Defying Love | Teen Ink

Defying Love MAG

May 24, 2009
By awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 176 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground"
~Theordore Roosevelt


I didn't want to like him. He was just so charming.

This might sound like every other love story, and it may be, but it may not. If you don't read on, you'll never know.

My name is Emily Brown, which I've always been quite happy with. I think it makes me sound pleasant but ordinary, and I prefer to blend in. Now, I suppose it's only polite to tell you a bit about myself before I jump into my story. I am five feet, two inches, have brown hair that comes to my shoulders, and I am not talented in any special way. These are the basic facts of me, and I think these are all I ought to tell you.

His name was Andrew Rivers and he was perfectly wonderful in every way. When he first came to my school in twelfth grade, he was a bit eccentric and didn't fit in right away. He was into music and played the drums and the guitar, although he wasn't good at either. What he was good at was singing, and when he did, you wanted to cry and laugh and sing along with him all at once.

My name is Emily Brown and his was Andrew Rivers and I loved him.

About two months into my last year of high school, Andrew asked me out. I was surprised since I had hardly ever talked to him, but I didn't have a boyfriend, and I didn't know how to say no.

It may help you to know that at my school there were couples that were simply together for the name, and some that were together only to have a date for dances and for kissing and other such things. When Andrew asked me out I had no idea what his intentions were, and I didn't like having no idea. I'm by no means a confrontational person, but I was starting to feel offended that after I had said that I would date him, he hadn't said another word to me. So I went up to him and we had a little talk.

Me: “Hey, Andrew.”

Andrew: “Hey.”

Me: “So …”

Andrew: (annoyingly, nothing)

Me: “You asked me out.”

Andrew: (nothing again)

Me: “Why?”

Andrew: “Why'd I ask you out?”

Me: “Right.”

Andrew: “I felt like it.”

Me: (irritated) “You felt like it?”

Andrew: “That's what I said, isn't it?”

Me: (infuriated) “I'm sorry. Actually I'm not. I didn't realize you were such a jerk, and I don't want to go out with you anymore.” (I'd never dumped someone before, okay?)

Andrew: “Are you dumping me?”

Me: “What do you think?”

Andrew: “Why?”

Me: “I feel like it.”

Andrew: (smiling) “Do you like Chinese food?”

Me: “I hate it.”

Andrew: “You've never had it.”

Me: “How do you know?”

Andrew: (laughing) “I'm good at reading people.”

Me: “Well, obviously you suck, because I've had Chinese food a million times and I hated it every time.”

Andrew: “Would you like to go out with me tonight?”

Me: “You're asking me on a date?”

Andrew: “Yes.”

Me: “Read my answer.”

Andrew: “Wonderful! I'll see you tonight. Be ready by six. Ish. Sixish.”

I hated this strange boy who I'd only really talked to twice. He made me infuriated. The only problem was, I couldn't figure out if I liked that or not.

That night at sixish sharp, Andrew showed up at my doorstep. My parents have never been into meeting my boyfriends, but as I was stepping out, he stepped in. He walked right into the living room where my parents sat watching the baseball game.

When he came back out I asked, “What'd you say?”

“I told them I'd have you back by eight.”

“Ish?”

He laughed. “Nope. Just eight.”

We didn't talk much on the car ride. He had a CD playing that sounded kind of like Bob Marley, but I'd never heard the song before. It wasn't until we got there that I realized I didn't know where we were going. A small sign stood in front of the building but the name was too peeled away for me to be able to read it. What I could read was the sign beneath where the name should be, and it said, “The best Chinese cuisine for miles.”

“Chinese, huh?”

He smirked.

We walked inside and it was only then that I realized exactly how small the building was. There were little tables in the center of the room, about five of them, and a couch against one wall for sitting while you waited. As if. There was no waiting; we were the only customers. A sign read “PLEASE SEAT YOURSELF,” but I guess because of the lack of business, a waiter came over to seat us. He tried to show us to a table, but Andrew said, “Oh, no, thank you. We'll be sitting down here.”

