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The world is her oyster,but it is not in her hands. It's in the way the heads turn when they see her walking down the hall. They heard her confidence in every stride. The glossy strands of blonde bounce on her shoulders as she walks. She is the face of innocence, but her actions speak otherwise. Her piercing blue eyes steal the words out of people's mouths leaving them dumbfounded. The halls she walked in were white and the floor a blue marble. Chandeliers hung from the ceilings. There was sort of a skip to her walk and a evil in her smile. The red lipstick stuck out like a thumb with her white complexion and freckles scattered on her nose. The lady at the reception desk was new. You could tell by watching her trying to answer calls while doing a perfect job spilling coffee. She never noticed the lady walk past her into the door behind her.
It was the perfect office to her. The books were is order and the pencils were not crooked. The chair didn't squeak as she sat down. It was new because you could smell the new leather. The window was wide and you could see over the city. She thought it was funny that you could see into the other buildings and watch other people filing other papers.
“Hello”. She turned around to find a man standing there in a blue suite. His bald spot bothered her in a way that makes her wanna strap him down and shave off all of it. If you're not going to have all the hair why have any she thought. “Yes, Hello”- she twitched at his voice. It was to high pitched for a man. “Who let you in here”? He is a scrawny fellow it would be easy just to kill him. She looked over the man who had the most confused face. “I did of course”. She answered motioning to the leather seat across the desk. “I have a proposal”. Goldy said sliding him an envelope. He sat down cautiously looking over her body. He couldn't help think what it would be like to touch such a soft face. To get his hands on the pearl necklace that was strung around her neck lying just above her chest. Not taking off one glance he took the envelope. It was heavy and smelt like daisies. He looked in it to find five hundred dollars. “Do you love your family Mr.Eros”? She winked and slowly bit her lip. You could see his adam's apple move up and down as he swallowed his nerves. The sweat built on his shirt leaving stains. “I’m waiting for an answer”. She leaned forward showing her breasts slightly. He loosened his tie. “Yes, that's why you need to leave”. He got up to open the door. “I guess I could just kill your family”. She got up from the new leather chair and walked slowly over to Mr.Eros. He could hear the soft steps coming toward him. Her hands glided over his shoulders. “The five hundred is what your family gets now and after you kill yourself they get one million”. Her voice was smooth and seductive. The hot air blew against his ear as she whispered good things. That's all she needed to do. Later that day he was found dead hanging from his ceiling fan. There was no note and no money. There was never any money just guilty pleasure left from a broken women.
The house she lived in was not perfect because she did not live in a house. She lived in a room in a house. The yellow walls was not scratched not one nick. The bed was just right and her tea was room temperature. The comforter was white as could be;not one stain. The black desk with three pencils and one piece of paper. A yellow sticky note stuck to the left corner. Calming music played through her shuffle. There she sat in her chair that was just right. She wrote Mr.Eros a greedy man with no intention of loving his family murdered because he didn't pay back the loan. Killed by me Miss Goldy. The paper got tucked away with the rest of the murders. A silent unknown grave in her desk drawer. She didn't know who he was or why he couldn't pay back, but she felt a deep yearning for his appearance again. All though she persuaded him to kill himself this does not mean she wanted to. He had a family and a life. She sipped her tea slowly. Her gaze locked into her heart. Her mind went deep into places she hated to travel, and there she sat in a chair that was not hers. She ate food that was not hers. She slept in a bed that was not hers, and now she is not who she is. She now belongs to her worst version of somebody she hates. She hates herself. The tea smooth down her throat warmed her insides. The music stopped to the words love is hard, and it was ironic because she loved the girl she used to be, and now she can never go back.
“Hey Blondie”! The deeps thoughts blurred out of vision as her name was called. Before she left she went to unhook the necklace she thought was still on. Panic came to her but it was quickly dismissed as the Boss Man screaming her name. Opening her door the stench followed in her room. The stench of cigarettes and whisky traveled through the short halls of the two story horror house. The walls a nasty white smeared with dirt. The floor covered in trash. The empty needles shoved in corners next to the beer cans. On the way to her calling she had to step over a multitude of cloud nine users and whores. She was always appalled by the state at which the insides of the house looked like. Down stairs the the kitchen came first then the living room. There was only one room, but Goldy was told never to go in there. Nobody was allowed in there but the Boss man.
