I Found a Reason | Teen Ink

I Found a Reason

May 3, 2017
By readerwriter1999 BRONZE, Morris, Illinois
readerwriter1999 BRONZE, Morris, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take."


10/18/15
It started off as a regular day. Going to school, going to the park, doing my homework, then going back to the home. I live in an orphanage. I'm 16, my name is Tyler Russ, and I am known for being charming and slick, as well as ruggedly handsome. I have a slight tendency to get in a lot of trouble at school. I used to play football, but then I lost my job, and wasn't able to pay for it anymore. My birthday is October 18th, and I was born in ‘99. My parents died when I was 6, and I went into a home as soon as the government found out. I've been in and out of foster homes for 10 years, and I just can't seem to find one that sticks with me for the long run. But nobody's going to want a 16 year old in their house. But oh well, I guess I have to deal with being in here until I turn 18, or until I graduate high school. My guidance counselor told me it would be good for me to write down my feelings. I feel like I'm alone in this world. I feel as if I shouldn't be here. I'm just a waste of space. I was told that I have depression. I just feel like if I died right now that no one would miss me. I'm just here for no reason. Oh well... It's lights out in 5 minutes, I guess I have to go to bed soon. I wish I won't wake up in the morning. Night.
Tyler R
~~~~~
11/18/15
One month later, I'm still in the orphanage, wanting to die. But wait, something happened today that I would like to share with you. People came in today. People come in every day, but today was special. When I got home from school today people met me. I had just walked in the door, and they ran into me as I was going into the room. "Hi. We're the Smiths" these people say to me as I look at them, checking them out as I smile softly. She touches my arm softly as he shakes my hand tightly. She had straight brown hair, blue eyes, and she had a soft voice. He was different. He had shaggy, dirty blonde hair, grey eyes, and a husky voice. She was nice, and her touch was gentle, like an angel. His was firm and tough.
"Hi. I'm Tyler" I reply to them as I look around now.
"Hi Tyler. We wanted to get to know you for a bit if that's okay. We were thinking about adopting someone your age, and we were told that you were the only one here that is your age. So would you like to come live with us for a few weeks to see if you would like it with us? You wouldn't even have to change schools."
"Sure. Are we leaving now? Do I have time to grab my things?"
"No, we're not leaving now, so of course you have time to grab your things."
"Thanks. I'll be right back." I run to go grab my things and run back out 5 minutes later. I have all of my stuff in a bag, and then my books in my bookbag that the school provided for me. "I'm ready now. We can go."
So I'm in my own bedroom, in a nice house, with no "lights out" and no "bed time". I have my own tv, my own bed, and privacy. It's only 6, and we haven't had dinner yet. Oh wait, they just called me to dinner. Talk to you later.
Tyler R
~~~~~
11/25/15
It's been a week now. I've been here for a week, and I love it. I think this might actually be my forever home. I think they like me. I like them. I like them a lot. They help me with school work, with my girl problems, and with anything else in which I need help. My grades have been improving since I've been here. I hope I get to stay here. That's all for now.
Tyler R
~~~~~
12/10/15
I have news. I get to stay here. I got adopted. They adopted me. I love it here. I can finally say that I have a home. I can finally say that I have a family. They don't treat me any differently than they would treat a child they had themselves. I have a phone, a laptop for school, and they bought me new clothes. They have been so nice to me, and I can't believe that I found a forever home. They asked if I wanted to take their last name, and they're taking me to change it tomorrow. I can't wait. Her hugs are so nice, so soft and caring. She brings me to school, and brings me home every day. She is a doctor, and he is a contractor. She's specializes as a pediatrician in the ER. Anyway, I have school tomorrow and it's late. I'll tell you how it goes later.
Tyler R
~~~~~
10/18/16
I'm 17 today, and they got me a car, and a license. Wow. I'm happy now. I have a life to live for now. Thank you. I am no longer alone. I have a girlfriend too. She comes over quite a bit, and I got to go back into football. I'm also part of the debate team at school, and I'm having a great time. I no longer get bullied because I'm not an orphan anymore. I have nice clothes now. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. More people like me now. I have more friends. My girlfriend and I have been together for a month now, and she's already been to my house. Her name is Lily. She comes over for movie nights every weekend, and my parents love her. She's a grade below me, but she's pretty damn awesome if you ask me. She used to be an orphan like me too, and she found her forever home a few years ago. Anyway, she's nice, and her forever family is best friends with mine. I can't wait to be with her again this weekend.
Tyler S
~~~~~
04/16/17
I have a life now, I have a life worth living, I have a girlfriend, a family, and people that care about me now, Well, I have a dance to get to. Prom to be exact. I'll talk later.
Tyler S
~~~~~
05/17/17
I think it's time to end this journal thing. I no longer have thoughts of death, or killing myself. I have awesome parents, an awesome girlfriend, and awesome grades. I might be back later.
Tyler S
~~~~~
05/20/18
I'm almost a high school graduate now. I've been accepted into the University of Vermont, and I'm going to become a doctor. I want to be an ER Pediatrician like my mom is. I watch the kids at the daycare all the time. The ones that are between the ages of six and eight are my favorite. Anyway, I think I'm going to propose to Lily tonight. We have been together for three years on the 24th. I graduate the 28th. I'm ready to do this.
Tyler S


The author's comments:

This piece is based off of the experiences of a close friend of mine. All names of people have been changed for their safety. I just want everyone to know that the pain does end. Suicide isn't the only option.


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