Santa is Coming to Town

November 17, 2016

It was like any other normal day in my life, other than the fact that I was turning 18. Tonight, during my birthday party, I was going to live it up. I did my daily morning routine and then headed downstairs. When I got to the bottom of the stairs my parents, who had been talking, were suddenly mysteriously quiet. I looked around awkwardly, wondering if I was the cause of the silence. I shuffled to the fridge ready to hardcore munch on some breakfast. Then my parents moved over to the dining table and sat down looking strangely serious for once. “Jacobi, we need to tell you something very important,” my mom said to me.
I made my way over to the dining table sat down and nodded my head for them to continue. “I’m just going to tell you straight out, Jacobi, you’re not human,” my dad informed me in a monotone voice. I sat there looking completely confused and wondering what they were talking about.
My mom noticed my confusion and elaborated, “Well you’re not exactly human, but you are a being similar to a human.”
I was beginning to get tired of them beating around the bush. “Well then, what am I?” I questioned agitated.
“You’re Santa Claus,” mom uttered. I stared blankly at the wall. There was no way that I was Santa Claus. My parents had to be joking. I turned to look at their faces, and I knew they were completely serious. They couldn’t prank somebody to save their lives.
Suddenly my dad turned to me and said, “We also have a present for you.” Oh great, more surprises, just what I need. I reluctantly follow my parents to the garage where my supposed “present” is. My parents open the door and in the garage is the weirdest present I’ve ever received: nine reindeer attached to a red sleigh. Outraged I jumped in the sleigh and flew out the garage in an angry wave of hooves and fur.
Finding a parking space for nine reindeer and a big sleigh is hard in a crowded school parking lot. When I finally parked, I hopped out and ran to the school, ashamed of my “new ride.” Walking to my first class I noticed nobody looked at me differently; maybe nobody would know if I kept quiet. Out of nowhere my friends appeared. They bombarded me with endless questions concerning rumors about me. “Is it true you came to school in a sleigh and reindeer?” one friend buzzed excitedly.
“Are you really Santa Claus? Can you bring us presents?” another friend questioned insistently. Shocked and slightly embarrassed, I ran towards my first class. Everybody was looking at me now. They all probably knew; my friends aren’t known for their small mouths. Hushed whispers and wondering eyeballs followed my all the way to my first class, English.
I burst through the door of my English classroom sighing in relief as I sat down at my desk. Glancing up, I noticed everybody’s eyes on me. I looked around awkwardly, wondering if everybody in the school had already heard of my ailment. My English teacher started talking and I barely even heard her; I was drowning in my own thoughts.
“Jacobi,” my teacher said shaking me from the depths of my mind. Quicker than a child ripping open presents on Christmas morning, I jerked my head towards her.
“Yes ma’am,” I replied shakily, still kind of rattled from the morning’s discovery.
“You don’t have to do any work today and it will go in as an A in the grade book,” she offered cheekily and winked at me. Shocked that my teacher would try to bribe me with an A, I quickly shook my head, sat up straighter, and tried to look like I was paying attention. Even though I happened to be Santa Claus, my status didn’t prevent me from receiving cold glares from my jealous peers. Thankfully, it was that moment that the bell decided to ring.  Mentally rejoicing, I grabbed my bag and dashed out of the classroom and ran down the hallway to my next class.
I sat down in the back of the classroom, hoping to go unnoticed. Everybody filed into the seats around me as I kept quiet. My plan to remain hidden worked, and the rest of the class period progressed without a problem. Time flew by and before I knew it the bell for lunch rang, and everybody in the class zoomed out the door. I, however, was slower to get up and make my way out the door. At that moment, the only thing I wanted was some quiet time to myself to think about the eventful day that was transpiring.
I wobbled on shaky legs to the stairs that led to the roof. After I reached the roof, I sat down and took out my red and green lunchbox. I just needed to clear my head and think about actions that would have some inkling of me being Santa Claus. Maybe I was unconscious every time I went to deliver presents to the kids in the world. How would that have worked? An unconscious teenager just gliding through the sky while nine reindeer guided them through the sky isn’t very plausible. Maybe there’s some sort of inheritance factor in play here. My mom and dad did say that an uncle of mine had died recently. Funny thing is, he died from falling off a roof in the middle of winter… weird. Almost as soon as that thought crossed my mind, the bell interrupted my thought process and I hurried down to my next class.
