Perfect Imperfections | Teen Ink

Perfect Imperfections

December 18, 2016
By Faith_never.forefit_ BRONZE, Columbia, Missouri
Faith_never.forefit_ BRONZE, Columbia, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

“Go kill yourself, Sam You don’t belong here, you
are worthless and pathetic I don’t know what Parker sees in you and you are ugly and are a horrible girlfriend”
Carlie says to me as I’m cornered in the bathroom
she smiles and walks off with the people I used to call my friends I see Parker out in the hall but I couldn’t let him see me like this he is my world and Lucas and him are already fighting imagine what this would do to their friendship. I hear the bell sharply
ring as I turn around and I wipe off my tears straighten my leggings and walk out into the now empty hall.
“Do you have a pass?!” yells Mr. Corndog I see Lindsey
hide wearing her dark clothes in one of the doors ways.
I weakly let out a small “no” as I turn around and
get ready to get swept Parker lets out a loud..
“Hey we have been looking for you, you are needed
in the principal’s office”
I went in confused, I have purposely tried not to
be in here so my step mom Rose and my dad Aaron wouldn't be mad at me. Mrs. Herman stood with a semi smile that her wrinkly face could not hold.
“I’ve been told you are getting bullied by a group
of students from our school. I have a list of people you could talk to about this, just please think about talking about this with someone.”
“Yes ma’am” I said with a small crack in my voice
I start to walk back to class and run into Lucas
for once he’s treating me nice. Then it comes
“You are a b**** you know that my girlfriend is just
trying to help you out, just kill yourself save all of us the trouble.”
I can’t help but run to the bathroom and cry but
once I step in there here they are
“I thought I told you, you don’t use this bathroom.”
Says Carlie she says before pushing me to the ground.
“I saw you with my boyfriend. I would slap you, but
I don’t want to get slut on my hands” Carlie, Lindsey and the other three girls she laughed than left the bathroom after each of the five girls kick me in my head while heading out of the bathroom.
The bell rings scaring me back into this horrid reality
that I have to call my life.
I met Parker at the vending machine like every day
he drives me home I was waiting for him to talk or something but we just sit in silence the whole time. He walks me to my door kisses my forehead.
“I love you Sam, I see you later goodnight love.”
I run upstairs and lay on my bed and get on my phone
and laptop I see texts like
“Sam?! Ha-ha what a guy’s name”
*Its Samantha!*
“You are not pretty enough to be so stupid.”
*Which is why...i have better grades than you.*
“Damn girl are you a fire alarm, because you’re really
loud and annoying.”
*I don't even know you* tears began to form in her
eyes
“No wonder everyone hates you”
*Nobody knows me...Nobody wants too*
“Just go kill yourself”
*Maybe I might as well* Cries a little harder
“Nobody wants you”
*I am surprised I even have parker*
“Parker just feels bad for you”
“You’re fat”
“You’re ugly”
“You’re pathetic”
“YOU ARE A WASTE OF SPACE”
“No wonder where you get being a hoe from”
“Your mom says hi. I have her on speed dial 1-800-Hoe”
*How does everyone know about my mom*.....Parker.
I give up the only person I thought I had I don't even have goodbye.. Great another text
*PING*
“Does parker know he’s dating a guy?”
By the time I read the sixteenth text I had already
been bawling I sent parker a text told him I didn’t feel good not to worry about coming over
Wrote a note to my parents,
                                         I’m sorry
I can’t take it anymore, I feel as if I’m not enough my mom gave up on me the only reason parker is dating me is because he feels bad for me. I get kicked around, bullied talked about every day. I won’t take the pain anymore.
                                                                                            
                                                                                   I Love you,
                                                                                                          Sam
          I walk into the bathroom with mascara all
down my face. I striped down in a bra and underwear. Ran water in the bathtub got out Roses pills for her anxiety and sat down next to the bathtub. As I heard the water slowly filling up the tub, a single tear cascaded down my cheek and fell onto my bare leg.
When the tub finally got full of warm, bubbly water, I put one foot in to test the water and then my other foot to stabilize myself. I sat down with the bottle of pills in my right hand and my left hand on the side of the tub. Slowly twisting the cap of the
bottle, I began to cry while I sang the song “I'm coming home.” My mom knocked on the door to make sure I was doing okay and I took a deep breath and answered her.
“Yes mom. I’m fine. I’m just starting a bath so I
can relax for a while”
“Okay honey. If you need anything please let me know.
Remember I love you sweetheart”
“I love you too mom. I really do” I said as I began
to cry again.
   Just to think that after all these years of being
pushed around and being called names, I can finally be happy and in peace. No more bullies, no more crying, no more pain, just the silence and the sound of one final last breath fading off into the distance. Warm water covers my body and everything just fades
away as my eyes close and it all goes dark. I can still hear things for what seemed the longest minute of my life. I heard the door being kicked in, my mom screaming, and my little sister’s feet running, until it all just got quiet. I didn’t expect my life
to end up like this. I wanted to go to college and become a photographer. I wanted to take pictures of what I thought was the most perfect life on earth. I wanted to go out to lunch with my best friends and i wanted to have so much fun and laughs. But everyone
knows that life will just be better now that I'm gone. Nobody will have to worry about me getting in their way and Carlie won’t have to worry about me anymore.
  
    2 weeks later
“Look I am sorry I am sorry i bullied you all these
years I'm sorry for everything you aren't ugly you are beautiful….Stunning I've always wanted to be you”
I can hear the cry for help in her voice.. I reached
over and grabbed ahold of her hand and squeezed she looked up and started crying harder
“SHE'S AWAKE SHE'S AWAKE”
“SAM IS AWAKE”
in so much pain IVs hooked up to me my dad, parker and Carlie
beside me I wake up and try to sit up but I'm in too much pain. I try to remember what happened why am I here? This is the hospital..my dad looks at me with a smile
 
   “Where's Rose?” i was confused i thought mom would
be there
“She left she...she. Honey you rest you have been in a coma for 2 weeks, we will talk
about the rest of this later, now what would you like to eat?”
Parker and I both say at once  “Ice-cream” I look
at him and smile you wouldn't believe how amazing it is too see his face right now those blue soft eyes blondish hair with that gentle smile that I've always loved.
The night went by in a blur more tests more pain
worrying boredom.
I guess Mrs. Herman noticed the nervousness in me when Lucas came  my
worried posture came back.
I can tell Carlie had just been crying in my gut I just wanted to hug her But I sat there I was so confused.


The author's comments:

Personally I know how it feels to have been bullied and I want people to realize bullying is not okay under any circumstances.


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