There he sat with a white tank top on and a cigar hanging from his lips. The burnt grape smoked filled the air. You could tell he was drunk the way he slurred his words. “You did a good jib”. She twitched and cringed every time he pronounced a word wrong. Thumbs up she gave him and started walking away back to her sanctuary. “Have a drink”. He poured her a shot of whisky. It’s poison. Her two finger grabbed the shot glass and sniffed it. She swears it singed her nose hairs. “Do it”! He laughed at her. No matter how much stronger she thought she was compared to the man drunk she felt inferior to him. So she swallowed the poison coughing up a storm. “I need water”. She said through her coughs. He handed her another glass with what seemed like water. She immediately spewed all over the table making a mess. He just laughed at her puffing on his fat cigar blowing more toxic fumes in the air. “Is there anything else you need me to do or can I leave the mess of a kitchen”? She stood up angrily her white face turning a cute red. The Boss rudely replied “ You can always take off your shirt”.
“You pig”! Miss Goldy too mad to stay in there decided to walk out of the place she never called home. The streets were quiet and calm. Outside the house a broken car sat in the driveway and a couple of bushes. You couldn't see into the house but you could see the duct tape stretched over the broken window. It's not the life she wanted.
It was about dark when she reached time square. Tons of people in roads honked their cars while she walked past them to the nearest pizza shop. Why don't they just walk or ride bikes instead of wasting time. The rest of the world didn't make sense to her. What made sense was extra cheese. The grease beaded off the cheesy slice of pizza that she enjoyed. She didn't hesitate although it was messy. Some sauce clung to her chin. No care in the world was given at that point as couples walked by mentioning her. One slice was left out of ten slices. In the corner of her eye she saw a little girl in rags with no sign. Not even cup to beg for money. The guilt she feels from killing washed over her. What if nobody else helps her? She couldn't stand that thought. The little girl deserved better. Picking up the last slice she walked across the street avoided busy cars. “Little girl”. She nudged her shoulder. The girl had such beautiful black hair. Her clothes all ragged and ripped. You could see the goosebumps on her arm from the cold night air. Her face bruised from early events. “Little girl”. She nudged a bit harder and the girl moaned. “I told you lady I’m fine”. Her voice was dry and sweet. “I have told you no such thing. Now you're going to wake up and eat this pizza”. Goldy went through too much trouble to walk away now. The little girl opened her eyes to see Goldy sitting next to her holding the scrumptious looking pizza. The grease in the crevices of the cheese rolled of the slice dripping onto the pavement. “Well, take it before I do”. Didn't last more than a minute, that little girl had swallowed the pizza in three sloppy bites. You could see the ribs through the thin clothing she had, they barely fit her skeleton like body. Miss. Goldy could feel heart drown, suffocate, her blood beginning to slowly stop to look at the little girl who never knew the feeling of a warm winter hug, and this pained her more than ever. “Thanks”. She fiddled with her long hair through her fragile fingers.
Without thinking Miss Goldy asked “Why don’t you come home with me”?
“What”? the little girl stood up grabbing the loose bag she carried with her. “No, I just met you. Besides I don't need anybody”. Miss goldy kept following the girl across the street and down the sidewalk. “That's what I thought” she yelled to her. “You came out great. I mean look at that suit”! No matter how many turns the girl took and no matter how many no’s she answered Miss Godly was persistent. “It's going to be cold tonight please”! Goldy beseeched the little girl. You could hear the desperation in her voice. She didn't think about the other people who lived in that house, but it was too late the girl at last said yes.
It was about midnight when they got to her living space. The back door was unlocked and the house was dead silent in the night. Not one noise was to be heard. The Boss man drunk sleeping on the kitchen floor and three men sat in the living room sleeping. Miss Goldy signaled her to be quiet as they headed up stairs through the mess. “Wow. Ocd much”? The little girl tossed her bag into the corner of Goldy’s room. “No, its cdo in alphabetical order as it should be”. The little girl giggled. Goldy started to unzip the back of her black dress shirt. You could see the white long scars across her back. They crisscrossed down her back like a matching test. One line across the other in a horrifying show. The little girl was appalled by the scars. She looked down at her own and shuttered. Next came her black sleek dress pants and not one single scar. Her legs were perfection just as her face was untouched. It was all so intriguing. Goldy opened up her closet door. All her clothes were color coordinated. The blacks were with the blacks and the reds were with the reds. She pulled out a black nightgown and slipped in on. “Do want something to sleep in”? She grabbed another and handed it out to the little girl. She took it and felt the smooth fabric across her dirty fingers. She felt like crying over a nightgown. It was a silly thing but to somebody who has never felt such a thing in so long is overwhelming. It was sort of an awkward atmosphere surrounding the room as both girls sat on the bed looking at each other. “How old are”? Goldy broke the ice.