“Care to tell us why you were late, Jacobi?” my P.E. teacher sneered at me. Mr. Holly had never liked me; you could say Mr. Holly wasn’t quite jolly towards me. Oh no! It hadn’t even been a full day and already I was making Christmas puns.
Once my hectic day was finally over, I ran as fast as I could to the bus. Then I remembered I had my own transportation home. My face dropped as I was robbed the joy of escaping my weird hectic day. I heaved myself to my sleigh, and noticed that one out of the nine reindeer was patiently waiting for me. Screaming was the number one thought on my mind as I stared back at the black-eyed reindeer.
“Do you have any idea where your friends went,” I glanced at the name tag, “Cupid.” I have no idea why I asked. It’s not like he could respond or even understand me. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised at that point if he did, in fact, respond to me. However, my hopes were in vain. Cupid looked me in the eye and glared at me as if this were my fault.
“Fine then don’t tell me,” I pouted childishly. How was I supposed to get home? Cupid alone couldn’t pull me and the sleigh both. I glanced up into the horizon noticing something in the distance. Suddenly they were upon me like snow on Christmas Eve. There were tons of them, too many to count. What were they? Why were they here? Why me? Why is this happening to me?
As quickly as they were on me they were off. I collapsed on the ground exhausted from the day’s events. Behind Cupid were all of those little creatures that had ambushed me.
“What are you guys?” I yelled out to the little creatures. They looked nervously from one another before one brave soul decided to speak up.
“We are the elves that help Santa in his workshop,” he (she?) spoke up meekly. The sudden realization swept over me they were Santa’s, MY, helpers.
“Does that mean you guys could help me find the rest eight reindeer that are missing? I have a birthday party tonight that I really can’t miss,” I asked sheepishly. The Elves vigorously nodded their heads and pulled out a whistle from each of their little pockets. Are you kidding me calling reindeer is as simple as blowing a whistle?
After the elves were done with their whistle blowing, they turned to me and giggled. I rolled my eyes playfully at them, which made them giggle even more.
“What are you laughing at?” I questioned the laughing elves. They said nothing, but they all simultaneously pointed their fingers to something behind me. I turned around and, for what felt like the millionth time, I screamed. Standing behind me were the eight missing reindeer of my sleigh.
“Shall we head home?” I asked the reindeer and the elves. Both the groups of Santa lovers nodded their heads. I attached the reindeer to their festive reigns and strapped all of the elves to the Christmas colored seats. However, there were not enough seatbelts for all of the elves. I improvised and used red ribbons from left over presents to tie the small elves to the sleigh. The reindeer trotted at a nice, relaxing pace to the place they now called home.
When we, the Christmas gang, arrived home, my parents were nowhere to be seen. I couldn’t believe they weren’t at home to give me an explanation. The elves were free to roam the house as they pleased, and the reindeer were happily fed in the garage. All I wanted was a nap to get away from the weird reality that was my life. As I climbed the stairs, I glanced at the mirror on the way up to my room. I couldn’t look away fast enough.
My room door slammed shut and I ran to the mirror and gasped in horror. My once beautiful thick brown hair had turned thin and white. There was a dense white beard in place of my once semi-hairless face. My bathroom contained many shaving razors so I grabbed three and went to work. I hacked at the beard inch by inch until there was nothing left. Once all of the hair from my beard was gone I pulled out the hair dye from under the counter. The dye was red, but all that mattered right then was that my hair wasn’t white.
Right as I was about to mix the dye together, I felt a weird tingling on my cheeks and chin. I glanced in the mirror and noticed my entire beard, the one that I spent an hour hacking, was back with a vengeance.
Horrified I slide down the wall and curled in upon myself. Crying seemed like a perfect way to end a horrible day. It was my birthday and not once did anyone say or sing happy birthday to me. I was the one who was asked to give the presents and I never received any. All of my friends had forgotten it was my birthday due to their selfish desires. I was sick and tired of the figure Santa Clause being used for all the benefits and never the consequences.
I looked up from my knees suddenly determined to change the face of Santa Clause as the world knew it. From then on there would be no more candy canes, Christmas rhymes, or anything that made Christmas slightly joyful. The world had better watch out because there was a new Santa Clause coming to town.

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