Teach Me

July 21, 2009
Eric walks outside to see his lover sitting on the grass looking up at the nighttime sky. Eric approaches him and asks " What are you doing out here?" His lover, Darien, sighs and says, without looking up, " I'm just thinking. You know how much I love the dark." Eric sits next to Darien and looks up as well. He turns to Darien and asks, " Do you mind if I think with you?" Darien smiles, turns to see Eric and says, " You know I don't." After 5 minutes of complete silence, Darien asks, " How could you love me?" Eric looks at him puzzled. Darien didn't look at him. Eric asked, " What do you mean?" Darien looked at the ground for a minute then back at the sky. " I mean, loving a guy that doesn't even know why he is even living. A man-" Eric started shaking his head in disbelief. "Who doesn't want to look in the mirror and his greatest enemy is himself. Eric my heart is filled with-" Eric stands up and shouts " Shut up! Just shut up!" tears start to fill his eyes. Then he realize why he so angry again, Darien has done this before. He always talks down on himself. Every time he does this he ends up claiming that no one loves him, or that no one is incapable of doing so. Eric was sick of it.
" Darien! Do you even hear yourself? I can't even stand to let you talk about yourself like this." The first tear fell down his cheek. Eric stopped shouting " Why do you have to go there all the time? Why is it that you see all these things in yourself? I don't." Darien looked at him. Eric was getting impatient and yelled, "Answer me!" Darien choked a bit " I don't know!" Eric's tears were now coming back to him now that he heard there was no answer. Darien stood up and faced Eric. " I just want to know how do you do it? I can't. I mean, if I can't see any good in me, then how could you?" Eric looked at him funny, " Wait, are you saying that you don't believe me when I say that I love you?" Darien looked away. "I can't find myself to believe you. That’s why I'm asking though, how can you love me?"
Eric was pissed and began to holler " Fine! To answer your question, it's really hard. In fact it's so hard that it makes me cry Darien! I'm in love with a man who only sees dark. I'm in love with a man that I don't think is even cable of loving me!" Eric as trying to hold back the tears but his body betrayed him. He was now even more enraged and started screaming. " I have to listen to you talk about the worth of your life, the dark side to everything and how you wish I would find someone better than you! Don’t you think I would if you weren’t so perfect for me? Darien...you" Eric stopped because he was bawling uncontrollably. Darien saw the neighbors staring, but he ignored them and walked to Eric. Darien is hurt looking at him cry. He whispered in hopes that Eric would not shout and the neighbors would call the cops. "Darien what?" asked Darien. " Eric looked deep into Darien's watery eyes and said " You hurt me every time you do this. You don't know how much it kills me when I have to hear how miserable you are with me."
Darien said, " It's not you" Eric shook his head and said "You don't get it. Why can't you be happy with me? I HATE when you say that you have no purpose. Darien, I want me to be your purpose. Your purpose is to be with me. I know your mine."

It was really hard to hear all of that coming form Eric. Darien felt like crap, he never knew that his words would hurt him so badly. Darien was lost for words and he knew the next best thing. He removed Eric's hands form his face and leaned forward and kisses him passionately. Darien caressed Eric’s face and wiped away his tears. Darien pulled away slowly.
Darien stared deep into Eric's eyes and murmured, " I'm sorry. I didn't EVER want to hurt you like this." Eric knew he meant every word. There was a moment of muteness till Eric looked away and started to walk away. Darien grabbed his hand and pulled Eric closer to him and started to tear up again. “ Don’t give up on me Eric. Teach me. Teach me how to love me. And you.” Eric didn’t say anything but when Eric yanked Darien towards him and kissed him. Darien got his answer.

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TwiceAsNice said...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 5:40 am
Please comment!!!
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