Today is my first day back from break and my car won't appear to turn on. I stepped on the gas in an effort to start my car’s ignition but still nothing. I started to see black smoke rising from the hood of my car. That clearly wasn't a good sign. I recognized that smell, it was the smell of failure. My car impeded me from getting to work on my first day back from break. I was already missing work and my broken car only deterred my only motivation and hope I had today. I decided I wasn't going to even bother going to work today. It seemed I was stuck in a paradox in which all odds were against me, yet, it seemed everything was going my way, seeing as I truly had no incentive to go work. I was stuck in a pretty ugly situation, an oxymoron I know. All of the sudden, a black truck pulled over by the curbside. A man with dark shades and dark brown hair got out of the vehicle.

“Do you need some help over there?” he said, with a slight look of depravity on his face.

I was speechless, he was by far one of the most attractive guys I had ever seen. In an attempt to get out of my car, I felt my legs tumble against each other and before I knew it, I was down on the floor with my hands on the pavement. Did I just fall out of my own car? I felt a warm gush of blood rush to my cheeks, I was so embarrassed. The man quickly grabbed my arms and picked me up.

“Are you okay?” he said.

“Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to me. My car doesn't seem to turn on” I said in an attempt to control myself. I noticed a small grin on his face. It should be sacrilege to even look at someone that way.

“Wait I recognize you, we went to the same high school together! I'm John do you remember me?” he said.

I did recognize him, he seemed familiar. I couldn't believe my eyes, John looked like a nerd back in high school but now he looked so handsome and manly.

“John! Right, I knew you seemed familiar!” I said with a slight tone of excitement in my voice.

“Wow, it's great to see you again! Wait for me here, I’ll go get some jumper cables from my truck and see if we can fix your car okay?” I nodded, almost in a daze. He came back shortly with a jumper cable which he attempted to place on the motor of my car. As I glanced at him, I could see a look of validation on his face.

“It appears your battery burned out, your gonna have to get that replaced. I know a friend who owns a mechanic shop a couple blocks from here, I can tow you there if you want,” he said. Seeing as I had little choice left, I nodded my head and decided I would wait for him to come back.

“What's your phone number? I might need to give it to the mechanic so he can call you when your car is ready” he said.

I grinned slightly and wrote down my number on an old McDonald's napkin that was inside my car. He closed the hood of my car and waved his hand in valediction as he got inside his truck.

Two hours had passed and there was still no sign of him. Only hours had passed but I felt like I had been waiting for years. This guy has such a strong hold on me that I thought I might go crazy and end up in an asylum. I remember there were rumors in high school that he used to have a crush on me but that was years ago. I had to snap myself out of memory lane and get my car working again. I couldn't jeopardize my chances and wait for him here all day. I grabbed my phone and decided I would do something dramatic in an attempt to get him to get here quicker. I grabbed my phone and texted his number. I decided I would tell him the battery in my car was shooting sparks all over the place. That should get his attention I thought. He replied within a minute saying he would be there as soon as possible.

Soon enough, he had arrived with a tow truck. There seemed to be someone inside the truck but the windows were very opaque and I couldn't make out who it was exactly. A sweaty man who appeared to be the mechanic got out from his truck. The mechanic was wearing a sweaty blue shirt that seemed translucent with all the sweat building up on his shirt.

“This is my friend, he’s great with cars,” he said introducing his friend. I smiled and watched them hook the back of my car to the tow truck.

“We should have your car ready in about a week ma’am,” said the mechanic. I couldn't wait a week! I had to get to work and I couldn't afford missing more days of work.

“A week? Do you think you could get my car fixed a bit sooner? I would really hate to miss more days of work” I said desperately.

"The earliest I can have your car fixed is a minimum of 5 days, ma’am,” said the mechanic with a slight tone of irritation in his voice. I had no idea how I would get to work those days without my car. My work was an hour away from home and going in Uber was going to really hurt my paycheck.

“If you need a ride in the mornings, I could get you to work those days while your car gets fixed,” said John. I felt tremendously guilty I had involved him in my mess yet I felt happy he had offered to help.

“No I really wouldn't want to bother you, I know your busy. I'll find a way to get there” I said.

“It's really not a problem. I'm free in the mornings and I wouldn't mind catching up with an old friend.” I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. It seemed he really wanted to help me out with my problem. I nodded my head and gave him a slight discrete smile.

