Lazuli | Teen Ink

Lazuli

October 9, 2016
By Misslillyb SILVER, Louisville, Kentucky
Misslillyb SILVER, Louisville, Kentucky
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I was searching her room for something that would remind me of her. I need something, I am going to go insane without her. Ever since she died I can’t do anything without thinking about her. I must have really loved her. While I was walking around her room I saw a book that looked like a notebook of some sort. I decided to take from under the mattress. It read ‘Lazuli’s diary’. Tears started to roll down my cheek. I had this feeling that I should read the diary. As I opened the diary I had a bad but good feeling. I am going to need a big box of tissues.
August 20, 2016- Morning 6:30a.m.
Hi, my name is Lazuli. Yes I know it is a weird name. My parents said they named me after their favorite Steven Universe character- Lapis Lazuli. My parents are so weird. I do not know what they were thinking, all I know is that my name has been made fun of my whole life. Today is my first day of high school. I am thinking of telling everybody that my name is Layla. Yes, I know that means I would be telling a lie my first day of high school, but I think it is worth it. Maybe I will actually make friends this year too. The biggest question I should be worrying about is what I should wear, but I am not worrying at all. I am going to wear a Twenty One Pilots tank top with jeans and combat boots. My hair will be in two space buns. That sounds like a good outfit. I hope because apparently your first impression really matters in high school.
August 20, 2016- Lunch 12:00p.m.
I never thought that sitting at a table would be so important. I have nowhere to sit. Wearing an emo band tank top was a really bad idea. I think people think I am actually emo so they are scared of me.  Also the Layla idea has failed. Every teacher has called me Lazuli, even after I requested for them to call me Layla. Of course everybody in my class started to make fun of me. Great. What were my parents thinking? My life is just like it was when I was in middle school, all I have is my diary. I would just like to say that high school cafeteria food is terrible.
August 20, 2016- Math 2:00p.m.
There is a really cute boy in front of me. What do I do? I don’t know how to talk to boys. All I know is that in movies the girl always pretends not to know math and asks the guy to help her. I don’t want to do that. I like math. It soothes me to work with numbers and variables. Maybe I should just ignore him until he notices me first. I am stupid. A jock-like boy will never notice me, the nerd. Or the girl with the weird name. AAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! I hate my life right now. I should probably be paying attencion to math.
August 20, 2016- Night 1:00a.m.
My first day of high school was a bust. It could have gone better than it did. I just want to binge watch YouTube and eat a lot of food. I didn’t think high school would be so hard. The school part is easy, but the social part is really hard. And I still haven’t forgotten the hot jock in my math class. I want to just forget him. I don’t understand high school. Everyone says it was one of the best years of their life, but it isn’t like that for me. UGHH I am going to go to bed now because it is currently 1:30a.m.
August 21, 2016- Morning 6:30a.m.
I bet you are wondering why in the world I get up so early in the morning. Well, I do like to stay up late, but I am a morning person. School starts at 9:00 and I like to do a little morning jog every morning. I might seem like a person that would never think about running, but I enjoy running. I am considering joining cross country at school. People might hate me though. I will probably join. I need to start my jog now.
August 21, 2016- Morning 8:30
Wow I just realized that I am obsessed with a diary. I cannot let anyone know about this. So if you are reading this diary please don’t tell anyone about it. You will ruin my life if you tell someone about the diary. I need to come up with a plan about how I am going to deal with the hot jock that sits in front of me in math. The only problem is that I don’t know how to talk to a boy. I guess I will have to think about it. Maybe a good step will be to get his name first.
August 21, 2016- Math 2:00p.m.
I found out that his name is Sebastian. That is such a cute name. It makes me want to talk to him even more.

Why is it so hard for me to read her diary? I don’t understand. Every time it mentions me I feel like my heart is breaking into two halves. It only reminds me of the day she died. I can never forget that day.


The author's comments:

I hope that you take out that it is not okay to 'other' people. Everyone is amazing in their own way. 


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