Hansford Stanford and the Tap Dancing C***roaches
As a kid, Hansford Stanford was passionate about one thing more than anything else. He loved c***roaches, and he always had some sort of magical way with them. All the other kids in middle school made fun of him, but he didn’t care. He knew his c***roaches were waiting for him at home. He would teach them small tricks like rolling over and spinning around. He was always satisfied when he was with his c***roaches.
Hansford smiled as he thought about his past. Now an adult, he was moving into his own apartment. He had found an old envelope of photos in a box he had set down. The pictures were of him as a child. He always looked way happier with his c***roaches. Setting down the pictures, he decided it was time to make his life full again; he was going to start another c***roach collection.
One week later, Hansford looked at his job well done. He had built a habitat and filled it with ten c***roaches he found around the nearby woods and park. The c***roaches seemed confused but quickly settled into their new home. He let one crawl on to his finger and looked at it. They were just as perfect as he remembered them. Excitedly, he took out all the c***roaches and set them on a table. They all looked at him, clearly interested. He pulled out a piece of candy and held it above them. They began jumping around wildly, almost appearing to dance. After letting them jump around for a while, he fed them their candy. Curious if they would do it again, he held the candy above them. Again, they started to jump around and dance. Hansford had an idea.
When he was a kid, he used to tap dance. Although the passion didn’t hold long, he still thought it was really cool. The way the c***roaches danced for the candy reminded him of his past days tap dancing. He decided he would test himself with the ultimate trial: He would teach these c***roaches how to dance.
The shoemaker looked at him like he was crazy. Hansford had just ordered sixty, millimeter sized tap dancing shoes. But the shoe maker could see the passion Hansford felt for this, and even more importantly, the money Hansford was willing to give him. Putting the money in his pocket, the shoemaker got to work.
The c***roaches seemed to like their new shoes. After letting them walk around for a while in the shoes, he sat them down in front of a TV and played some old tapes of him tap dancing. To his surprise, the c***roaches actually seemed to be paying attention to the TV and trying it out for themselves a little bit. Hansford’s face lit up. He was actually going to teach c***roaches how to tap dance.
Day in and day out they practiced. Hansford would give them candy whenever they danced successfully and would sometimes join in with them. They would watch tap dancing videos every night before they went to sleep. He had never felt so much joy since he was a kid.
After months of practice, he decided to put on a show. After it’s success, his name spread like wildfire. The people called him the c***roach king. He began making more money from his shows than he knew what to do with. He thought about his middle school bullies and the shoemaker and smirked. He knew that he was more successful than any of them with his tap dancing c***roaches.