No one likes the scent of a wet dog

November 9, 2008
I opened the door to my house and I was assaulted by the crisp autumn air and the unmistakable scent of burning leaves wafting from my neighbors yard, as I prepared to do the same thing I do every other day; a walk to the park with my dog. But not a typical park, you know one with swings and laughing children,but a boring business park with corporate snobs and fancy cars. I didn't even like going there. Heck the only reason I went there was so my dog could poop in the grass and maybe one of the grumpy business men would step in it and get it on his new oxfords, though that rarely happened since they thought they were too good to walk through the grass.
"Come on Muffy" I said as I led my little tan Chihuahua out the door into the cold. She shook a little from the shock but sniffed the air and enthusiastically trotted down our usual route.
The sun was out but the wind was blowing pretty hard. Muffy kept rushing forward to keep her body heat up and ended up dragging me behind her, even if she was sniffing every tree, plant and bush that we passed.
We followed the same route as always. Past the same weeds growing on the top of hill and the abandoned bulldozer parked behind the hill where the casual passerby wouldn't notice. We went by the old building that had a for sale sign on it for the past three years and the old pile of revolving doors, which miraculously never seemed to rust no matter how hard it rained.
We continued down our route. As usual the obnoxious businessmen parked their cars on the side of the road instead of in the parking lot for a quick get away so we had to move to the middle of the road where other businessmen honked at me or flipped me off for getting in their way. While the more perverted ones simply slowed down their engines and stared at me thinking I was clueless to their ways.
After a while the road thinned and I had to walk in the grass to avoid getting killed by the rushed business men who overslept or got caught in traffic, and were too rude to slow down. I silently critiqued the cars parked obnoxiously on the side of the road. A new Mercedes in black, very nice. A 2005 Mustang convertible in red, even nicer. But oh the best one in the whole park; a 2008 silver Porsche. A very nice car, one I'd even contemplated on stealing a few times, and not just because the car was amazing, but the owner of it was a real jerk and I guess I never really knew any of this until a few months ago when he first approached me.
"Hey babe" he called at me from across the road in the typical male catcall voice.
"Uh Hi." I said back.
He started walking across the street to me with a girly kind of bouncy in his step.
"I always see you walkin' that dog around here" he remarked.
"Uh yeah I guess. She has to pee and well I need the exercise"
"No you don't, you're perfect. Real perfect. Shiny blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, quite a body if I do so so myself " he trailed off for a moment while I swear I saw his pants get tighter."My name's Jack by the way"
"Oh Uh Hi Jack?" I questioned his every move in my mind as he walked closer to me. "well I oughta be going. I have to keep my heart rate up and all".
"Oh I know how you can keep your heart rate up". He smiled coyly at me.
"Uh no thanks I'm good."
"Oh I see" He stood there for a moment in pure silence. "Well it was nice meeting you... uh whats your name?"
"Becky" I quickly lied.
"Well okay, sweet thing. I'm sure I'll see you around here more".
"Uh sure." I said as I walked away.
I thought I heard him yell something back but when I turned to see, he was getting into a shiny silver 2008 porsche.
That was my only real encounter with him, but it was enough to tell me everything I'd ever need to know about him, that the only part of him I'd ever like was his car. His beautiful beautiful car.
I stopped to take a good look at his freshly waxed Porsche. The sun's rays hit the already gleaming perfection that was his car and burnt my eyes and I looked down to avoid the glare. And that's when I saw it. A rich ruby gem embedded in silver and surrounded in diamonds. Wow what a ring, it must have cost as much as the damn car.
I examined it, definitely real. I tried to place it on my ring finger but it wouldn't slide on. It was a tiny banded ring, probably belonged to one of the his trophy brides. Looking again I realized it was an engraved ring. On the inside it read "May our future be as bright as your smile. I'll love you forever- Jack. May 19th 2007"
Psssshhh How hallmark can you get?? That girl is such a trophy wife. I laughed at his stupidity and shoved the ring with the big gem into the pocket of my big black sweatshirt and continued down the route to the pond.
