It's Time

"It's time."

 

I stand up. The handcuffs dig into my wrists as I move them.

 

After a week, still nothing has changed. I'm still a criminal. I'm still going to die. I'm still accused.

 

Am I afraid of death? I have trained myself to feel a numbing sensation in my heart, but I am trembling a little.

 

Why hadn't I spoken up? Why hadn't I told them that I hadn't killed the prime minister? Why didn't I tell them that someone framed me, making me come to that building where the shot was from? Why didn't I tell them that I didn't buy that gun? Why?

 

I had accepted, no, welcomed this death sentence. I had told them that it was my fault. That the blood of the prime minister was on my hands. I had lied to them.

 

After Marina and I had divorced, and after the death of my only family and friend, I felt no desire to live. Life was without a meaning without anyone to share it with... except her...

 

Walking through the brightly lit hallway, I think about what I had done with my life. My heart was once full of love, but now it was a million pieces, shattered on the cold, hard ground. Shasha had gone along with Devin in the car crash. After I had moved to America when I was ten years old, I never had the courage to make another friend except for Devin and Marina.

 

We reach the door. The man ahead of me opens it for me.

"Daddy!"

 

I jerk, and turn around.

 

Panting behind me, a little girl, about five years old, is there, staring at me.

 

"Ti... Tina?" I find myself at a loss for words.

 

"Where are you going, Daddy? I followed you!" She stamps her foot.

 

"Tina..." How can I explain to her, that I was throwing my life away? And why was I giving up life when she is still there? Why am I giving up life when she's still there for me...?

 

"Daddy! Come! Let's go back home!"

 

I look at the man who was leading the way. He nods, as if he was saying I could talk to her.

 

I crouch down so that I could meet her eyes. "Tina... Daddy's... gonna be away for a long, long time."

 

"How long?"

 

"Really long. Promise me, that you'll be a good girl."

 

"But I want you to come home!"

 

I stare at her bright blue eyes, her wavy brown hair, her stern lttle mouth. "I'm sorry, honey, but I can't."

 

"Why?"

 

"You'll understand when you're older."

 

"But I want to go now! With you!"

 

I stand up.

 

"Bye, Tina."

 

"Daddy..." The ends of her mouth curl downward.

 

I went into the room, staring ahead of me, trying not to look back. Tina just stands there, staring at my back. The man was about to close the door...

 

"Tina!" I turn around suddenly and rush forward, wrapping my arms around her.

 

"Daddy!" She cries.

 

Tears that I had held in for so long start to flow down my face, as I exchange my final moments with her. She cries too, clutching onto me. Perhaps she knew that this was the last time she was going to see me. We hug each other, crying onto each other's clothing, making sobbing sounds that echoed in the hall.

 

The man watches, indifferent to what was happening in front of him, but he doesn't interfere.

 

"I am sorry, Tina." Four simple words, only twelve letters, yet so full of emotion. In those four words, I told her that I was sorry, truly sorry that I wasn't going to be there, wasn't going to stay for her, wasn't going to be there to love her.

 

She kept on crying, the tears making a tiny puddle on the ground.

 

Finally, I get up, my knees wobbling as though my bones were made of jelly. I look at the man. His eyes seem all knowing, as if knowing that I hadn't commited the crime that I was accused of.

 

"It's time."

 

I enter into the room, the door closing behind me.

 

Bye, Tina...






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ArtsyAuthor This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 6, 2016 at 5:59 pm
I meant the title to be, "It's Time," not the crazy, "It's13$#;s Time"...
 
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