“Hey, you haven't eaten lunch yet have you? I know a really good ramen place if you wanna go. Lunch on me” he said. Our eyes converged into one and I felt like I was going to faint.

“Sure that sounds great, but I can pay for at least my part of the meal. It's the least I could do” I said. He offered a sly smile, seeming almost shy. The feeling I felt when he smiled was better than the consummation of any relationship.

   During the car ride, we were reminiscing about the memories from our past in high school. I can't believe I never noticed how nice and funny he was back in high school. His smile seemed to make all my problems go away. We soon arrived at the famous ramen restaurant he so highly talked about. The restaurant looked highly opulent for a noodle restaurant. We got a table for two in the outside section of the restaurant. The weather was nice and warm and his presence truly uplifted my spirit besides all that I had gone through today. After we had ordered our plates, I saw someone familiar. It was Britney, one of my best friends from high school. What was up with me seeing all my old high school classmates today? I waved at her and a look of surprise appeared on her face.

“Oh my god, hey!  I haven't seen you in a long time girl!”  Britney said. I stood up and gave her a strong hug.

“Hey it's good to see you too, you remember John right? From junior high?” I said.

“Of course I do! Oh my god, he was the biggest dork in high school” she said with a high pitched laugh.

An awkward smile arose from John’s face as he stood up and shook her hand.

“Are y'all dating now or something? I can't believe it. You both look like such a cute dorky couple together” she said with an obnoxious voice.

“What? Oh gosh no, of course, we’re not dating! We actually started talking today and decided to catch up. He’s only my ride for next week” I quickly said with a tone of defenses in my voice. I glanced up at him and his smile had faded away.

“Well I guess I’ll leave you two both to it, I have to go,” she said. With a slight nod of my head, Britney was gone.

“Your ride for the rest of the week huh. That's me” said John. I felt terrible for saying that. I didn't mean to say that but my impulsiveness got the best of me. His sweet loving eyes now seemed disappointed as he now looked at me like some sort of grotesque human being.

“John I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. I was just joking around” I said desperately. Before I knew it, our food had arrived but I didn't feel hungry anymore. I felt guilty and horrible for treating him like my personal driver rather than a friend. He slightly nodded and offered a small smile, almost forced. “It's fine, I understand,” he said. We ate our food mostly in an awkward silence. I had cleaved our friendship in half.  I tried to explain my feelings but there was a horrible knot in my throat that would not let me speak. It felt that there was nothing I could do to weld the horrible mess I had made.

On the ride back to my place, I tried making small talk but there was truly nothing I could do to make him smile the way he used to before what happened. I could tell he was hurt. I knew I could be overly blunt and harsh when I got nervous. In an attempt to make up for acting like such a wretched person, I decided I would ask him out on a date.

“Hey John, I was thinking, if your free this Friday I won some tickets to the Santana concert coming up. I remember you used to listen to him all the time in high school and I was wondering if you would like to come?” I said.

“That sounds great, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it on Friday though, raincheck though?” John said.

I felt like a wanton woman trying to desperately fix the mess I had made. None of my attempts to win him back were working. Before I knew it, we had arrived at my destination.

“Hey we’ll I enjoyed talking with you today, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I did too and for sure, see you tomorrow,” I said. Before I knew it, he was gone. Like a silent crow who had flown away without making a noise. I knew I would be single forever.

   Almost 5 days had passed of John picking me up early in the mornings for work. Our conversations grew back to normality and John offered that cheesy smile that always gave me butterflies. I was glad we were back to talking normally, but more than anything, I was glad he didn't hate me for what I had said in the past. Before I hoped out of his truck to go to work, he grabbed my hand and looked at me shyly.

“Hey before you go, I was thinking of the offer you mentioned earlier. I'm down to go to the concert on Friday if the offer still stands” he said.

I felt like I had a holy moment of epiphany. It was like I could finally recognize that he truly did like me besides all my mistakes and insecurities. I could see the sweet and divine love he had for me in his sweet eyes in my moment of anagnorisis.

“Of course, I guess I’ll be picking YOU up on Friday huh?” I said with a playful tone of sarcasm in my voice. He did that sweet laugh I always fell for and drove off. Today was going to be a good day.