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Everything

By , Goshen, OH

I watch the crisp fall leaves fall swiftly from the trees outside the window as I hear the faint ticks from the clock. Continuous ticking back and forth for what feels like forever as i sit, isolated in the back of the room. I look around and see the familiar faces i surround myself with,five days a week for seven deathly hours. I’ll be a senior next year and I’ll soon slip away into the college life, parties, drinking, friends, and so much school. Deep in my train of thoughts, I don’t even realize the bell has rung. I hurry and pack my things as I try to catch up with my friend, Emma. As I begin to approach her locker, she starts to speak,
“Are you coming to Jake’s party tonight?”. She stares at me blankly, waiting for my response.
“Oh, uh, yeah, totally. Time ?”. I’ve never been the party type, but junior year has definitely been an experience of adventures.
“Jake’s house at eight, I’ll give you a ride.” she walks away.
The rest of the day seemed to drag itself out. I go to my locker and put away my things as I see someone coming out of the corner of my eye. I turn around to see the one and only Jake Hugh.
“Hey, you coming tonight?” a faint wink appeared in his right eye.
“Um, yeah actually, I will” I give him a genuine smile.
“Alright, I’ll see you there.” He turned away as I longed for tonight to happen. I go outside and get into my car and get into my car. I turn the keys into the ignition and I drive home.
Safely and cautiously I arrive, dreading the worst part of my day. Coming home to my alcoholic mom and her terrible, disgusting, abusive boyfriend. As I walk in the trash bag I call my house, all I can smell is the horrific smell of beer. My mom, passed out drunk on the couch, as her cuts and bruises reveal themselves from under the blanket. John is nowhere to to be found, I wish he would be gone forever, all of the horrible things he has done to my family and this home.They’ve been “together” for ten years on and off and all he has done this whole time is drink his life away, as well as abuse, and yell at us. He’s sent himself to jail twice and has had many, countless DUI’s. He spends all our hard earned money on cigarettes and alcohol.  He’s done no good for me and my mom.
I kiss my mom on the forehead as I head up to my room. Blue, black and gray, the three colors that repeat beyond my room, christmas lights hanging from wall to wall. My safe room, through the yelling, fighting, and to the hitting, this is where I go to drain out my thoughts and feelings to get through those horrible nights. I sit down in my bed as I wait for tonight to make it’s way. A text from Emma brightens my phone screen,
drinks?
I’ve got you covered. I respond.
I finish up my makeup and change. The numbers, 6:00, glowed on my clock. I head downstairs to sneak some drinks. I can hear the faint yelling as I walk down the narrow steps. But this time the yelling, It’s not at each other, it’s at me.
“A party? On a school night? With who? Are you out of your mind?” The words being thrown at me like stones, repeating themselves over and over, as they continue to get gradually louder. Drunk I think to myself, all they are is drunk, all they ever are is drunk. I begin to tear up as i storm up to my room, my safe room. They’ve never acted out like this before, but why now?
I sit in the corner of my rooms, tears rolling down my cheeks. 7:45, oh how time passes. Emma blows up my phone,
i'm here?,
Hello?,
Are you coming or what Serenity?.
I sneak down the stairs into the kitchen, my mom and her boyfriend are too busy fighting to notice that I took 10 beers and five wine coolers out of the fridge. You can hardly tell I took anything out. I tiptoe back up the stairs and shove the alcohol into a bag that i found in my closet. I walk over to my window and face what I’m about to do. I slide my window open and take the screen off. I slide onto the roof, and down to the sidewalk, onto the driveway, and I open the door to Emma’s car. 7:55.
“God what took you so long,” she exclaims as she rolls her eyes. We drive off into the night, arriving at the party.
I step out of the car, looking over the mansion of a house, something I would never own. I grab my phone and catch up to Emma who is already halfway up the stairs to the doorway. I open the door and a flood of people came by. We walked in and i felt as if we were all tuna shoved into a metal tin. I try to shove my way pass people, when someone grabs my arm. To my surprise, it was Jake.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you” his cheesy white smile was present.
“Have you? Because you’ve probably said that to every girl here so far” he let’s go of my arm. He looks at me in an apologetic way,
“Let’s go get drinks” I follow him anxiously not know what what would happen next. We walk into the kitchen and he grabs two beers out of the fridge. He holds the beer out to me and I take it, open it, and chug. Tonight would be an awful night.
It been two hours and Emma is nowhere to be seen, but I’m still with jake, and everything is going great. I may have had one too many beers so far, we’ll just say an estimate of eight and a couple of shots. Jake’s been by my side this whole night and it couldn’t be better, everything was great. He’s held me close and he’s never left me to be by myself, standing in the corner awkwardly. We sat on a bench in the upstairs hallway as he begins to speak up,
“You know, I really like you Serenity.” he give me that cheesy smile again and I couldn’t help myself over how cute he was.
“You know, you’re not that bad yourself.” I smile back and he inches closer to me. I get anxious, i'm not this type of person.
“Come here” he says as he grabs my hand and pulls me to the closest room.
“Jake, no.” I plead.
“It’s alright there’s nothing to be scared of.” He’s drunker than me, I can smell it off his breath. It reminds me of John and I can’t take it. Closer and close Jake gets to me, I’m not putting up with this.
“Jake please stop, please you’re really dr-”
“shhh” he shushed me.
I scream, “JAKE!” I back away from him.
He starts yelling at me and tells me that he wasn’t doing anything to hurt me. He yells mean words at me as I begin to tear up. Just when I thought things were going good, everything turns out to be a total joke, of course. All this yelling and fighting reminds me of my mom and John. I start sobbing as he continues yelling at me. Some people like to stay “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” but guess what. Words hurt. I back away and leave the room, the house, I leave everything behind me.
I walk out of the house, everything a blur. I could barely see but what happened was not okay. What he did to me would follow me forever, in my thoughts, in my dreams. Bad memories to haunt me for the rest of my horrible dreadful life. I get into my car as a single tear falls down my warm cheeks. I step on the gas, flying down the road and all the blurs of lights from the cars passing. One car after another they keep passing next to my car. I step harder, faster. I think about what happened in that room, in that house, the too many drinks I had, the party i never should have went too, the boy that i should’ve never trusted. Why? Why me, It’s always me. I start feeling dizzy when all I begin to see is white. The white came from the headlights of another car, crashing right into the side mine. My side has a wave of pain as my car begins to cave in, my head has a killing headache and my leg begins to bleed. The cars sit on the side of the road when all of a sudden, white turns to black. I think about everything, my mom who deserved better, her “boyfriend” who deserves to rot in hell, Emma who should have been there to help me, and the guy that ruined my life all because he drank too much. They all might not have been good to me, but they were all apart of my poor miserable life. I sit there, in my own pool of blood helpless. I hear the silent cries of the sirens in the distance going off. There’s no more time to fix anything, the thoughts going around in my head are filled with regret, so much regret. Why does everything happen to me.






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