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Keeping A Secret

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I'm chained against the wall with my own words. The words I've never said.

I got myself here, and now I can't get out. I crave to break free; I'd do anything to get out of the situation. Almost anything.

The pain stops me.

My heart aches as I lay against the wall; the pain gets worse as I remember. When I remember what had got me here in the first place. It was so easy.

Silence.

I knew, but I said nothing. My knowledge hurt me more than anything. More than what I saw. What I saw just contributed to the pain. I saw what I could have prevented. But I just stood there. I was a backstabbing by stander.

What had stopped me?

Loyalty? What kind of loyalty leaves you scarred by your own actions? What kind of loyalty chains you to the wall? The word disgusts me. It makes me want to throw up. Loyalty is a lie. When loyalty to someone brings another pain is it really worth it?

So what possessed me to do what I did?

What I didn't do. Fear? Fear of letting others know, fear of giving them pain. Fear of trpping them as I am now. The pain I'm stuck with.

How heroic!?

How much did I really help? They were still hurt in the process, weren't they? I had no choice on the subject. I could only choose in which way I'd hurt them. Secrets can be so devious.

Secrets win every time.




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