Elvira's Sketchbook

January 27, 2009
By ariana haase BRONZE, Watertown, Wisconsin
ariana haase BRONZE, Watertown, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Elvira was turning sixteen on September 10th, 2007. She went to school that morning like she had every other day. In third period she sat in the fifth row of desks, and when all the students piled in, the art teacher Mrs. Watts began class.

'Alright, everyone, this is the easiest unit we are having this year. You are to draw in what ever media you choose a topic of your choice to put in the art show.' Mrs. Watts told the class.

But Elvira was far from the assignment, with her sketch book open and a couple pencil marks, she was in her dreamland. 'Elvira? Elvira! Miss Rayban, would you please pay attention!' Mrs. Watts scolded.

'What?' Elvira said coming back to reality. Her pencil fell to the floor. She bent over to pick it up.

'See me after class, Miss Rayban.' Mrs. Watts said calming her voice a little.

'Yes ma'am.' Elvira murmured. Mrs. Watts continued to tell the class about the school's art show. Elvira found her way back to her dreamland when the bell rang.

'Elvira, come here please,' Mrs. Watts called. Elvira walked slowly over to her desk. 'Hand me your sketchbook,' she said. Elvira deliberately gave her art teacher the book. She flipped through the pages of the book, and on the last drawn on page, her eyes widened as if frightened. 'Elvira have you considered drawing something happier?' she asked. Elvira shook her head. 'I'll tell you what. You draw something for the show and get first and I'll give you ten extra credit points.'

'Okay. Deal, but I'm not doing anything all pretty princess.'

'All right have it done by tomorrow,' Mrs. Watts said excusing Elvira.

Elvira hurried down the hallway to the lunchroom. Today's lunch was meatloaf. Elvira cringed at the thought of what was in it. She took her tray over to the table and sat down. Her best friend Madison plopped her brown paper bag lunch next to Elvira's tray of brown chunky ooze. 'The lunchroom is packed! I'm surprised there is enough room to breathe.' Madison whined.

Madison Sterling always gets claustrophobic at lunch, and there was a good reason for it. 'Oh by the way, Happy Birthday girlie!' Madison said.
'Thanks. Mrs. Watts says I need to put a project in the art show, or she'll fail me.' Elvira complained stretching the truth. Madison flipped her jet-black hair in disgust.

'That's not fair. But, considering the circumstances, what are you gonna put in the show? The one with the girl staring out the window?' Madison asked. Madison always loved her best friend's art. Elvira shrugged.

Suddenly, the bell rang for the end of lunch. Elvira hadn't eaten any of her lunch, but she took off down the hall for Algebra. After lunch the afternoon classes always went by fast.

After 3:10pm Elvira walked the five blocks to her house. Her parents gave her the presents they had bought her. They would spy on what she looked at on the Internet and buy the most looked at item. Elvira ripped open the paper and opened the box from her father. It was a necklace she had seen in a Hot Topic store. The black leather choker had a sterling silver charm of a bat hanging from it. Next was her mother's gift. She ripped it open and opened the big box. It was a skelanimals Diego the bat hoodie.

