Two years ago my self esteem was shattered. What started off as a normal day became a day I wished I had never gone to gymnastics. My Dad had dropped me off at five thirty like he does everyday, and I walked into the gym with a tired expression on my drooping face. I put my load of stuff down in a cubby and went to warm up. Then I saw my two friends who happen to be boys and abandoned class like I do every day to hang out with them. After being yelled at for, like, twenty minutes, I went back to class and sighed heavily. It was on this day at gym I found out about a pool party that everyone was invited to, but I wasn't.
I felt like the girls on my team never really took the time to get to know me. I think that you should take the time to get to know someone before judging them. I’ll never forget when I saw them talking about the party. A few girls were standing in a demented circle by the cubby when I walked by. I heard one of them say “OMG, did you see Sara's new swim suit? She said she was like, totes, gonna wear it to the pool party.”
This was the first I had heard of the pool party so I stuck around only to hear another girl say, “This party is gonna be so cool, I can’t believe everyone is invited. It’s September 12 right?”
Then another said “Yah, and the whole team is going.”
I was wondering why nobody had told me; I noticed that they all had their backs toward me and looked at me for a second, then turned away. I didn’t think much of it at the time. I was very excited hearing that because a pool party meant swimming, snacks, and more. I assumed I would be invited because I was on the team too.
So September 12th had arrived and I awoke excitedly.“The pool party is today!” I said to myself. After considering that I plumped back down face first because it was, as I remember thinking, “It’s like, seven a.m., and a weekend. No way I’m waking up now.”
I don’t remember when I woke up, I just know it was much later. I stumbled down the stairs and ate breakfast. As my dad came down stairs, I asked him “What time is the pool party?”(This is where things get unrealistic.)
My dad came into the room I was in and said “What pool party?”
All of a sudden, I felt my soul wishing to escape from its current method of existence. I could feel myself falling into a cold dark endless void. My heart was filled with an awful sensation. My legs gave way and I collapsed to the floor in agony. “Nooooooo!” I hollered quietly for fear I might disturb someone. I don’t get invited to many parties;I got very excited when I thought I would be going to this one.
When September 13th had arrived, I was devastated. I knew people at the gym were never really my friends, but I didn’t think they would leave me out of this. I knew my first impressions aren’t the best. I become very shy and nervous because I want people to like me. All I could think about was joyful expressions on their faces. The light hearted tone of their merry conversations. How my face turned red and my heart started pounding. I knew they did not want me in their conversation because when I got close they quickly and hesitantly changed the subject.
I had never felt so left out.
I never knew why these girls hadn’t been my friends. All I know is they judged me too soon. All of my friendships are with people who really took the time to get to know me. I realized that first impressions don’t fully describe someone. There might be more underneath. I believe that you should never judge someone without getting to know them for who they truly are, both inside, outside and all the way through. This is how I live my life, and how I always will.
Even though the heart shattering pain was two years ago, I can still feel it today.