“nine”. she replied in a single word. No more no less.
“What's your name”?
“Where is your parents”?
“Dead”. Sarah whispered holding in her tears. Goldy felt a responsibility towards this kid now.
She never knew if her parents left her or died. This had left Goldy with no real name, no home, no identity and, no love. All she remembers is stumbling across an open door with food and a bed. She remembers being woken up with a gun to her face and a angry man covered in blood yelling at her. Only thing she knew how to do was run and she did. She also was found and was taken back to the awful man. “What's your name”? He asked her wiping off the blood that was splattered on his face. “I don't know my name”. She couldn't hold it in anymore. She broke down crying and pleading to the scary man not to kill her. He laughed at this thing curled up in a ball on the floor crying. “You can not cry in this world. It makes you weak and people who are weak get shot”. With this said he forced the girl up on her feet. “Stand tall”! “Head high”! “Smile pretty”! “Make them beg for it”! The tears had stopped and there stood little Miss Goldy in rags. They dressed her up, taught her how to hold a gun and, named her Goldy. He did this because he told her that she would make him rich.
Now she sat looking at her own reflection but with black hair. “No”.
“No”? Sarah questioned her random remark.
“You can't become like me. You need to find a home with good people”. Her eyes fixated into Sarah’s as she grabbed her arms.
“This place is a bad place”.
“Then why are you here”?
“I can’t leave. They will find me again and again”. Sarah pushes Goldy’s hands off her and stood up in protest. “If you have to stay then so do I”.
“You don’t even know me, remember”?
“You gave me pizza and followed me around till I came here with you. You're a good person. I wanna be with you”. I have made a horrible mistake. “End of argument”. Sarah sat back down and crawled underneath the covers.
The morning dew sparkled on the grass making it look like new. It’s beautiful almost like snow. The tea warmed her cold body. Her breath turned into mist as she breathed. The house was frozen. The chattering teeth behind her got louder and louder. Sarah was cold even though she was underneath a warm comforter. Goldy covered her up with an extra blanket she had hidden away underneath the bed. On a note she wrote went to work please do not go out this room. She put in bold letters BAD PEOPLE OUTSIDE. Her kill list was in an envelope on the kitchen table. Before she went out the door the Boss Man came up to her. “Well hello Miss Goldy. You going to get me my money today”? He cracked open a beer. “I don't like having money missing. He rubbed his left hand on her cheek slowly going down her neck. She slapped his hand away. “Make them beg for it, remember”? His smug smirk showed his yellow grimy teeth. He took out his gun and held it against her face. “People like me” he paused “People like us do not beg. We take, we fight and, we kill whoever refuses”. The cold barrel of the gun made Goldy sweat under pressure. “It’s going to be fight that you will lose”. Goldy backed up against the door. He snickered a bit. “I raised you well I guess. Take the gun”. He took his finger off the trigger. “I haven't shot anybody in years. I am not taking the gun”. She proceeded to open the door. “Take the damn gun before you wish you hadn't slapped me”! He slammed his beer on the table. It splashed out onto his hand. The gun carelessly waved at her. “Take it”! He yelled again. Goldy shut the door realizing how serious the situation was.
“Who am I seeing today”? Goldy took the gun and tucked it behind her red shirt.
“Mr.Eros secretary. She is the only one with the code to transfer his money into my account. After she does that you need to kill her”. He said this with no hesitation. “His family didn't have the codes my men already took care of them”. Her breathing stopped for moment. They were only kids. Goldy opened the door and ran out of sight. The tears finally came . She never wanted to hurt anybody, but it was them or herself. She wished so badly that she had never came across that open door. She wished she had never met the Boss Man. I hate myself. The black streaks covered her face as she walked to the address they have given her.
Sarah woke up finding the note placed next to her. Next to the note she found a hot cup of water and two tea bags. It read morning dew and early worm. She choose the early worm and sipped it slowly enjoying every drop. The aroma filled the room with a earthy smell and relaxing atmosphere. Although she heard fighting in the other room she felt relaxed. She also heard women moan and groan while men argued about who got to go first. It was something she had heard before staying in facilities that let you stay for one night. She also heard it in her parents room the night they were murdered. Of course, then she was only three. Luckily the filthy men left her alive in her bassinet. Through the years she has been in foster care after foster care till she gave up and ran away. Nobody cared to look for her they all thought she would come back. They were all wrong.
