A Man

July 27, 2017
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A baby. Fresh to this chaotic world. Cradled by his parents that hope to protect it from the cruelty of this world. For a moment, just a moment, all seems pure. All seems peaceful, simple, and happy. But this is the beginning of the end.

A toddler. His first exposure to other humans besides mother and father. Still full of mom’s comforting milk and care. Pre-school. The beginning of joyful friendships. The world is still simple. But then Jake refuses to play with him. And then Sally doesn’t like him back. The first emotions. Real feelings. His heart is still pure. Pure and warm and bright, despite these pangs of seemingly small heartbreaks.

A child. First grade. A new environment. He matured a bit. He now understands that there are people that we cannot get along with. The world is still big, but he can somewhat grasp the idea of it. School. Where education is limited to certain standards. He feels happy yet at the same time, sad. Drips of hatred and sadness start to fill his cup. He wants to show his talents, imagination, and complex world inside his beautiful mind. But the teachers put a limit to his imagination and keep drilling and drilling. His mind and heart begin to shrink. The light flickers.

A preteen. He claims to know the world. What is right or wrong. Mother and father have taught him how to live. Teachers taught him how to learn. He has a crush on Julie. The Julie that sits across the room in first period. He learns how to fall in love. He confronts her. But is rejected. Heartache starts to sink in. He does not know what he is feeling. He is confused. How could such a small rejection, a small dismissal, a large inconvenience, be such pain to him. He shrugs it off. Sits his face in front of a screen and ignores his feelings. Life should be fun he said. Fun.

A teen. Puberty. Ignorance. Frustration. Stubbornness. But above all, confusion. He feels lonely. Life feels like it’s crashing. School is the same. Teachers drilling in useless information. Why not teach how to deal with bullies. How to deal with girls. How to deal with life itself. He knows he has his friends. But his soul is draining. He is angry. The world is weighing him down. Politics, drama, war, violence. Everyday, his chest is weighed down a bit more with the rampaging thoughts of Charlie's looks, Sam’s football skills, and David’s intelligence. Jealously. He tries to understand it, but the earth just keeps spinning and spinning, never stopping for him to catch up. Chaos. College is coming. Why should he care? His parents don’t fully understand. Yes, they were once teens. But they weren’t teens in a hateful, corrupted, judgemental, cyber-bullying, racist, violent, ignorant, stereotypical, sexist, hypocritical and blinded society. The world becomes clear to him. And it overwhelms his heart. So much hatred. So much. But than the world becomes unclear. He doesn’t know what to do. What to think. How to act. He wants to withdraw completely. Die even. But what stops him from dying? Fear. So, he finds a scrap of motivation from the good left in the world. He grasps for the light in these hormonal, confusing, desperate times of his story. He holds on. Just for the sake of it.

An adult. School and education are the main focus now. Study hard, and you will be rewarded, well is what they say. He follows along with everyone else, too scared to go the wrong way and
risk being lost. Society trudges along in a uniformed path. Political leaders dictate, professors drill, Kardashians live and people move on with their tasteless lives. He finds love. He is careful though. Love hurts and has hurt. Is she the one? Sex. Adult life comes with responsibilities. Bills, job searching, and choosing politics or ignorance. He doesn’t pay attention to the war and hate protests surrounding him. His one of many mistakes he has made.

A man. He has now experienced everything, or so he says. Men are men. Strong, sturdy, mature. But still, lack that ability to see. To do what they think is right. War fills this world. They wonder where it comes from. Well, it was always been there. Ever since he was in the womb. War and violence and hate have always been here. Love starts to fade, as hate starts to fill his mind. Hate for a certain religion. Hate for politics. Hate for even his neighbor. He takes the responsibility of becoming a father, a role model, but is poisoned from the beginning. The poison. More like venom. His venom spreads to his kin. He raises a monster. Which is man. We ignore God, and everything suffering. All talk, but no do. He is a hypocrite. Sunday worship -- love others, and forgive each other's sins, peace be with you, more like I’m going to say this once because Father Nathan said to and never mean it-- becomes a habit of saying, and never truly takes over his actions. Man is so ignorant and stubborn. Men are men. Strong, sturdy, mature, but blind.

An elder. Wise. But is dumb. His kid's kids are infected with that same venom. That same venom that started ever since Eve bit into that damned apple. The venom never leaves. Stupid. Death.

The end.






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