He strolled over to the couch and at first I thought he wanted us to sit there, but then he grabbed two pillows and placed them on the ground a little way away from the tables.

I looked at him, baffled.

“Authenticity,” he said, smiling. He was always smiling.

I, personally, couldn't see how sitting on the floor was authentic.

***

There were many other dates, all very unusual. I was used to dances and movies, but with Andrew I got sunsets and local concerts. Once he took me to a bingo night that his aunt was hosting. Oddly enough, that was the night we first kissed.

I remember so clearly the day of graduation, the day I realized that Andrew and I wouldn't always be together. After we threw our hats and got our diplomas, he found me.

“End of high school, huh?” he said.

“Yeah.”

“What do you want to do, Emily?”

“With my life?”

“Sure.”

“Be with you.”

He didn't smile like I wanted him to.

“Don't you want to go to college?”

I sighed. “Want to, or have to?”

Now he smiled. “You choose.”

“I should. Go to college, I mean. I found one that'll accept me.”

There was a long pause before I said, “Andrew, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I dunno. Do what I do best, I guess. Play my music.”

“Oh. Yeah. That's cool. See you later?”

“When would I see you?”

“I see what you mean.”

“Bye, Emily.”

“Bye.”

Thinking back, I wish I had said something better than bye. I wish I had told him that I loved him more than words could describe and that when he sang to me I felt like I was all that mattered in the world. I wanted to tell him that if he had just asked, I wouldn't have gone to college. I would have played his music with him.

I'm sitting at my computer right now, looking at a name on the screen on a website called “peoplefinder.” I want to call him and hear his voice, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid that he won't be my same Andrew.

I get a glass of cold water and sit on my couch. I picture myself having one last conversation with him.

Me: “Hey, Andrew.” (I say it so casually, just like old times.)

Andrew: “Hey, Emily.”

Me: “Why are you wearing a tie?”

Andrew: “Why shouldn't I be?”

Me: “I don't know.”

Andrew: “I have a job.”

Me: “Good.”

Andrew: “I'm a lawyer, Emily.”

Me: “That's great.”

Andrew: “You don't sound like that's great.”

Me: “Don't I?”

Andrew: “I live in an apartment in the city. I talk on the phone with other businesspeople.”

Me: “I'm proud of you.”

Andrew: “I have a diploma hanging up on the wall of my office. My office.”

Me: “Do you play music anymore, Andrew?”

Andrew: “Music.”

He looks at me as if he doesn't remember the word.

Andrew: “No, I don't play my music anymore.”

Me: “Oh.”

Me: “I loved you, Andrew.”

Andrew: “Loved? Past tense?”

Me: “I think so.”

Andrew: “I love you.”

Me: “Why'd you ask me out?”

Andrew: “I thought you were beautiful and smart, and I loved how shiny your dark brown hair was. I liked how you weren't too loud, and you didn't wear low-cut shirts like most other girls.”

Me: “I wish you'd said, ‘Because I felt like it.'”

Andrew: “Sorry.”

Me: “Me too.”

Andrew: “I have to be going.”

Me: “Yeah.”

Me: “Wait!”

Andrew: “Yes?”

Me: “I'd never had Chinese food before.”



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This article has 542 comments.


on Apr. 25 2011 at 3:09 pm
awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 176 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground"
~Theordore Roosevelt

No, I definitely get that, no offense taken. Reading back I see how it may be a little too vague throughout. I meant to leave their relationship up to interpretation, but I see it as two high schoolers who love each other and have a very hopeful relationship but take their separate ways. Hope this clears some things up, and thanks for your feedback!

on Apr. 24 2011 at 10:07 pm
penny-writer BRONZE, Swings And Slides Ridge, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
that was amazing. it was so good but the ending was so sad yet it was kinda perfect. if the ending were happy I wouldnt have realized how much I liked it

