I shut my eyes, begging my mind to shut up so I could sleep. For a while it goes blank, until the blank becomes my loneliness. It's useless. Once this starts there's no chance I'll be able to get to sleep on my own. I roll over to look at those evil, red numbers that mark the long sleepless hours of the night. 2:31 turns into 2:36 before I realize I had been letting my mind search through the drawer in my head labeled “Keep Closed”. Giving up, I reach under my bed for the sleeping pills I stole from my mom, take one and wait for it to slowly take me into the dark, comforting world of sleep. While waiting for the darkness, I can't help but think about my mom. She's always trying to make me look better. It's as if the way I am isn't good enough, even if I did everything she said, it wouldn't be enough. Does she care? Tears swell up, but before I start to cry, the sleeping pills take action and I slowly drift off.

My alarm starts screeching four hours later, and I stumble out of bed to head to the shower. After showering and getting ready, I log onto my computer and decide to chat with a few people to warm up my fake smiles and cold laughs I shove through at school. The me that is at home isn't exactly the same me that is at school. At school I shut the door leading to my problems and forget my home life. It makes things so much easier.

The doorbell rings and I head downstairs. Like usual it's Scarlet, my best friend. She comes every morning to take me to school. She is my party friend, the one who takes me home when I'm too drunk to realize what I'm about to do next. Always stays over night to make sure I don't choke on my own vomit in the middle of the night. Without her who knows what I would be getting myself into all the time.

“Hey Lacey,you ready to go?” she asks.

“Yep.” I say as I grab my bag and check myself in the mirror before walking out the door and heading to her car, to face my high school peers with fake conversation and immature teenage drama.