Millie was a just a girl, at least that's what they all said. Her friends and teachers knew her as more. The girl who smiles and laughs and says whatever comes to her mind without caring. She never cared and that's what everyone loved about her. She was able to go through life, taking risks, and she didn’t care, she didn’t give one big whoop about the world.
Millie had one best friend, her name was South. South was different than Millie. Then again no one was like Millie. South was a tall, quiet, pale, brown-haired girl, that you wouldn’t notice in a crowd of people. Millie had always said, “I always knew I was the one that brings you out of your shell.” She never answered her after that.
Millie was the short, blonde, smiley one in the crowd. She couldn’t be stereotyped. She was just Millie. She got great grades, but couldn’t be classified as a nerd, because she played every sport. She also wasn’t a jock, because sports weren't her life. She was crafty but none of her art made sense to anybody else but her. Like I said she’s just Millie. But, her story wasn’t just Millie’s life, well, it’s easier for her to explain.
August 9, 2017
Sometimes people say what they feel. Normally they’ll regret it after. Sometimes people really mean it and sometimes it’s hard to be tough. Sometimes you’ll try your hardest to be the bigger person, to be tough, but inside you want to melt, sink, disappear. Sometimes it’s okay to let it all spill, and cry and cry, and cry.
August 10, 2017
It was actually a pretty good day. I was hanging out with my neighbor, Georgia. We always have really great times together. That day we were having a great time. We were just laying outside, on our phones when I got a text. A question you’d probably want to avoid all your life and for some reason, I decided to answer it. Why? Because what do I have to lose.
Since the end of school South and I had been fighting, and I didn’t want to come close to her at all. I avoided her today. Until one day, the question came up.
“Do you like South or Georgia better?”
My mind wandered, how do you answer that? But really, I knew what I would say. Georgia of course. I was hanging out with her at that very moment. How do I not say Georgia? Then that was it. It felt like a rebellion, it felt like my heart cracked right down the middle. It was probably the end of South and me.
August 11, 2017
Sometimes jealousy will get the best of some people. Maybe that’s what happened to HER. South and I had an amazing bond. Until HER. South and I would still be sitting at lunch together, going to each other’s houses and maybe South and I could hang out with HER. But SHE ruined that.
Sometimes people don’t always make the right decision. Which only leaves one to be the bigger person. Though you don’t always have to choose to be that person. I tried, but I wanted to sound like I wasn’t just an object, which was what SHE saw me as.
August 12, 2017
I was spending the night at Georgia’s house when I got a text from her. It was very late, and Georgia had fallen asleep. I read the text, Why didn’t you choose South over Georgia?
The question kept swirling around in my head.
Seriously? Why are u ignoring me
The conversation has actually begun and it goes back and forth for the whole night.
Because I really think South told you to say that
She said to say herself and someone else and that's just who I chose
You don’t even know her
Ya but I know you too hang out a lot and ya I kinda know her since we go to a small school so...ya plus u talk about her all the time
What did I do that could’ve been so bad to deserve this, it wasn’t about HER. I wondered how to reply. But, before I could hit send,
Of course, now u don’t have anything to say and good choice of person…
Well, now I was just mad. Now she had made become a fight sucking in Georgia and I wouldn’t want her in this either. So, I wasn’t done with this yet.
Do you have a problem with her or something?
If SHE was going to defend South I was going to do the same for Georgia.
No I was just thinking South has been your friend since kindergarten and through thick and thin, yes I know it’s just a question but she wanted to know who you would choose.
I started to feel like SHE was thinking of me as the jealous type and I couldn’t think of anything to reply, so I sat for a while, but of course, she wasn't finished.
Now you don’t have anything to say since you know I’m right and I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just trying to open your eyes.
You’ve absolutely got to be kidding me. Trying not to be mean, if anything SHE’s the one who started this and the one that won’t stop it either. I will not stop this until I find out why she tries to put me down all the time.
What is your guy's problem with me, what did I ever truly do to you to make you say such things to me?
What don’t you understand? You hurt South being her bestest friend and ya do you want you to want with your life, but don’t play with South’s emotions because she is the closest thing to me and I don’t want to hurt her anymore. For the past 2 or 3 years, I have put up with you so I could be with South. She is the sweetest and nicest person I’ve ever met and you… I don’t even have words to describe you, you have been nothing but mean and insult and say it’s a joke, not in a jokingly manner. Also at school don’t expect me to be nice to you, because our so-called “friendship” will never be the same. I want you to know that South and I were having a good night, and you went and put her down as usual.
I’m absolutely speechless and I don’t even know what to say. It’s like nobody sees me as a person like I’m just a mannequin getting tortured at a store. When I thought it was over I received one last text before going back to school that week.
You are the bully, and I haven’t done anything bad to you in my life. I don’t want you to forget that you are the biggest bully I have ever met.
I don’t have any words, and I don’t have any clue what I did, and honestly, the worst thing I could do is to leave somebody's life. By ignoring someone for so long they will naturally come running back saying they can’t live without you. I guess I’m just that kind of person people can live without. But I can probably live without them.
August 14, 2017
It was the first day back to school, and it was terrible. My locker was next to HERS! There’s nothing I can do absolutely nothing about it. It will forever haunt my life. Sometimes it’s difficult to avoid all contact, and it also turns out I have every class with her except one. Hopefully, tomorrow is better.
August 17, 2017
I always used to sit with South and her friends, but I’ve finally brought myself to get along with other people. So I found an empty spot. Turns out it was next to Paisley and Avery. The amazing thing was that we all had a great bond. They did all the sports I did too. There was always an empty seat and that day SHE sat by me.
She sat down with that nasty smirk she always had. I have Paisley and Avery crazy eyes, but I wouldn’t let her see that she was bothering me. I tried to eat like normal, but my stomach had butterflies. I hadn’t said anything when she jerked her head toward me and said with innocence, “Oh Millie, is it okay if I sit here?”
“Yeah,” I said nodding my head.
“Actually I don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable,” she said as she got up and walked away.
“What was that about,” Avery asked.
I had no words once again. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t talk without spilling out with tears. It was honestly the worst day I had ever experienced. I couldn’t get it off my mind and I thought about it all day. Every time I thought I teared up.
I was finally home, but I knew I wouldn’t dare tell anyone. I probably wouldn’t ever.
A year later…
Sometimes things are easier when you get them off your chest. Since telling you my story, it’s supposed to make HER feel the pain she made me feel, and now we’ll see if I have put HER to an end.