Nina's Kindness

January 25, 2018
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“Hey hon, how was your first day?” “Hey mom, and it was pretty good...I mean I tried to be kind and give a good impression to everyone about myself.” “That’s good honey, remember just be you and if people don’t like it, still just keep being yourself.” “Thanks for the advice mom, it really does help me….I am going to go work on homework okay.” “Okay Nina you go do that, I’ll call you when dinner is ready.” My name is Nina Smith, and I am a ninth grader at Oakland High School in Tacoma, Washington. My mother and I had just moved to Tacoma about three weeks ago from Simi Valley, California. When I found out we were going to move I got quite sad and gloomy because I was going to have to leave my friends, and some family and even our house! At the same time I got happy and excited because I was going to meet new people, new city, new state, new stores, and new restaurants! Up to this date I am happy with the decision my mom and I made...I only say my mom and I because I am an only child and my dad left my mom when I was three years old. Up to now I still don’t know who my real father is… sad but true. Anyways, I thought my new school was pretty good, I really like the way the staff treats new students… they treated me like a princess. I didn’t really make new friends today. The students there seem kind of antisocial, or just not really good at making friends. Hopefully tomorrow I can make some friends, and talk to some people.

So, today is Tuesday and hopefully like I said, I can make new friends today because I feel kind of lonely at school. When I walked in to first period which for me is History class, I smiled at everyone but there was this group of three girls who just, laughed at me. When I saw that I just put my head down and told myself to be me, be me, be me, repeatedly in my head I told myself. So as I walked to my seat and put my bag down, I walked over to their group and said, “Hi guys, my name is Nina, what are your guys names?” Only one group responded and said, “My name is Bridget, she is Camila, and she is Karen.” I responded back kindly and said, “Well hello, I hope we can be good friends, you guys are all so pretty!” They laughed and concededly said thank you. The bell rang after and Mr. Conrad (my teacher) told everyone to take our seats. Everyone took their seats and I sat way in the back where most people like to sit. After about an hour and a half of history class the bell rang again and we were dismissed. I went up to the group of girls and I said, “Hey guys so I’ll see you around!” with a smile on my face. Bridget looked at me up and down and said, “Yeah, sure.” then pushed me and knocked my book out of my hand. I quickly got my book and walked out of class to my locker and while I was walking I was thinking...why is my kindness all going to the trash?

The first week in my new school was very rough,... on the grades aspect it was pretty good, but on the social aspect it was pretty bad. It was as if some people accepted my kindness, but other people didn’t. I’m not saying everyone has to accept it, but I’m trying to say that people shouldn't bully people because of it. I have to admit, the fact that I am being bullied because of my kindness is tearing me down...I feel like there’s holes in my heart because I’ve realized that this world has a lack of kind people. I am trying to keep fighting the good fight everyday and hoping that maybe I can make a difference in this world. It was Monday again, which meant a new day of school, and I am not looking forward to this day. My mom keeps asking me what is wrong with me and if I am okay, I keep telling her I am fine and that there is nothing wrong, but only I know what is going on in my head. I arrived to school and I went to my locker and when I opened it to get my books this group of guys passed by and were pointing at me calling me Miss Perfect and they kept yelling out loud, “Hey everyone! This is the girl who tries to make the world perfect but just messes it up even more!” As the guys passed by they were calling me loser and using inappropriate profanity. My eyes were filled with tears and I felt so done with life, I felt as if my heart melted with sadness and anger and I did at that time was close my locker and run out of the school. I walked home and when I got there I went up to my room, put the pillow on my face and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. What hurt me even most was that this has been going on for a while now and I haven’t done anything to stop it. During my sobbing hours, a bunch of different thoughts were going through my mind… like, what is the reason of living anymore if no one appreciates me. At that moment all I wanted to do was cry and sleep, cry and sleep, and I had gone to sleep for a while when my mom came home and asked me what was wrong. “Honey! Are you okay? Why are you crying?” “Nothing is wrong mom it’s just that I tried really hard on a math test but I failed and it was a 100 points, and my grades are slowly going down.” Of course I had to lie to her because I didn’t want her to find out about anything or else she would make a big deal about it lie any other mother. “Oh honey, well that’s okay, just keep putting in more effort and you will succeed. I have 8 to notify you of something Nina...So tomorrow they have called me to go to Simi Valley again because there are a few emergencies and cases I need to take care of. I will be leaving tomorrow but coming back on Next Wednesday, I want you to take care and call me if you need me. It will pass by fast I promise.” “Okay mom it’s fine.” As she rapped up the talk she kissed me goodnight nmand walked out of the room. I woke up the next morning and my mom was already gone but yet I was still in that depression stage, I felt like I was in a prison and I can’t get out.

So Friday came and I haven’t gone to school this whole week… I have lost weight and I have spent this whole week locked in my room and thinking about how I am useless and worthless but at the same time how I am kind and valuable...but it’s more negative thoughts than positive thoughts. In the middle of my thinking today I had received a call from one of cousins and we were talking for quite a while, and I told her what has been happening to my life lately. She gave only one advice, which was for me to come to Jesus. I told her I didn’t really know how to do that, and she told me to kneel down and just talk to God and ask him to help me. I said okay and so this night I kneeled down and was talking to him.. Jesus and I told him my condition and asked him for help. My mom came back today (Wednesday) and I haven’t gone to school at all yet. But I have to admit ever since I kneeled down that night to talk to God I have been feeling better everyday. I found a church to go too in Tacoma and they prayed for me and I felt even more better, but then I asked them for advice and they told me that I needed to learn how to forgive those who hurt me. I was really thinking about that and all I do is kneel down and ask God to help me forgive and love those who hurt me.

Friday came and I feel so free from sadness, now I feel so happy and grateful and I’ve decided to forgive those who have hurt me… so today I am going to do something. I entered the school doors and saw everyone different. I saw everyone with love and I didn’t feel any hate towards anyone. I was praying in my head and telling God that I put everything in his hands and for him to do the job, and while I was praying something absolutely amazing happened. Bridget, Camila, and Karen had come up to me and Bridget began tearing up and said, “Nina, something told me that I need to do this and so I will...I want to say forgive for everything I’ve done to you that hurt you and really forgive me.” Bridget was crying and Camila and Karen were doing to same thing. I hugged them and said “You guys, I forgive you..Jesus taught me how to forgive and so I forgive you.” The all three of them said thank you about one-thousand times and then they asked, “Did Jesus teach you how to be kind too?” I responded with a yes and ever since that happened, the three girls keep constantly asking me to teach them about Jesus and his word, and so I am grateful that my kindness can really make a difference in the world.

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