY, New York
8 articles 1 photo 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
im the author of my life, unfortunately im writing in pen therefore i can't erase nothing about it.-by some crazy friend of mine

agree cheesey but GOOOOOD

on Apr. 25 2010 at 8:37 pm
PussnBoots GOLD, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life hands you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown
"The world is my pineapple. I just have to figure out a way past the prickly parts." -Me

It's cheesy good. Ease into it a little. it almost souns fake, but you got great potential! keep writing.

on Mar. 10 2010 at 4:58 pm
SilverLuna SILVER, _________, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Come fairies take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.".... W.B. Yeats.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Yeah, I'm going to have to agree, you need to ease into this love, other wise it just sounds somewhat false and cheezy. If you give more lee-way between the love coming to it's peak it makes the realization all the more sweet! Keep writing!(:

on Mar. 10 2010 at 2:39 pm
sidneynicole BRONZE, McKinney, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life knock you down to your knees, just know you are in a perfect postition to pray."

it was ok maybe you should just pratice more writting

on Mar. 7 2010 at 11:45 am
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
At first it was great! but then the way he just starts complementing her is a little too much. Try to ease in to it a little more subtly

on Feb. 15 2010 at 3:19 pm
LostAngel DIAMOND, Jersey, New Jersey
65 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Just live your life, if people don't like the way you are doing it then they can get out of it" "if you can't stand me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best"

maybe next story you should expand and not rush it so much. but other then that it was great

on Feb. 15 2010 at 2:54 pm
wordweaver96 PLATINUM, Winchester, Kentucky
37 articles 2 photos 255 comments

Favorite Quote:
" It is not our abilities but our choices that show who we truly are. "
Albus Dumbledore


See, we really DON'T have anything to fear but fear itself!

Cool! Yeah, overall it's a good story. :)

on Feb. 15 2010 at 2:48 pm
Mykindapeopledontcarewhatyouthink BRONZE, Gueydan, Louisiana
2 articles 0 photos 124 comments
thats kinda how i feel but i still think the story itself is good


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