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All I Want
The rain fell across Kole’s head as his whole world watched him walk away from the front door. Adaline shut the door, and returned to her bathroom. Staring at herself in the mirror she came to the conclusion that it was over, and she was tired. Her footsteps creaked over the old wooden floorboards as she shuffled into her bedroom and collapsed onto her mattress. As she enveloped herself in her blankets and decided it was time to accept the scenario around her, Kole was somewhere else.
Standing in the pouring rain Kole entered a state of hopelessness that controlled every move that came next. He looked into the window of the beat up Volkswagen preceding him, the one that was not his, and he saw the keys. They were just dangling there. So Kole got in the car a drove away. In the pouring rain it’s hard to see; and Kole stopped the car, but not with the breaks, and then there was smoke.
Waking up. The phone was ringing at dusk and a melancholy wave of emotion hit Adaline like a ton of bricks. She answered the phone and only heard some of what was said. Something about emergency contact…
accident… at the hospital now… critical. Immediately Adaline knew Kole had left her, now in two ways. He had left her that night when he walked out the door, and now he was going to leave her for good.
At the hospital Kole was in pain, nearly unconscious, but he saw her, and knew everything would be okay even if he let go, so he did. As Adaline’s cry came out, it matched the pitch of the monitor connected to his heart flatlining.
There were tears, and mourning, and then there was anger. If he loved her then why did he leave her that night? The sun came up that morning, as the same light from Kole’s eyes faded away. Walking away from her, with the rain pouring down his hair, to his face, down his army green jacket, shining his old Adidas was the last memory she would have of him. The last recollection where she was able to say, “I love you,” and hear him return the phrase. Adaline just wanted one more chance.
All Adaline wanted was absolutely nothing more than that second chance. The second chance to hear Kole approach her doorstep, his shoes crunching the gravel up her walkway, and hear those three distinct knocks at her door. She would have opened it and everything would have been fair, but of course nothing is that simple, and nothing is eternal.
If only she could see his face once more. Hold it in her hands one last time and say that everything was going to be alright. That fighting was useless, for they needn't not go through the pain when they know that in the end the maelstrom would pass. This one did not, but Adaline wanted a more desirable ending. For the end to be right. Then she could have accepted their conclusion.
That night when Kole said his last goodbye, a small piece of Adaline died with him. Lying in that hospital bed Kole was sorry, because he knew his fate, but lying alone in her bed, without Kole by her side left Adaline in tears that ran down her face like the slow drip of a leaky faucet that can never be repaired.
He was her world, and she was his, and that night a nuclear explosion erupted. A meteor hit, and fire enveloped her world. Although she loved him, and he loved her, it was over, and Kole had left– this time everlastingly.
The mischievous smile of Kole brought out the best parts of Adaline; even some things that she had never seen before. That night he took that part of her soul and completely wiped it clean. They had something that was only found on a movie screen. Their story was so real, and true; but wonderful, and there should have been applause when the credits rolled around after their happy ending. But, Kole and Adaline would never receive that denouement.
Something that Adaline would never understand was why Kole left that night in the first place. Why he walked out of her house when they were both upset. Why he would go into a car in the pouring rain that he had never driven before. It didn’t belong to him. It was not his car to take, and it was not only his life he was taking. All of these thoughts left Adaline hurt, but the one that killed her was the fact that he saw her in the white room with the heart monitor, and let it sing as he closed his eyes. She would never understand that it was not a sign of giving up, but a sign of moving on. No one would replace Kole. The ship of Kodaline had sunk, but would never be unrecognizable.