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Travels and Tribulations

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Joey and Teresa, a married couple, are going on a cross-country drive from their native Chicago to visit Teresa?s parents in Burbank, California. At two in the morning, around mile five hundred, Joey is getting tired of staring at the open highway, fighting road rage, and rest stops. Eyes rimmed with red, he breaks up the silence in the hatchback.


?We should?ve just flown,? Joey said.

?But flying is so expensive,? insisted Teresa. ?Do you have any idea how much that would have cost us? We?re still paying off that stupid flat screen TV you insisted that you had to have.? She crossed her arms over her chest.

?It can?t be much more expensive than filling up the tank. This thing?s a guzzler. Plus hotel costs.?

?Maybe, but this is much less stressful. There are no departure times, no security, no flight delays. I swear I need to get back on my blood pressure meds every time I have to go to an airport,? Teresa said.

?Less stressful?!? Joey took his hands off the wheel to gesticulate, and Teresa promptly grabbed them and placed them back at ten and two. ?Try staring at pavement for hours on an empty stomach and a full bladder while listening to whatever that junk you had on the radio was. What was that? Eighties pop? It made my brain bleed.?

?Joey, come on. I offered to drive as soon as the sun comes up,? Teresa reminded him. ?You know what else I hate about airplanes? You?re stuck in this tiny room with a bunch of crying babies and people getting airsick and drunks. And you can?t get out.?

?You?re exaggerating. Flying is so much better. You just show up, get herded onto a plane, and take off. You can just take a nap, look out the window, read Sky Mall. Then, a few hours later, we?re off the plane and a short car ride away from your parents.?

?But didn?t you hear about that plane crash into the Hudson River on the news? And the terrorist attacks? I am not about to get killed in a plane crash. And being so high up?it?s terrifying,? said Teresa.

?You know, you?re more likely to get killed in a car crash than in a plane crash.?

?That might be true, but you?re the one operating the heavy machinery and I trust you. I?m supposed to let some guy I?ve never met, let alone trust, fly me thousands of feet in the air??

?I?m sure it?s much tougher to get your pilot?s license than your driver?s license,? Joey reasoned.

?When you?re driving, you can stop whenever you want, eat whenever and whatever you want. Plus, we?ll have the hatchback to drive in case we want to go somewhere while we?re visiting. We don?t want to impose on Mom and Dad,? said Teresa.

?We could?ve driven their car. I wouldn?t worry about ?imposing? on your parents after that time they stayed with us for a month.? Joey took a deep breath and prepared to enter rant mode. ?There was never any hot water after their power showers after they went out jogging in the morning. And they set off the alarm every single morning at five! Five. And if you didn?t want to impose on His and Her Highness, we could?ve just rented a car.?

?You?re so bitter, Joey,? Teresa snapped. ?They raised me and gave me everything I needed and now we are going to visit them because they want to spend time with us, and you?re talking like that about them! I?m glad we?re driving. I might just sneak out in the middle of the night and drive home without you. Leave you there. How would that be??

?We should?ve flown.?





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