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Anxiety

Was it a knock that had woken her? Or was it her own frantic thoughts trying to come to life? The young woman glanced at the clock, the green letters reading that it was 3:55 am. She sighed, trying to rid herself of the feeling that someone was watching her. But it was there. She laid back down, squeezing her eyes shut.
“One… Two…”
“You’ll never make it.” A voice whispered in the back of her mind, causing her to jolt upright.
She shook her head and laid down again.
“I’ll be okay…” She mumbled repeatedly.
“No you won’t.” The same voice repeated.
This continued for some time, until the alarm blared.
The girl rose, knowing she wasn’t prepared.
But she tried to convince herself of otherwise. No matter what she did there was a knot in the pit of her stomach that made her sick and nervous but gave her a slight thrill that drove her mad.
This feeling was anxiety.
The girl didn’t know of this small monster that ate her from the inside out, consuming her thoughts and actions subtly, until she could no longer process basic information.
It came to the point where the stress was too much and that monster took over.
She collapsed, sobbing, shaking, sweating.
It was all too much to process.
And she broke.
It started off as a ringing, then went to a burning heat that spread through her body.
And then, slowly, but all at once she felt her walls crash.
She felt the monster take control.
She felt the anxiety, panic, stress, and depression rush into her, corrupting her.
And she felt the others around her walk by, only casting her odd glances.
None did a single thing at all.
And she cried while no one did a thing.
Not once did someone stop to comfort or help her.
And thats when she remembered what it felt like to be truly alone.
She went home, and sat in the bathroom.
She picked up a razor, not fully aware of actions.
"One... Two." A slash went through her arm.
"Three... Four." Another, and another and as the blood beaded the tears fell faster.
Her wrists were bloodied, everything red with the power of the small monster. She cut and slash, feeling hopeless.
And then she screamed. She screamed and screamed, taking control. Shakily she stood.
'You deserve to die.' The voice mumbled. And that was the end. She dropped to her knees, too weak to stand. This was the end. The monster had consumed her completely. If only someone had listened and helped her battle.






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