She’s not the same person I used to dream about, she’s someone completely different. Her eyes don’t shine anymore, it’s as though someone stole them from her. In a way it’s my fault for letting it get this way, because in my head I thought I could handle it, in my head I thought I was doing everything right. The truth is I am lost, and I am drowning with her, and there is no one here to pull us back up to the surface. In certain moments I think we can make it through and finally be okay, but then the chains that are suffocating our bodies pull us back down. So I don’t know where to go from here, and the scariest part of all this, is that we will be stuck in this place that seems to be never ending.
July 6, 2017