Conquering my doubt

By , Newark, DE

I was sitting in my room, on my bed, it was a Sunday afternoon, I was drawing in my sketchbook, and I liked to draw a lot. Everybody said I was good, I knew I was too. I was drawing a very detailed car when I heard a knock on my door “Brennon can I come in I have to show you something” my mom’s voice came through the door, I set down my sketch book and pencil and got up. I opened the door and she was smiling from ear to ear, “What’s up mom?” I said, looking at her confused. She gave me a newspaper and pointed to the front page; I looked at it for a moment and read it. It was an art contest, ‘did she want me to enter?’ I thought, interrupting my thoughts she said “You should enter, I’ve seen some of your drawings, and you’re really good!” she was still smiling from ear to ear. ‘I know I’m good, but am I good enough for this contest?’ I thought, doubting myself.    After a couple of minutes going back and forth in my head like that I shouted out “What the heck, why not?” I said starting to smile, while my mom jumped with joy.
The next day, I went to school and sat in my first two classes ready to tell my friends about the contest. When lunch came around I felt like I speed walked to the lunch line to get my food, so I could get to my regular table and wait for my two friends Ryan and Tyler to arrive. When they sat down I didn’t wait for them to say anything and blurted out my news.  “Guys guess what? There’s this local art contest published in the paper and I am going to enter it.  ” They both looked at me for a second, and then smiled  “That’s awesome, when is it?” my closest friend Ryan asked.   “It’s in a couple of weeks; I’m not really sure what I’m going to draw yet though.” “You should draw…..ummm…..maybe like a person or something… you know how some artist draw famous people?  You should do that!” Ryan said.   I liked that idea, ‘but will I be good enough?’ questions of doubt still raced through my mind and like my quiet friend Tyler sitting beside me, I ate the rest of my lunch in silence for my nerves were doing a number on me.
When I got home from school, I put aside my homework and grabbed my sketchbook, I needed ideas. I sat there thinking for what felt like hours, I was thinking of famous people that I like, when I thought of my favorite music artists, Drake, I decided that was a person I could capture in a drawing. I got out my phone and texted Ryan the idea, he texted back instantly and loved the idea, we both liked Drake and his music. I was looking up a picture of him when I heard my mom come in the front door.  “Hey mom” I yelled from my room, I heard her acknowledge my greeting and so I quickly returned to my drawing and was working on it for over a half an hour.  “Dinner is ready, Brennon!” I heard my mom yell, so I take a break from my drawing and ran down the stairs.  “Dinner smells good Mom.    I’m starving, working on my drawing sure worked up my appetite!” she smiled, and I sat down at the table and started eating.  “What did you decide to draw?” she asked me, I looked up at her and I smiled “I’m going to draw Drake; he’s my favorite music artist!” I told her even though I knew she probably did not know who that was but she smiled like she did and said “I cannot wait to see it when you are all done!”   I ate pretty fast, eager to start drawing again, and cleaned my plate and went back up to my room. I was drawing for the rest of the night, until I was so tired my eyes could no longer focus on my drawing.
A week and a half passed and the contest entry deadline was quickly approaching.   I started over on my drawing several times but I finally got it where I was partial to the direction it was going in.  I still had doubt in my mind though, still wondering if I was actually good enough to compete against all the other contestants who entered, but I kept drawing.   I had two more days until I had to turn my drawing in and I was almost finished.   I was doing the finishing touches on it when my phone went off.   “I want to see your drawing before you submit it to the paper!”  Ryan said on the other end of the line.  “I will send you a picture of it as soon as I am finished.”   Once I put the final touches on the drawing I sent a photo to Ryan who immediately sent back “Wow that looks amazing!”     All this excitement had made me exhausted so I set my drawing in a safe place so I could get some rest and I slept soundly knowing I was ready for this contest.
It was submission day and I was excited but a little nervous. The drawing had to be dropped off at the local newspaper branch so I got an envelope to keep the drawing from being bent in its travels and jumped in the car with my mom who drove like she was just as nervous as I was entering this contest!   “I think you will do awesome” she told me with full confidence in me,  after we returned into the car from dropping the drawing off and I had a good feeling about it too. The rest of the day I just sat around my house, with nothing to do, I had nothing to do now that I was done with my drawing, and I didn’t want to draw anymore until I knew the results of the contest.
A week passed since dropped my drawing off, not really thinking about it I checked the mail as I always did when I got home, and I saw something from the art contest    I got really excited and practically ran inside “Mom, come here” I yelled excitedly, I started to open it as my mom walked in “What is it, is everything ok?” she asked.   Laughing at her worried face I gave her the biggest smile to which was all my Mom needed to see and she knew exactly what I had in my hand.   “Oh my gosh, there is no way!” I couldn’t hide my excitement, and even though it was a bit much I started to jump up and down.   “Mom I got first place!” I said with excitement still in my voice, she started to jump up and down with me. The next thing I did was pull out my phone and text both Ryan and Tyler, they both texted back in a matter of seconds and were both really happy. I didn’t think I could get first place, I was really proud of myself, I got over my doubt and achieved something that I didn’t think I was able too.
 






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