Her curiosity grew after a while staying in the somewhat large room. She grabbed her bag from the corner. Inside there was a small blanket and a camera. It was one of those old fashioned types. She turned it around in her hands and smiled. In a small ziplock bag there was twenty photos all of her in different places. All of the places that were not home.
The black desk caught her eye and she went to explore. Everything laid out how it was before. She sat down in the chair and opened the drawer to find a single folder. I really shouldn’t look in her things but I don’t really know who she is. Sarah looked inside the newly found graves and found that every murder is signed Miss Goldy. I really thought she was good. She put the folder back carefully not to mess anything else up. The girl took her bag and put on her old shoes, but left the photo on the bed. The door creaked as it opened. She could see the girl on the floor jerking back and forth. The foam spilling out her mouth on the floor. A man full of tattoos ran to her tearing the needle from her hand. He then proceeded to inject himself with what was left. She felt like throwing up at the sight. She opened the door more not worrying about the drugged people on the floor. She quietly tip toed down the stairs. Her foot creaked on a floor board half way down. Her eyes grew wide but realizing nobody heard the mysterious creaking she walked on.
“What do you mean you don’t know if you killed the mother last night”! Sarah hears Boss Man yell at the three men standing in front of him. He shook his head back and forth. “Let me see your gun” he held out his hand waiting. The boys stood there in a nervous wreck. The youngest one gave up his gun. “Do I need teach you how to kill”? Nobody answered him. “It’s easy you point the gun and pull the trigger”. Smoke rolled from the end of the barrale. The youngest boy’s dead body lay limp on the floor. “Anybody else need to be taught”? The two left answered no in a hurry. “Good go and make sure the girl is dead”. They stood there looking at the dead body still bleeding on the floor. The blood started to spread to their feet. “Now”! Boss Man shouted. They ran out the door tripping over one another trying to get away.
How am I going to get out of here? Sarah looked at the straight run to the door, but she couldn't get there without being seen by the Boss Man. She could always take that chance and go for it. That could result in many different ways. She stood completely still as he walked right past her drinking a beer and a pound of coke in the other hand. He walked in the living room and sat down. She watched him shotgun his beer and make a line.
“Eric”! He shouted for a man she has not yet seen. She heard the footsteps behind her and she started to run for the door. Eric grabbed the back of bag and pulled her close. “We have a visitor Boss”. He dragged her into the living room. Floundering in his arms she bite him on his forearm and nothing happened. He stood there like rock. He smelled clean which matched his clean cut hair and clean clothes. You could tell he went to the gym often his muscles bulged out as he held her. “She was hiding at the bottom of the steps sneaking around. What do you want me to do with her”?
Boss Man stood up and felt her hair. Sarah stopped squirming and held her head high.Her mouth clenched tight and her eyes wide open. “Put her with the kids in the room. They go out to Russia tomorrow”. Eric pushed her to the door that nobody is suppose to go in. It opened to steps going down to another door that opened up to about twenty kids. They were all about her age sitting on a dirt floor. Eric pushed her in and she fell on a girl that held a stuffed animal close to her chest. “Sorry”. The door shut and locked.
The address lead Goldy to an apartment in a pristine; high class building complex. The secretary lived on thirty-fourth floor in room 365. The door was easily picked but the real challenge was to come. The apartment was to her liking. The walls a beautiful sea blue that made the white couch stand out. The silver granite was unscratched. The fireplace made out of earthy stones. A bookshelf held little knick knacks and books about the law stood with out any dust. Her laptop sat on the striped ottoman. Goldy could hear the shower in the distant. She grabbed the laptop and placed it on the round table placed by the french doors. She then carefully placed the loaded gun on the table. She sat down in the wooden chair. Nope. It’s to hard. Goldy then decided to stand patiently and wait for her next victim. She took the envelope to take a look at the name. Clara Holmes; single intelligent twenty year old lady. Five minutes later Clara exhausted and confused by the recent events had ventured out from the bathroom.
Her white towel wrapped around her outlining her beautiful curves enchanted Goldy. The brown hair straight down her back still dripping wet left puddles o the floor. “I know you”. Not one bit surprised by Goldy in her apartment she said “You're the lady that killed Mr.Eros”. Goldys face went went clever to scared. Clara walked to a drawer in her luxurious kitchen and showed Goldy a pearl necklace. “It must have fallen off ”. Clara’s head c***ed to side. She walked forward a bit. “If you think I’m going to give you the codes to the money you're wrong. He loved me. He said so himself. I would never betray him to criminal scum like you”. Goldy heard nothing of the rant that Clara had so viciously spewed out to her. Her eyes fixated on the pearls she had been holding in her hand. I thought I had put them away. Oh, no I messed up. I’m going to have kill her. Goldy’s hands shook as she grabbed the gun from table, but she could not bring herself to aim.
