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Beginnings

By , Ankeny, IA

“Where were you last night?” Jill looked at Marcy with an angry expression. Her tone was accusing as she looked at her daughter’s bloodshot eyes and messy hair. Marcy glanced at her mother before returning her gaze to the floor. “Nowhere,” she mumbled softly.

“I’m not an idiot Marcy. I heard the door open and close around 3 a.m. I can practically smell the alcohol. So where would a 17-year-old be going at that hour?”

Marcy looked into her mother’s knowing glance and sighed. “I said nowhere.”

Jill’s already steaming expression got even more ferocious. “Tell me right this minute or there will be consequences!”

Marcy held her ground, already feeling the familiar prick of tears. She didn’t let them fall. “Where I went is none of your business.”

Marcy closed her eyes as her mother launched another blow to her already bruised stomach.
She then ran out of the kitchen where this whole affair had been taking place. Jill screamed after her, “Get back here young lady! I was not done having this conversation!”

Marcy just ignored her mother and fled up to her room, slamming and locking the door. She slid down the closed door to her room and sobbed, placing her head on her hands. She walked to the bathroom, tears blurring her vision. She opened the cabinet and pulled out the jar of pills. She looked at the bottle and stopped. Was she really going to go through with this?

Instead of doing so, Marcy grabbed her phone and unlocked her window, promptly climbing out of it, holding onto the nearby tree branch and dropping to the grass below.

She walked along the side of the street, hood up, head down. She didn’t have a destination but somehow ended up back where she was last night. The cemetery. She walked through the gate and walked along the tombstones. The wind was blowing fiercely, showing the coming of a storm. The clouds in the sky were dark, and even though the weather was fierce, everything else was silent, the only sound being Marcy’s shoes padding across the poorly maintained grass.

Marcy stopped in front of the familiar stone, pulling her hood down and letting her long brown hair be free. Her bright blue eyes clouded with tears for the second time that day. She read the inscription on the stone as she did every day: Daniel Smith. 1998-2016.

She dropped to her knees, racked with sobs. She placed her hands on the flowers she had put the night before and spoke his name for the first time since the accident.

“Life has been hard since the accident D-D-Daniel. All I think about is how I wish I was in the car with you. Then at least I would still be with you. Everyone keeps saying how it will get better, I will be able to be happy again, but how can that be, when I’m here and you’re not? It’s been 6 months and the pain still hasn’t lessened.  All I think about is you. How I long for one last smile, one last kiss with you. Things with my mother have been awful. Dad isn’t around and when he is, he is drunk and doesn’t give a s*** about me. When he does, it to adds to the torment. You were my saving grace. The only thing I left to care about. I told everything to you. You comforted me when I was contemplating whether to just end it. End my life. What am I supposed to do now? You told me to be strong and that you would never leave me. How am I supposed to live?”

By the time Marcy had finished speaking, she was looking at the name longingly, as if Daniel was here to answer her. She lovingly traced her finger over his name. She dropped her head to her knees and went back to crying into her hands. She heard someone clear their throat in front of her and she looked up and gasped. Standing there, was the outline of Daniel. Marcy didn’t believe in ghosts, but in that moment she did.

“But I am here, Marcy. Just as I said I was. Even if I’m not here in flesh, I will always be with you in here.” Daniel placed his hand on her heart and whispered, “Don't kill yourself, Marcy. Keep living and be happy. That’s all I ever wanted- for you to be happy.” With that, he dropped his hand and started to fade away. Just before he disappeared completely, Marcy heard those last words she never got to hear from him, “I love you.”

Marcy watched as he finished disappearing, and felt water drop on her hands. For once, it was rain and not her tears. She smiled and whispered, “I love you too.”






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