Why the sun never Shines on Troubled Waters

April 25, 2017
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1- my life as I know it

I sat on the edge of the dock letting my feet hang over. I stared down into the mysterious teal water and thought about the unknown world under the sea.  Chipping off a piece of wood, I dropped it in and watched the wood sink. I stood up and brushed myself off and walked to my bike. I rode down the long streets of Augusta, Maine. Always shaded by tall trees. I didn't want to go back home because that meant going to school. I hated school because I felt like I never fitted in or had anything in common with my classmates. But my spring break could not have been longer because I was forced to spend the entire week with my family. I love them and all but I have two brothers whose sole purpose in life was to make mine miserable.  I rode down the familiar street that my family had lived on for so many years. I parked my bike in the side yard and entered the house through the back door. There I saw my mom sitting on the couch with Henry, my younger brother. Henry looked a lot like my mom with sandy blonde hair and eyes the same color as the water I had seen not even fifteen minutes before. I, on the other hand had the misfortune of a striking resemblance to my father. With golden eyes and light brown hair. The reason I said it was a misfortune because my features were sharp and defined not soft and refined like my brother's or mom's. 

I ran up the stairs as they  both shouted HELLO Lily. Not acknowledging them, I closed the door of my room. I stared into the full length mirror on my wall. I was of average height.  I was of average weight. I have average looks. I got average grades. I was just average, although I felt different all my life.  There was nothing that made me special. I sat down on my bed disgusted with myself. I grabbed my phone and checked for messages, none. I layed back on my bed, dreading school tomorrow.

My mom came to my room and told me that dinner was ready. I groaned and rolled off of my bed. "Stop being so dramatic,"she said, sticking her head in my room as she knocked on my brothers door. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I sat down on a chair near a large window, which overlooked the distant coastline. My older brother, Daniel, sat down on the chair next to me and and saw that I looked intently out the window.He looked at me and asked,"You want to go to the dock, don't you?" I nodded my head. Daniel leaned over and
me. He said,"Whatever is bothering you will be ok". Not only did he look like me, but he thought the same way I did. He didn't ask any questions he just knew something was wrong and tried to comfort me.  I nodded again to answer his question and he returned it with a wide toothy smile. My dad came into the kitchen and hugged my mom and then me. He sat next to me. He was a quiet man and the complete opposite of my mother who was loud and extroverted. But they balanced each other out, like yin and yang so to speak. My mom placed a small chicken on the table along with green beans and mashed potatoes. We all ate the food and discussed how each other's day had been.  I didn't say much at the table that night, which apparently caught the attention of my mom. "What's wrong, sweetie," she asked. "Nothing," I said and smiled. She gave me one of those I will dig it out of you if I have too looks. We finished eating and everyone went  back to whatever they were doing before dinner. I went back to my room and checked my phone again no messages.

I thought about school and felt a sharp twist in stomach. So I decided watch some tv.  After a few episodes of my favourite show, I heard a knock on my door. My mom entered. I looked at her and grimsted. She sat down at the foot of my bed. Without looking at me she said "Things will get better at school I promise."I knew what she said was true I just didn't know when things would get better.

2-Trials and Tribulations
According to the dictionary, the phrase trials and tribulations means to test ones patience and endurance. This basically describes my day to day at school.

I walked in the main hall where classrooms and lockers line the wall. I knew most everybody in all my classes for the better part of of 9 years. I walked to my locker and join a sea of faces. Be it, acne ridden faces but faces, nonetheless. At my locker I stacked up my books and walked to class. I always arrive to my first class early but I am not the first one there. I usually don't say anything. People think I am reserved and rude but I am just shy. In fact this one girl in my class started this one rumour about me, it was awful. I didn't know how to deal with it.  She told everyone I was a lesbian but I'm not, not that there's anything wrong with being gay, I just wasn't. Only my closest friends would talk to me. I lost a lot of friends because of that stupid lie. One sentence ruined my life. And my mom calls it teen angst. I  just want to curl up in a ball and sleep away my problems.

But nothing interesting happened that day. I walked over to my mom's car. She turned in her seat and asked me, "How was your day?" I didn't say anything. She looked at me and sighed. The rest of the ride home we were both completely quiet. Once we got home ran up the stairs and through my books down. It would be summer vacation in two months, which I was happy about. I studied for a few tests I had tomorrow. I ran outside and grabbed my bike. I saw Henry and my mom in the window they both waved. I waved back and tore off. I screamed and laughed. I sat on the dock, my favourite place in the world. I watched the sunlight reflect off of the water. I soon felt a tear rolling down my cheek. Then another and another after that, soon I was flat out balling. Sometimes I cry for no reason and other times I know what's making me upset. But today everything spilled out with my tears. I think I was crying today because I don't have really any friends and my math class is to hard. I know it sounds stupid but I was stressed. You can never let your feelings get the best of you. I sobbed and sobbed and I didn't even realise how long I had be there because the sun was starting to set. And I just sat there and watched it. I went home and fell asleep, little did I know my entire life was going to change.


3-Into the unknown
I sat on the corner of my bed staring at the floor. I was thinking about what my day was going to be like. I realised what time it was and rushed out the door to catch the bus. My mom was standing at the door smiling. I grabbed my lunch, but before I left, I noticed that she had a strange look on her face like she knew something I didn't. It bothered me all day thinking what happened then convincing myself it was nothing.  When school got out my mother still had that same look on her face.
  “What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“We will talk about it when your dad gets home,” she said on the verge of tears.
My mind started running wildly out of control. What if someone’s sick? What if we are moving? What if Daniel was in a car accident? The car pulled in the driveway. My dad was standing there. My ears starting ringing. I lost my breath. I got out of the car. My mom walked around the car a slowly as she possibly could. Or that’s what it seemed like anyways. My parents stared at each other and said “We are moving,” without looking at me. I thought about this for a second. I could go somewhere new where no one knew me. I could reinvent myself I could have as many or as few new friends as I wanted. I would leave everything I have ever known. All the sense of comforting familiarity would be lost. I would not know how to make new friends in such a new and foreign environment.
“When,” was all I could manage to  say.
“ In June, after school lets out” my dad said.
Henry burst out of the house. He yelled “We are moving to Hawaii.” I slowly nodded my head and walked to my to room.

4-Adventure into the unknown
In the airplane I absent mindedly watched some movie while I waited for the plane to land.  Once the plane landed we took a taxi  to our new house. The new house was small and needed a paint job, but it looked like paradise to me. I walked inside and chose a room with a small window overlooking a distant mountain. A day later the moving truck came and I got on my bike and rode down to the beach. I stood with my toes in the water. And I felt a weight role of my shoulders I was finally free from the insecurities and the worries because none of that mattered anymore. It was as if I had left all of that behind.  I walked over to a small shaded part of the beach. And through a rock into the water. The sunlight sparkled and rippled on the surface of the water then the water settled and everything was calm again and my reflection was clear.

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