“I can’t kill you. I can’t do this anymore”. The gun fell to the floor making a thud like sound. “You were never going to kill me”. Clara threw the necklace at Goldy. She caught it in her hands and dropped that too. Clara had walked to the laptop and opened it. She taped on the keys more professionally than she had the day Goldy had seen her. In a few minutes she closed the lid and a guilty look had came upon her. Goldy at last picked up her head from looking at the necklace on the floor. “Why did you change your mind”? Goldy asked.
“You look like you're a good person. You don't fit the criminal look. You look like the person who wants to do the right thing”. Clara patted her on the back. “You should do the right thing”.
Goldy went back to grab Sarah and run away. Goldy decided that she was going to stop what she was doing. When she walked in only Eric and Boss Man sat in the kitchen chairs. “What’s going on”? She had a sense that something was wrong. Her pounded in her chest with thoughts of something wrong with Sarah. “Who was the girl in the house”? Boss man lined up another row and snorted the white powder. You could only imagine the adrenaline surging through his bloodstream. “Where is she Hades”? She stepped forward slamming the door shut. He threw the chair against the wall shattering it in pieces.
“I told you to never use my name”! His spit splattered against her face as he screamed up close pushing her into the living room. Eric followed barking at her “Remember last time you used my name”? He pushed her into the couch gripping her throat. “Do I have to remind you what happened to your back? Those awful; awful whips”! Goldy strained for a deep breath. Her fingers trying so hard to unlatch his hand from her throat. After a good minute he let go of her allowing her to roll off the couch on to the floor. There she found a dirty needle and grabbed it before being yanked on her knees by her hair. “You can have her Eric. Afterwards kill her. I do not need traders in this house”. Hades spit in her face and shoved her into Eric’s lap. She then quickly stabbed him in the leg and made a run for it. She didn't look back behind her she knew they were after her. She could hear their steps and barking blocks away. Screaming they sang.
“Blondy oh Blondy come back to me. We will show you happiness like never before”! It was a lie; a horrible lie. There was no happiness, no love, no kindness in their hearts. Goldy ran till she reached her favorite pizza shop. Her heart racing like never before. Her brain could not wrap around what was happening. A cop noticed her frustration and walked up to her. Goldy hugged him. She believed this was her first hug. Relief came over her body but still she had trouble speaking her words. The nice man named Oliver took her to the station. She saw all sorts of people including one of Hades man handcuffed to a chair. They sat her a white room with a mirror. A video camera was placed on a table. Oliver walked in with a slice of her favorite pizza dripping with grease. “Start from the beginning”. Oliver clicked on the camera and Goldy proceeded to eat and tell her story of how she came to be Miss Goldy. She started with the first day she came across the house to the time she shot her first victim. She admitted to killing Mr.Eros and finding a little girl on the street named Sarah. At time she cried and they would pause for her to let it out. She told them that they did something with Sarah and she wanted her to be safe. She also told them that she was a horrible person.
Plenty of cops showed up to Hades criminal ring and took him down. They handcuffed him and read his rights aloud to everybody who was arrested. They also forced him to open the doors to the room where the kids were held. They searched for Sarah who was found. She instantly asked for Goldy. They only told her sorry and handed her to a women with a security blanket. Hades ended up killing himself in jail waiting for his trial and his men got sent to Chicago's finest prion facility. Sarah ended up being sent to another Foster care. She only spent about a month there before being adopted by a nice family while Miss Goldy, spent twenty years in a detention center for women. There she had time to reflect who she was and who she is now. She realized she is a good person with horrible mistakes. It took some time but she did forgive herself for what she had done, and meaning time it meant everyday she sat in her cell writing in a journal about every man she killed. At times she confused the days and nights with each other until they collided to become one messy blur. At times Goldy decided that her name was no longer, that she would rather be called nothing than the monster she once was. She refused for the longest time, in denial she spent some night in the mental facility. The white walls were covered in a thick layer of foam to protect her body as she slugged herself upon the wall. She screamed and sometimes she hummed a melody till she fell asleep letting the salty tears dry on her cheek. I killed them. I killed them. I killed them. Was her constant thoughts for twenty years and on her twenty-first year she said “I am guilty, but I am human.”