Senior Life

March 17, 2017
By Anonymous

I’m Greg Bergenelli. I don’t like to talk about my age, but let’s say I’m a bit on the old side. I’m rich, if you know me you would have guessed that by now. I live in California, and own the world’s largest fishing company. Our profits are soaring, and I’ve invested my money in Microsoft, Apple, and Samsung. I’ve tried to combine them but the US government keeps saying I can’t. They say it’s because I would not be allowing competition. Whatever than means. So I keep them the way they are, if one company starts to lose profit, the other two began to make profit, it’s a fail-safe investment. Aside from my technology investments, I stay loyal to my money-making roots and frequently visit my fishing headquarters in Cuba. Santiago, my company’s CEO and most trusted companion, generally meets me to discuss how our fishermen have been doing. He’s very generous with fishermen who seem to not catch any fish. He says it’s something about luck. I don’t care, because at the end I still get paid. I met Santiago back in the day. The whole village kept talking about how this man managed to catch this huge marlin. That’s when I got the idea to start a fishing company. I didn’t have any fishing experience, but when you got some giant-marlin catching guy who could do that for you, I didn’t think it was that important. So I made some calls, landed a huge deal with some investor in China, and had a company that would eventually be worth billions. Santiago hired all my workers, taught kids how to fish, and my company soon began to soar. From then on I visited that village every three weeks or so. When I return from these fishing trips, I like to go relax. Since I’m one of the richest people in the world, people think I’m always busy, but we rich people hire others to do the work for us. I’ve met Bill Gates and he tells me he doesn’t even work anymore because he’s got a whole team to do it for him. So anyway, back to a day in my life. Since, I’ve got an open schedule, aside from a meeting here and there, I get to focus on my family. They matter to me. According to rich kid stereotypes, my kids should be pretty spoiled. Well, spoiler alert; they’re not. Now sure, they aren’t walking around shoveling people’s sidewalks to buy that video game at GameStop (A company I have some interest in buying), but there not getting everything they ask for. If they asked me to buy them there own personal amusement park, I’d tell them no. I also try to keep them motivated in school, but all the lessons they need to make money are from me and not their algebra textbooks; so I’m not obsessed with good grades. Another thing important to me is charity. I’ve got so much money to burn, that I realize that others need it more than me. So, I’ve started my own non-profit organization called You Can Make A Difference. You Can Make A Difference is one of the most funded organizations in the world! Partly because I donate half my income to that organization, but we don’t need to get there. The organization uses the money and gives it to cancer research centers, refugees, and other people who need it. These two are the most important things in my life. People see that I’ve got good intentions for this world, and thus they say I’m a pretty handsome fellow. I agree, my moisturizer really does do the trick.

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