Loving the Past

I knew what would happen when my friend said, “Oh, why don't you invite him?” I knew I would fall for him again, but I still hit new message and scrolled down to his name and asked if he wanted to hang out I knew it was a bad idea, but it was something I could not help but desire.

When he pulled in the driveway I saw his headlights shine through the window. He sat for a second, then shut them off and climbed out of his car I could tell he had taken time to get read. He looked amazing, as always I thought I could handle seeing him; I was so wrong. Before he even made it to the door I was on the porch lighting up a cigarette. I gazed at him as he walked inside. I always saw this boy as if he were walking on air. he fascinated me. Once he was out of sight I was relieved. I could finally relax and enjoy my old habit. I closed my eyes and sat back in the not so comfy lawn chair I had positioned myself in.

“I thought you quit?” That's all it took to wake me from my trance.

“I quit quitting,” I replied. After my reply he stood silently. inhaling and exhaling. The smoke surrounding us was so familiar. A little too familiar. being that close to him, after almost a year, was driving me insane. When I stood up I couldn't help but stare. The urge was too great.

“Can I hug you?' I asked in an innocent voice. The same voice I spoke in when we first met When he was half asleep and drunk, and I was getting my hair dyed and insisting that I looked like an astronaut in the highlighting cap. I still remember the first words he spoke to me. “Yes, you are. A damn cute astronaut as a matter of fact.” Those words stay with me to this day. Now we are here. He looked surprised by my question. “Yeh, of course,” he said, and motioned for me to come closer.

That's when I knew I was a goner. I buried my head in his chest and gripped him tightly. This was the boy I used to be in love with. The one I haven't talked to in forever. 'What was I doing?' I thought to myself. i knew I should let go, but when I began to, he lifted my chin and kissed me. It was like old times. I tasted menthol and felt his lip ring against my own lips. At this moment, I knew I still loved him. I knew that once we let go of each other it wouldn't be the same. I knew I would find myself reminiscing on this moment. The moment I fell in love all over again.





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