“Please save her! We can’t lose you, stay Val, we need you,” my mother screamed in the emergent care room, as if she never expected, nor wanted, the words to come out of her mouth. As the the doors swung open, I was being rolled in on the purple gurnee, perfectly matching my clothes and soon the be the color of my face.
Three doctors run around trying to find out how this problem will be fixed, but they had to get more doctors. My mother tells them why I’m in there and what I did to get in here. Overdose. I tried to kill myself, because I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't take her anymore.
You might not believe me when I say that I gave life another chance, but I did, even though when I did, it took everything in me to try my best to stay, you can tell that didn’t work. I saw the pills after months of depression, suffering, bullying, and it felt like this was the only way it would stop, completely. I was so close to not doing it, but she was the reason I did what I did, she was the one that pushed me over the edge and encouraged me to end it all, she wanted me to, she made me believe that it wouldn’t bother anyone, especially her.
It was if I had been too afraid to speak up and tell someone I needed help because she said she would hurt me like she’s done before, countless times everyday. There was no end on this, as I consider, a rollercoaster to… well you know where
Her name is Molly, it suits her well because the meaning of Molly stand for bitterness, not surprising at all to Zack and I. Zack is by very best friend, he helps me with everything, but even though he tried to help me, but I could keep doing all of this it was too much. Don’t get me wrong he helped me, but It couldn’t compare to Molly’s words and actions. Zack’s name means laughter, it’s funny because he makes me laugh and smile everyday.
You may ask what my name means, strength, determination, and courage. Ironic right? My name is Valerie and my story all starts about five months ago, when Molly was already doing all of this to me but then zack had an idea. We could catch her doing it then show someone, we can get it all on video. He gave me a pin that has a hidden camera in it, I couldn’t even spot it, so molly wouldn’t find it. Even though at first I thought it would never work, but we talked and agreed it could and would work out.
“I can’t do it, what if she finds out?” I said, with an almost trembling voice.
“She can’t notice, you can’t, it will just look like a necklace, or like a pin.” Zack assured me.
“You don’t know that!” I said.
“Please trust me, Val she will not know, I promise,” Jack replied.
“Fine. I trust you.”
“I trust you. I promise that I trust you Zack.”
When those words came out of my mouth, his face seemed brighter as if I had told him he won the lottery.
We continued this idea and caught all of the brutal words, actions, and everything in between. Yes we all know that we have flaws but people these days use them against us, in such terrible ways and show them to the world or in my case the school. I used to be friends with Molly, until one day she tried to copy my test and I moved my arm not knowing that she was looking and she thought differently and has hated me ever since. Now, after her doing everything to make me want and feel like I needed to do this, I am in a coma because of my overdose, which was all caused by her.
I keep seeing my story as a chain reaction, but the first reactor always seems to be Molly. The popular, picture perfect, pretty blonde, too cool for you girl, was the humanizing monster. Are you surprised, shocked, as if it was a thunderbolt on a sunny day? I, for one, am not shocker nor surprised, if only I could see why she is doing what she does to me. I had thought that I found a way to stop it all, but it didn’t work.
I failed suicide, it didn’t work, it almost did and it happened for 2 minutes, which felt like an hour. I had coded, I died for 2 minutes then they brought me back. I was so close. I wanted to leave, but I just feels as if God wants me to stay.
My parents had been in the hospital for days with me, they brought my little sister, Cate, whose name means innocent, to see me incase it was the last time. Sadly, she almost saw me at my last moments, she was holding my hand, then randomly I started shaking, then sat dead still, literally. They heard the beeping saying my heart beat was flat, nothing, nonexistent. Zack walked in and saw all of it, so everyone I love, was in that hospital room and they all saw me die.
Doctors rush in again and try to get me back and had to try 3 times and they thought I was gone. They got me back, and I was still here, when I don’t want to be here and don’t want to be alive, this feels neverending. Just let me go! I was still in there for a week and a half, Then my parents went back to our home. I was alone for a day or two, I wanted to be but they needed a break so they can let this sit, make it easier for the family and soon me.
We reach the two weeks mark, the doctors check up on me say hey have no idea when or if I will wake up. My parents haven’t Had anything to eat in 2 days, they need to find something in the cafeteria, and had Cate with them, while zack was still outside my room, most likely starving. I was still sleeping, unconscious, close to death.
Opened. They are open, my eyes are open! No one saw it happen, just me through my eyes, I want to see them all, I know I said I wanted to go, I don’t I want to see my family and Zack, even if I still see Molly. I don’t care, They are what make me stay, I need them for me to stay
I walked out of my room, more like wobbling, as if I was a baby learning how to walk, trying to find them, or anybody. No one is here with me? Where are they? Those are only things that were going on in my head.
I look outside of my room, I see some boy with a green hoodie on, holding my purple Nike jacket, the exact same one I wore when I took all those pills. The boy turns around, I see the face, it’s Zack. He ran over to me and gave me the famous “Zack bear hug” . He had also said stuff that I don’t remember, because I was still loopy and light headed, but we both had smiles from ear to ear.
He put me in a wheelchair and took me to my family where they got to see me with life and standing, not lifeless or sleeping, within seconds they were squeezing me, and they kissed my whole face. By now everyone is crying, but with tears of joys, this is new and I love it. I’ve never been happier my whole life and now, I can go home.
The only thought that was going through my head was that I will never do this again. Molly walked into school and was crying and hugged me, She got shown all of the video that she did to me and admitted that she was a bully. She said that she had told herself thousands of times that she too, would never do what she had done.