College Struggle

January 1, 2018
By MountEverest GOLD, Fort Worth, Texas
MountEverest GOLD, Fort Worth, Texas
17 articles 2 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs
...
Than in the perfumed chambers of the great,
Under the canopies of costly state,
And lulled with sound of sweetest melody?" By William Shakespeare


I feel the pressure. The second hand on the clock stares at me with a mocking grin, you’ll never make it you loser. I know there’s a chance I won’t. I turn back to the paper filled with symbols and numbers that make no sense to me. I stare intently, hoping that the answer will jump out at me. I copy important looking numbers and hope that somehow the problem will solve itself. I look up quickly at the clock, time’s running out stupid. I glance down again. I make a few more scribbles with the last hope I have. My anger comes out as I tap my pencil ferociously on the small lecture hall desk. I peek at the clock again, 10 more minutes why didn’t you study more? I flip through the test expecting to find solutions printed on the pages. With no hope, I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lip hard. There was nothing left for me to do. I look around the hall and see everyone with their heads down, intensely scribbling. I feel the urge to cry, but I hold it in. I look up again at the clock, just turn it in there’s nothing else you can do idiot. I let out a sigh. The dim lighting in the lecture hall gives me an ironic sense of peace. I grab my black coat and slip my pencil in the pocket and flip the desk back into place. I sigh again and make my way to the front of the room and hand in my future. I smile bleakly to the test proctor and say thanks as I head out of the hall. Pulling my coat on, I quickly walk down the hall towards the nearest exit. I open the door and a blast of freezing air whips my face. I want to scream. I want to pound my head into a mound of snow. I walk towards the gardens where I know I’ll be alone with my thoughts. I wind my way down and settle on a small bench covered with snow. My coat covers my bottom as I sit sadly. I never knew college would be this hard. In high school, I was the smartest girl. Here, I’m just average. I can barely pass my exams. Why didn’t I study more? I should have asked more questions. I should have… I should have… Why didn’t I… I could’ve… These thoughts filled my mind. I held my head in my hands and I cried. No one told me this would happen in college.


The author's comments:

I hope people can relate.


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