I kept walking wondering if Jack would ever notice that his trophy bride was missing her ring. Or even if he did notice, I wondered if he would care. Probably not, the stupid man just wanted any woman, didn't matter. I laughed to myself as I reached the pond. My favorite place in the world, where I went everyday just to relax. Ripples from rain drops dotted the surface of the pond today; I looked into the sky and saw dark clouds. I'd been so absorbed in the ring that I didn't notice the sun go away or the drops slowly pattering down towards earth.
I stood for a moment just thinking while Muffy sniffed at the damp grass blades. I pulled the ring out again. Definitely silver I thought as I bit the ring and examined it for marks. Pure ruby, of course. And it looked to me there were at least twenty diamonds in it. Wow think of what I could do......
Muffy growled at me and I noticed the rain, it was now pouring down. She started shaking and whining, she hated being wet and I hated it too. Face it, no one likes the scent of a wet dog.I placed the giant ring in my back pocket and shoved Muffy underneath my bulky sweatshirt and ran all the way back to my house.
"There you go Muffy" I said as I opened the door and let her rush into my house and rub herself all over the now dampened carpets. "Awhhh" I remarked aloud as she shook and ran around wildly trying to dry herself. "You're so adorable" I said like she was a baby. "Oh yes you arrrrrrre".
I heard a laugh behind me and turned around abruptly. "Oh hey" I said
"You're really pretty funny when you think I'm not home" he said to me.
"Shut up. I thought you said I was hilarious".
"You are in a stand up comedian sort of way" he smirked at me.
"Haha whatever" I said before plopping down on his lap.
"Owwwww whats that in your pocket?" he asked me while wincing.
"Oh right I almost forgot" I said as I pulled the huge ring out of my pocket.
He sat there for a moment stunned at the ring in my hand. "You're.... leaving me?" he asked.
"What?" I questioned, almost scared. "I found this is the park, no one gave it to me........ I swear".
"Ohhhhh" he breathed a sigh of relief "This thing is huge! Whose is it?"
"Remember the guy who hit on me last month at the park?"
"Yeah.... that creep. He's lucky I don't go over there and kill him."
"Relax hun." I said. "The important thing is what can be done with this ring.
"Woah this thing must be worth at least a million dollars" he exclaimed.
" I know" I said. " I don't know what to do with it".
I sat for a moment in silence thinking of what to tell him while he was probably thinking of ways to steal MY money.
"I've got it!" he practically shouted at me. I stared intently at him waiting for his idea. "I can finally give you the life you deserve and the wedding you always wanted. You know the one you always tell me about where we're on a beach in hawaii with two hundred of our closest friends saying our vows as the sun goes down. Where you're in an amazing dress. One that costs more than a new car and is sparkling and white that poofs out exactly how you've always imagined it. Like a princess." I just sat there staring blankly at him. "You know as opposed to the lame little wedding we had in vegas. Where our audience was the other drunken couples waiting to get married, the one where you were wearing a rental dress and the backdrop was a picture of Elvis playing his guitar. I know you want better than that. And I know you deserve better than that". I just kept staring at him, thinking, as he rambled on about how perfect everything could be. "Whats wrong?" he asked.
"I don't know." I stared at the ceilling. Still unsure of how to tell him the bad news.
"Well obviously you do know"
"Yeah....but well you don't need to do any of that". I said timidly
He stared at me like I'd just spoken to him in another language.
"What?!" he asked me " I thought this was what you always wanted."
"It was....." I said.
"What do you mean was?" he barked at me.
"Well things have changed and........"
"I knew it. I knew it. I knew it!" he screamed at me.
I just sat there and stared as his face turned a flush shade of red. He'd finally figured me out.
"John was right! You're just a gold digger Lola! I can't believe I thought you loved me. All you want is money! And when you get it, you can't share it with anyone. You're just a selfish little witch!" he screamed at me.
I just shrugged my shoulders. We both knew he was right. And I knew I didn't need him anymore.
"Wow whatever stupid! I'll just get out of your life! And you can keep my stuff. You little gold digger!" he said as he flung me off his lap and stormed out of the house.
I sat there on the floor for a moment laughing to myself until I realized he had the ring. My ring. His car engine started up and I heard him drive away.

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