The letters

March 24, 2018
By mirakle GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
mirakle GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 2 comments

I walked into my dorm from anger management class high key aggravated. Tonight, we had a homework assignment, like I don’t have a lot of homework by being a college student, we had to write two letters about why were in anger management.  I decided to write my letters to my mom and best friend. I dimed my room lights, lit my stress relief candles, cut on some jazz music and sat at my desk. I cleared my mind and got to work.
Dear mom,
Hey mommy, I miss you so much I can’t wait to come home for the summer. I want you to know I’m innocent, I promise you. The fight wasn’t my fault, so I don’t know why I’m in anger management. There’s nothing wrong with my temper.
Just writing these four sentences were making me hot. None of this would have happened if she kept her hands and smart remarks to herself. I rolled my eyes and continued to write the letter.
Well mom it was a Tuesday morning. I was running late for my math class because I over slept. I was up all night writing an English paper. So, when I woke up I only had 10 minutes before class started. I brushed my teeth, pulled my hair into a messy bun, and threw on sweatpants a hoodie and Nike slides.
Since I was late to class I didn’t walk my normal way to class. Normally I’ll walk through the Quad. The Quad is the life of the campus, it’s always packed no matter what time it is. I feel safe walking that way instead of walking the side walkways (which is kind of dark and mostly empty). Because I only had nine minutes to get to class I didn’t have time to push through the crowd of people. Which normally takes me 20 minutes, because of course I get distracted socializing and listening to the music. So, I took the side walkway.
I was speed walking with my headphones in listening to gospel music minding my own business. In all honesty my mind was somewhere else. But I was interrupted by laughter. At first, I ignored it, but then the laughter continued. And I almost tripped on a foot. I looked at who attempted to trip me, and it was one of them. By one of them I mean one of Aysia’s girls. You remember Aysia right? My enemy, since the fifth grade.
Aysia and I used to be best friends, but when I got student of the month instead of her, she hated me.
Because I was late, I just rolled my eyes and kept walking. I got to class just in time and sat in the back of the class.
Mrs. L put a math problem on the board, and I felt confident, so I went up to solve it. I guess while my back was turned Aysia and her crew came in.
  I turned around to explain the problem she was magically there, but that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was while I explained the problem she kept talking and laughing loudly. I brushed it off and went to my seat. Guess what: she was sitting behind me.
I gave her three strikes. Strike number one was when she “accidently” dropped her books on me. Strike number two was when she “accidently” spit on the back of my neck. Ew I can still feel the moisture on my neck. Finally strike number three the LAST strike was when she hit me. “There was a fly on you” Aysia said laughing. I closed my eyes and counted to three just like you told me to do when I’m upset.
In all honesty counting to three didn’t help me in that situation. Normally it would calm me down but that time it made me get hyped. My adrenaline kicked in again.
I turned around and said, “Hit me again and were going to have a problem”. She looked at her friends and laughed then placed a finger on me.
I don’t know what happened mommy, I just clicked. The only thing I remember is grabbing Aysia’s hair and pulling her across the row of chairs. I didn’t know I had that much strength inside of me. While I was punching her, I head a cracking noise and I stopped. The security guard came and pulled me off her then escorted me to my dorm. I sat in the middle of my room and boo-hoo cried.
Maybe I do need anger management. I could have really hurt Aysia. I could be in jail right now. I wouldn’t last a minute in jail. I’m too smart, and too cute
Honestly, I was scared the police was on the way to get me. I thought I was going to lose my scholarship, and I didn’t want to disappoint you. This was my first fight, I didn’t plan on getting in a fight. I always prayed not to get in a fight.
I ended the letter to my mom folded, put it in the envelope, addressed the envelope, and sprayed it lightly with perfume. I looked at the time and decided to write the next letter to my best friend. Now that I’m thinking about it she’s not a really good friend.