'Mom, Dad I love them. Thank You so much.' Elvira smiled. Her parents hugged her. Her mother had made Elvira's favorite for dinner, spaghetti. Her father had made a special cake with the help of her little brother, Drake (he was a freshmen). Devil's Food with fudge frosting.
'Happy Birthday, Bat Girl.' Drake cheered looking at his sister with his icy blue, baby eyes.
'Thanks, Drake.' Elvira said. After they had finished eating she ran up the stairs to her room. She opened the door, walked in, and closed the door behind her. Plopping herself down on her floor next to the bed, she turned on her cd player really loud and blasted her Bullet for My Valentine cd. She looked around her room. It was her retreat from the outside world. The walls personally painted by Drake and herself were midnight black, as were her curtains. Her goose down comforter was the color of coal. Her walls were filled with rock band posters. She then started work on her art piece.
In two hours the drawing was finished. It was a portrait of Romeo and his Juliet, still a little disastrous but happier. She examined it gingerly. Drake knocked on the door and came in. 'Hey I forgot to give you your gift.' He said handing a rectangular object wrapped in black paper to her. She smiled and took the package. Ripping it open she gasped.
'Oh my gosh, you didn't did you? You did. Twilight one two and three and four! I love you!' Elvira screamed. She hugged him tight.
'Can't breathe, you're hurting me.' Drake gasped for air. Elvira smiled. 'What did you draw?' Drake asked.
'Romeo and Juliet, on a happier note. It's for the art show at school.' She answered with a sigh.
'Cool! I hope you get first. You deserve it with all the time you put into those.' Drake remarked.
'Thanks, I'm going to need it to pass class.' Elvira told him.
The next morning Elvira got ready for school in half an hour. She grabbed her drawing and her backpack and ran out the door. As she walked down the painted street, she had doubts if anyone would like her picture. She quickened her steps so if she decided otherwise it would be too late. She hurried down the hallway and found Mrs. Watts in the art room. She shoved her art piece into the art teacher's lap. 'Here. I didn't frame it I hope it's okay.' Elvira said.
'Perfect, the show starts at 2:00 and the whole school comes down to see. And at 3:00 I will tell you how you did.' Mrs. Watts smiled. Elvira nodded.
The first part of the day went by as slow as molasses on a cold winter's day. But after lunch period the whole day seemed to switch to light speed.
It was almost 2:00. Elvira was in English class. She was daydreaming about the boy she had a crush on for like ever. His name was Victor. She listened in and out through the whole class and every once in a while she would doodle his and her name in black hearts. Then the bell rang. It was 2:00.
She left for the gym where the art show was to be held. She examined every single art piece there at least twenty times. When it was finally 3:00 she took a breath. 'Elvira,' Mrs. Watts smiled, 'Congratulations. You got first place. Tomorrow I will add those points to your grade.' Then the art teacher went searching for all the other artists who had won a place.
Elvira felt something she hadn't felt before. She couldn't decide whether to jump for joy, run to the bathroom and throw up, or yell from the top of the school. 'Elvira, that picture was yours?' Victor asked flipping his jet-black hair out of his face.
'Yea I drew it last night from memory. I remembered because it was my favorite part of the movie in English.' She answered blushing a little.
'Really? I thought I was the only one in this place who liked the movie.' He answered, 'Hey do you want to celebrate your first place with ice cream at Culver's?'
'You know what? I'd love to.' She said.

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This article has 7 comments.

on Mar. 18 2011 at 10:59 am
DoodlezTheScribe BRONZE, Keswick, Other
4 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne."
— Dorothy Parker

I think you need to comb through a little with the help of an editor, but other than that, it's a nice story. I love the character and how you describe her surroundings. Your dialogue seemed forced,  but other than that, good job =)

on Oct. 24 2010 at 10:55 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

It kind of seems like your story doesn't all connect very well. Kind of like, when you wrote the part about all the details about what her family did for her birthday, it was irrelevant to what the story is about. Try not to go too much off topic. Otherwise, it's really great!

paperflowers said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 2:06 pm
paperflowers, Imaginary, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 176 comments
parts that I love: spaghetti is one of my favorite foods - it's a tie between pasta and strawberries :) I also like how her brother gets her just what she wanted and she hugs him - that was sweeth. This story is pretty good but it feels kind of like you're missing commas and each sentence feels rushed and to the point... I'm not really sure how to describe it but you write just like my best friend, lol :) there's also this sentence "Madison Sterling always GETS claustrophobic at lunch, and there WAS a good reason for it." in which you switch between present and past tense in the middle of the sentence. other than that, I liked it! good job :)

kylove GOLD said...
on Aug. 30 2009 at 2:56 am
kylove GOLD, Sacramento, California
11 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Principles only mean something if you stick by them when they're inconvenient,"
- Laine Hanson (Joan Allen) in The Contender (written by Rod Lurie)

I agree in part with HurdlesStar.

I loved your story, and the ending was surprising! I think that Victor should've had a sooner introduction though. I think that writing like any other teenager is okay sometimes, as long as you have your own voice and you did. I think that the story would've been AMAZING in first person. Keep on writing. And I'd love to read some of your first person pieces, and maybe some more from Elvira, eh? Good luck!

on Jul. 3 2009 at 6:09 am
LakeTownGirl GOLD, Lake Stevens, Washington
13 articles 17 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss

I loved this. I wasn't expecting the ending in a way. I love the story. It's very colorful with detail except for a couple parts where you wrote like any other teenager. It would have been great if you were writing from her point of view, but for some reason they didn't seem to fit in the way you told it.

Very imaginative. Great work =]

meh said...
on Mar. 1 2009 at 3:00 pm
Nice job!! Keep up the good work.

elvis said...
on Feb. 28 2009 at 4:11 pm
The story is wonderful and shows lots of potetial. she should keep writing and making longer stories. keep up the great work

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