The Queen Who Lost Her Crown

November 14, 2017
Everybody seems to question my solidarity; however, when I question as to why they care so much, there's really no direct answer. When they don't give me that solid answer, I begin to question myself.

It's never really all about my solidarity. There's much more to me than my solidarity. I begin to question my being, my very own life, my situations, my experiences, everything. Anything that comes to my mind, I begin to question.

For example, I finally made a friend.

This friend is unlike any other friend, he actually listens and he grasps onto my diction as of it truly matters. The witty unpredictable humor ignites between the both of us, I begin to see a side of me I never even knew existed.

There's always a smile painted exquisitely across my face in gold and it's labeled to be worth more than the Mona Lisa. People see a smile that ignites their souls with joy and passion for someone they wish they could know.

And then, at the end of the day, I go home and I look in the mirror and I wonder. I wonder if my smile is as precious and heavenly as everyone seems to proclaim. When they laugh, I think tend to think someone's lying.

There's always those people who lie and heavily criticize. Understanding that I could be living in this make believe of a life I always dreamed of, my walls go high and I question my new friendship.

I question the amount of time I have left till this friend I seem to have sees through my flaws.

I question whether this friend will believe the lies I'm constantly surrounded by.

I question whether this friend will stay.

For me, no one ever seems to stay.

Something always seems to get in the way.

How long will anything stay? How many days do I have left till this pain withers away? How many more hours do I have to spend throwing pennies into wells hoping that someone will change their mind and stay? When will I finally be able to feel relieved of the pain that pierced my heart.





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