“Just pretend we’re talking until the cops leave…” I heard my coworker, Creed, softly whisper.

It is my first day at the Dunder Mifflin Paper Supply in Scranton, as the new receptionist. I recently got off the phone with the branch manager, Michael Scott, who told me how terribly awful our HR rep, Toby, is. If what I remember is correct, Michael called Toby a lemon head, a waste of a life, an evil snail, a jerky-jerk face, a silent killer, and an idiot. I could tell right away that there will never be a boring day at the office.

The second I walked through the door, all heck was breaking loose. One of the guys in sales, I think his name is Dwayne or Dwight or something like that, was standing on top of his desk yelling about something that his desk partner Jim did.

“That a safety violation! I could fall and pierce an organ, Jim…….. Michael!!” Dwight screamed.

Jim held his fingers up to Dwight, so that he could see they were crossed.

Dwight went into Michael’s office to file another formal complaint on his coworker, Jim. Michael has heard it all before, “Jim did this.” “Jim did that.” It had gotten quite old, I am sure. I would not be surprised if Dwight’s complaints start getting forwarded to me to deal with.
Later that afternoon, Michael decided we needed to throw a party for one of the ladies that works in accounting. I think her name is Angela and it was either her birthday or her cat’s birthday, I’m not really sure. I got put on the party planning committee with Phyllis. We agreed on having blue balloons, a chocolate cake, and pink streamers. Phyllis was planning on making watermelon Kool-aid and I was going to bake the cake.

At the time of the party, everyone was in a great mood. All the employees could not wait for the cake I made. Kevin, a guy from accounting, was especially excited. Creed was in charge of the music for about two minutes, but got demoted after the first death metal song. He is so strange. He thinks he works at a dog food company, he prints fake IDs out of the machine he stole from the sheriff’s office, and he shared that he was involved in a number of cults, as a leader and as a follower. Nobody pays much attention to him, though.

As the party continued, I got to meet a lot of the employees at Dunder Mifflin. I also think I now know a lot more about these people than I originally wanted to. Oscar, at accounting, is gay. Toby, the HR rep, is divorced. Meredith, at supplier relations, is a struggling alcoholic. Dwight, at sales, is a beet farmer. Kevin, at accounting, struggles with obesity and mental deficits. Jim, however, is someone I could get to know a little better. During the whole party, he kept pranking Dwight. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. Not to mention, the smile that Jim had the entire time. So dreamy.
Once the party ended, Meredith invited us all out to drinks. Of course we all agreed and decided to go with her. All I could think about is spending even more with Jim. Our desks face each other and they are relatively close, but it just does not seem like enough.

When we got to the bar, we all sat around this circular booth. Jim next to me, I was next to Phyllis, Phyllis next to Dwight, Dwight next to Angela, Angela next to Meredith, Meredith next to Creed, Creed next to Oscar, Oscar next to Kevin, and Kevin next to Michael. We decided to order a few appetizers and drinks. It was a great night and I think we all enjoyed ourselves.

The next day at work was quite an interesting one. Michael hit Meredith with his car. The thing about it is, he complains about speed bumps on the highway all the time. I wonder who he runs over then. Anyway, Meredith got taken to the ambulance and we all carried on with our day like normal. During lunch, Jim, Michael, Dwight, Creed, Angela, and I went to visit Meredith and see how she was doing.

When we got there, Dwight tried to pull her plug, Michael demanded forgiveness, and Creed tried to swipe some of her pain medications. I knew we should probably leave. On our way out, Michael stopped Meredith’s doctor and asked a few questions. It turns out, she was getting treated for rabies due to the one time Dwight tried capturing a bat in the Annex at the office and had it bagged over Meredith’s head. Michael thought that by hitting Meredith with his car, he saved her life because if he didn’t do that, she would not be in the hospital right now getting treated for rabies. He has an interesting perspective on things.
When we all got back to the office it was about time for us all to go home. I never got to spend much time with Jim today and thought about asking him out to dinner. Thankfully, I did not have to put myself through the embarrassment of something like that because he ended up asking me to grab a bite to eat with him. Not a bad day at all. I will definitely be keeping this job for awhile. Even with the extreme chaos and unending havoc in this office, I love it here. It just feels like home. Like Creed so eloquently told me, “Human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home.” This office is my home.