Dear Bestie,
Hey girly. I know you’ve seen the videos of the fight by now.
She still hasn’t responded to any of my messages.
And I know you’re proud of me.
Honestly, I don’t care if she’s proud of me or nothing. I could’ve lost my scholarship and went to jail, all because I want to be cool and prove something to her.
But I want to start off by saying my freaking hand hurts and I broke two dang nails because of that stupid man. I really hope she’s okay I don’t want to get arrested and lose my scholarship.
I did reach out to Aysia’s mom. She told me Aysia is doing alright. I also asked for forgiveness.
I hope she learned her lesson though, if not I’ll gladly do it again. I never knew fighting felt so good. I released a lot of anger on that girl.
I really won’t fight her or anybody else. I just had to sound hard for my bestie. Fighting isn’t for me, it’s too painful and risky.
Okay on the day of the fight (Tuesday morning) I woke up late because I was hung over from the party last night, thanks to you. I got dressed in one of my tight pink sweat suits, (just because I’m looking bummy doesn’t mean I have to look bummy) and Nike slides. I put my hair in a messy bun and left. I didn’t walk through the Quad which is why you didn’t see me in the morning.
She probably didn’t notice I wasn’t there. I was always chasing her. But not anymore, I’m done with her.
I took the side walkway to save some time. I was speed walking with my beats on blasting rap music. While I was walking some idiot tried to trip me. It was one of Aysia’s dummies. They’re so freaking brainless I swear they’ll jump off a bridge if she tells them to. I paused my music and mean mugged them. The silly fools didn’t get the hint and kept talking and laughing. So, I took my headphones off and gave them a piece of my mind. My mouth was so dirty I can’t write down exactly what I said.
I washed my mouth out with soap that night.
But know they were speechless. I put my headphones back on and continued to class. I got there just in time, but Mrs. L had to be a female dog.
She made me do this long ass problem on the board and explain it. I knew Aysia and her dogs came in cause the room started to smell like fish, burnt hair, and stank feet. While I was explaining the problem Aysia decided to be rude. She was talking loudly, and you know how a man voice carries and her donkey laugh was getting irritating.
I politely said, “donkeys can you and your master please behave or leave the class”. Everybody started laughing but I was so serious.
I really wasn’t serious; I was surprised I said it in front of everybody.
Mrs. L made me go sit down. She can be so petty at times.
Aysia and her monkeys were sitting behind me. They continued to talk loudly and “accidently” drop shit on me and hit me. I jumped up and grabbed Aysia’s crusty track and pulled her over the row of chairs. Of course, she tried to fight back but she didn’t have a chance.
Aysia was actually whooping my ass before everybody starting recording. It was a good fight I can’t lie. Well I don’t know what a good fight is but whatever.
Everybody started recording which hyped me up. I kept punching and kicking her. Then officer P came in and picked me up off her. While they were holding me back little baby decided she wanted to boss up and start talking trash, so I tried to escape from officer P grip. But I couldn’t so I just smiled.
Officer P walked me to my room, and of course he tried to come in, but that right there ain’t happen lol. I sat in my dorm and waited for my punishment. I even waited for you to come over or at least text me, but you didn’t.
I looked at the time and realized it was one in the morning. I ended the letter to my bestie and put it in an envelope. I laid in bed on my back. Soft jazz music filled my ears. My breathing matched the beat of the soft drums. The strong eucalyptus scent from my stress reliever candle danced in my nose. My mind started to wonder. I rolled over on to my stomach, laying my head on my left forearm. Tears dropped onto my arm. Warm and moist. They were unusual sizes, with a different texture. Some too big some small, some perfect so not. Some tears held my friendships, the good ones and the bad. I saw all the lies I’ve told my mom and my “friends”. I saw myself dragging Aysia. More tears fell down my face. I stood up and slowly walked to my mirror. There was a monster looking back at me. She had red eyes, dried tear stains on her cheek. I need anger management.

 



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