Sweet Gertrude

January 12, 2009
By
Hello Diary,














12-14- 1799
My name is Monty Bones. I am a polite skeleton. Though tall and lanky I started a diet. Not
intentionly, for I have fallen in love with Lady Gertrude. The plumpest woman in town. Her
cheeks-rose red, her hair short with curls. She wears bright long-sleeved dresses that hide her
ankles. She has sun hats with things that dangle. She most loves when people stare while she sticks
her nose in the air. I too am upon these eyes that snicker and point. Always my pupils widen for I
madly adore every lump that hangs on her body. I'd love to charm her with musical ribs and send
her the finest wines. But I am just a poor twig she's the wealthy one I know from association. I
work for her father the banker. I stand behind the counter glaring out the window upon the gray
town. At three o clock it never fails she lights my heart. Passes the bank just to enter the bakery
next door. Where her boyfriend Phil the baker works. He is plump as well but oh so ugly. Phil is
also the top chief in town. He can make a grilled cheese taste unforgettable. Uh-how I despise him.







12-18-1799




I had lunch at the bakery today. I sat in the booth across from Gertrude and Phil's table. I over
heard him tell her;" GERTRUDE YOU ARE TOO SKINNY, HEAR TRY MY CHEESECAKE CONOLIS! OR YOU'LL END
UP LOOKING LIKE HIM." (Phil carelessly pointed towards me.) That's the first time Lady Gertrude
and I had eye contact. Phil was too busy catching his breath in between his heavy laughs to see her
smile at me. (I slowly hid myself in the booth and tried too swallow my food which I had no loner
any appetite for.)


13-5-1799 It's nearly been a month since I've last been blessed to witness her beauty. Though
not a day goes by when she isn't lingering in my brain. I CANT STAND NOT TO KNOW WHAT I COULD
HAVE! My heart has been weakened yet I'm filled with anger. Angry at her but more at myself. For I
am the man therefore I should make the first move. I shall NOT hesitate!

13-8-1799 Word has it that Phil has been working on some kind of special recipe to compete in the
Winter Stew Festival. I've also heard Lady Gertrude hasn't been seen out because she has swelled
up and is as big as a house. (Most likely from Phil's cooking.) And has become most frightened of
Phil for no particular reason. ( I am grinning at the thought.) There is no better time than now.


I arrived in her apartment complex. Seeing other people's horrific decorations, stray cats and,
bent up blinds. I instantly gasped, my stomach curls from a smell that fills the air. It smells
of pork or some type of ethnic meat. It makes the air steamy, I'm now light headed. The path is
uneven and I struggle to hold my vomit down. I clinch the letter I wrote to Gertrude in my left hand
as I arrive at her door. I knock lightly three times-no answer. I now knock with major
enforcement. Phil opens the door" What is it?" Beyond him inside her apartment I view a larger
than life pot, there are signs of a struggle. On top of the table a cutting board with spices and
large pieces Of meat and in the pot pops up Gertrude's decapitated arm. Her fingers wrinkled and
spacey.




4-16-1806

I folded up the letter I wrote for my Gertrude that read;"You have me" and placed it in her dry
boiling hand. The rest was a total blur but I killed Phil and served my time. This is my first night
back in the real world, in my home all alone. Just like old times.


I finally managed to fall asleep when I hear a light knock on my window. I look at the clock-three o
clock. I look up at my bed room window their stands a skeleton starring back at me! Monty:
"Hello there?" Skeleton: "You have me too Monty Bones. It's me Gertrude."





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