Omg-beaver said...
on Apr. 23 2011 at 4:15 am
Omg-beaver, Coventry, Other
0 articles 1 photo 2 comments
Yeah I get what you mean and i can see why you left it deliberately ambiguous, but i just don't understand how the two characters are suppose to feel about each other. Like are they meant to be madly in love or is it just a casual thing that they wished had gone further. The whole things is just a bit vague for me, i don't mean to sound offensive by the way it's just how i feel.  

massacre said...
on Apr. 22 2011 at 11:47 pm
massacre, Lakewood, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hate is a word for somebody you love but no longer believe in."

well, I agree with awesomeaugust. Don't worry, you ended it PERFECTLY! Great job. I like how you portrayed Andrew's laid-back attitude. Nice.

on Apr. 22 2011 at 8:31 pm
awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 176 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground"
~Theordore Roosevelt

not at all, actually...and thanks!

 


sannntiago said...
on Apr. 22 2011 at 8:25 pm
sannntiago, Burlington, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Everyone judges, but no one knows the truth"

just finished wiping a tear from my cheek. BEYOND AMAZING writing!, was this based on a true story?

on Apr. 22 2011 at 8:09 pm
awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 176 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground"
~Theordore Roosevelt

haha wow thanks...I just felt liek it should end there when I was writing it...I thnik I wouldve upset people either way had I written them back together or had them break up.

Dancer7 said...
on Apr. 22 2011 at 6:39 pm
what happens next?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

on Apr. 22 2011 at 5:21 pm
kaitlynnbreanne BRONZE, Sun City, Arizona
4 articles 2 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale." - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I actually kind of wanted to cry at this. It's just.. sad. Simple and sad. Thanks for posting it (:

Malsie8 GOLD said...
on Apr. 22 2011 at 3:28 pm
Malsie8 GOLD, Placentia, California
12 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"
-Lord of the Rings

i loved this, so bitter sweet yet completely true :')

Omg-beaver said...
on Apr. 22 2011 at 12:06 pm
Omg-beaver, Coventry, Other
0 articles 1 photo 2 comments
I dont get it, it just ends like right in the middle of the story, no offence but i don't know how this got onto the homepage, or published 

on Apr. 22 2011 at 10:16 am
JamesBLaurie SILVER, Montreal, Other
6 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing - Benjamin Franklin

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!?!?!?! This was an amazing piece...but does/do she/you call him?!?!?!?

on Apr. 22 2011 at 9:40 am
LoverOfKnowledge SILVER, Columbia, South Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments
I loved ur last line!!!!!

Duchamp SILVER said...
on Apr. 18 2011 at 12:05 pm
Duchamp SILVER, Noble, Oklahoma
8 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"ok so let me get this straight, one really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want"-Nathan Explosion

Great writing style, love it. Keep going, your awesome!(:

massacre said...
on Apr. 7 2011 at 10:12 pm
massacre, Lakewood, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hate is a word for somebody you love but no longer believe in."

I agree with MaryKate completely. Makes me very, very sad.

on Mar. 31 2011 at 8:08 pm
Jennifer_Krasinski BRONZE, Decatur, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts if you do it right; you can cry when you get older.

Love.love.love. Keep writing!

on Mar. 31 2011 at 6:52 pm
Jazzalyn BRONZE, Hortense, Georgia
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.”

This piece is amazing! It was completely and utterly breathtaking! I loved it so much! It was just so cute! :)))))))) <3

Ryssa BRONZE said...
on Mar. 31 2011 at 6:48 pm
Ryssa BRONZE, Kennebunk, Maine
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't think or judge, just listen. - Sarah Dessen, Just Listen

Makes me sad. :(

on Mar. 31 2011 at 6:23 pm
inspiredbytheworld BRONZE, Rockford, Michigan
3 articles 5 photos 30 comments
This piece is gorgeous! I really love it, it's awe-inspiring and wonderful!

DearAmelie said...
on Mar. 31 2011 at 6:08 pm
DearAmelie, San Diego, California
0 articles 7 photos 1 comment
This story was well-written and I love how the ending was a perfect finish. Kudos!