Dear whoever reads this,
My name is Scarlet Ann. You may not know who I am, because the name does not match the body that you just found. you know me as Joshua. I am not who you think i am. Being who I am, and nobody knowing about it. Is the thing that killed me. My life is a big confusing lie, that I cannot bare to live anymore. I can’t live in fear anymore. I can’t take being in this body. I cant live my whole life like this.  It was` slowly and painfully tearing me apart. I’m sorry that I was’t who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry that i have done this to myself. Then again, I’m not. I can’t imagine being on this planet any longer, and knowing that I am not me. I am trapped inside of this hideous body of a man. Now I am free. Now I am in a place where i can’t bother you. Mom, Andrew, now you won’t have to worry about me forgetting to feed the cats. You won’t have to deal with me forgetting to feed the fish. You won’t have to deal with my attitude, or  paying for me. Now you are free. Please make sure though, that you pay attention to Emily. You two always think that I am forgetful of things. Which to some extent is true. At least i take care of your child. At least i care about her. It may not seem like i do important things to you two, but to Emily. I do everything for her. I was her mother, not you. I was the one who cared, I was the one who stayed up with her until she fell asleep, because she didn’t want to be alone. I was the one who made sure that she was on time to pre-school. That she did the things that needed to be done. You never did anything for her. Or for me. So please, make sure she's okay. She's the one that needed me. Its to late for that though. I can’t even think for myself. So how the hell am I supposed to think and care for her. Be a parent for once please. Not for me, but for Emily. Your other daughter. I have put together a box for Emily. In it is all the things i have left for her and want her to keep. Tell Caroline and Matthew that I said I’m sorry and that I love them. I’m sure this won’t matter much to them though. Well, I have the gun on my desk. I’m just waiting till i calm down so I don’t miss or back out. You know most people are like Dorothy, from the Wizard of  Oz. They have a plan. They have a path, and they know the direction they want to go in. For me, I never got my yellow brick road. I just end up like the Wicked Which of the East. I die. Maybe not from a house crashing down in front of me, but from peoples words. Hitting me over and over. People, especially you Andrew. After you married my mom. Our family fell apart. You made us feel worthless. My mom was blinded by it though, because you treat her like  a princess. At least you do know how to treat people like humans. You didn’t treat Emily and I like that, that’s for sure. So please, now that I’m good. Someone take care of Emily. She doesn’t deserve to feel the way I do. Especially from the only family she has left. Please tell her that she’s beautiful. Every girl should know about her beauty. You sure never told me of mine. When people did use my correct name, pronouns, and identity. It was always so negative. I’m not a “fag”. I’m just another girl. Who was born with an unfortunate suite. So please, don’t let her believe the words people say about her or me. Let her know how much her big sister loved her. Let her know that i am up above watching over her now. I always will be. Let her know that she meant the world to her big sister. If she cant understand what happened to me, tell her this. That i was a caterpillar, who wanted to be a butterfly. In order for a caterpillar to become a butterfly, the old body has to wither away, in order for the caterpillar to become a butterfly. So thats what I did. I swear Andrew, if you ever lay a hand on her again. Or touch her like that again. I swear I will find a way to make you feel that pain. Well…. It’s now 1:32 am on December seventh. Happy Holidays. Make sure you give Emily her christmas presents from me. I love you Emily. I love you mom. Caroline, Matthew, i love you guys too. Andrew…..
Well theres nothing left to say but Goodnight. See you in another life.
Scarlet Ann

As Scarlet finished writing the note, she picked up her phone. She texted Caroline, saying “Bye Caroline, I’ll miss you….. take good care of Matthew.”  She took her tear covered paper and put it on the edge of her bed. Took the box of stuff for Emily. Including the presents she had bought for her. Put them on her desk with a post it saying ‘for emily’ .  She picked up the gun. Payed down on her bed. Closed her eyes, smiled. With his last breath she said “God, give me wings of a butterfly, so i can fly up to heaven with you”. Then she pulled the trigger. With the loud boom, her sister Emily came running to her.
She opened the door, went to her sister and said with her sweet voice. “Joshy?” she said it softly. “Joshy?!” She was scared. As she played there Emily screamed her name. “Joshy!! Wake up! Answer me! Josh I’m afraid!” She hugged her. Latched on tight to her, screaming and crying. Finally her mom ad stepdad came into the room. “Mommy why isn't Joshy answering me!” said Emily. She didn’t have an answer. She just felt Numb. She fell to the floor, sobbing, as she looked up at her dead daughter. She saw the note but couldn’t bare it pick it up to read it.
After Andrew called 911, he went over to the letter and read it. He was emotionless. He said to his wife, Carol, “Well, what he said was true.” Carol looked at him while grasping her stomach, trying to breathe. “Now we won’t have to deal with another kid anymore. Especially a freak like him”. Carol couldn’t believe what she had heard. She went over to Emily, who was still a disaster on top of her sister. She was now soaked in blood. Her tears were drying on her face, as she now just felt numb.
The ambulance showed up finally. They had to drag Emily off of her. As they pried Emily off of Scarlet, she was screaming “Mommy what happened?!?! Why is he all red?!?!” Carol began to cry. She didn’t know how to tell her what had happened. She grabbed the note as the EMT’s took Scarlet out of the house to the hospital. Carol went with Scarlet onto the ambulance, and Andrew bathed Emily and changed her. He got two overnight bags set up and a cooler to keep in the car.
He took Emily and they went to the hospital. Emily had a Scarlets teddy bear in her hands. One of the many things that Scarlet had left for her. She was still crying and screaming for her. After three days and nights of being at the hospital, Emily fell asleep on her sister for one last time, as they took Scarlet away. Emily took the bracelet that Scarlet was wearing. It was a trans pride bracelet. She put it on the teddy bear.
It was four days later. They were preparing the funeral. Emily would wake up in the middle of the night screaming her name. They still hadn’t gone into his room. They decided it was time to face the truth and go in. They got Emily’s box out and went through it with her. Emily and her mom were crying. Her stepdad was in the corner of the room, sitting on the recliner in the family room. There was the teddy bear that she already carried with her everywhere. A book, Scarlets sketch book, a picture of them in a frame. They were dressed as princesses. There was a small purse that was blue with a studded flower on the bottom right corner. There was a butterfly necklace she had bought her. And a blanket that there dad had made for Scarlet when she was a baby.
The funeral was that night. So they decided to wait till tomorrow to look through the rest of the room. They styled her hair, and put her in a blue lace dress. She held one white, pink, and blue rose. Her casket was covered in flowers and butterfly decals. thirty two people showed up. Including Caroline and Matthew. After everyone had left her grave sight, which was right next to her dads grave. Andrew stayed and sat down next to her.
“Scarlet,” He said. “I’m sorry that i wasn’t a better father. Im sorry that i didn’t show how much I cared about you. I’m sorry for what i did to you and your sister. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m such an awful person. I’m sorry for ripping your dress off of you the first time i saw you in one. You really did look beautiful. I know i should’ve told you more often.” He was sobbing and had his head in his hands. “This doesn’t even matter now, because I was to late. I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t. I can’t believe i didn’t tell you sooner. I’m sorry that I’m to late.” Andrew kissed her gravestone that said “Scarlet Ann Bolton. 5/17/99 — 12/07/14. May her wings let her fly into her happiest dreams”.

The next day, they went into her room. They avoided the blood soaked bed and walls. They went through the closet and desk. They found some things to out around the house, or to give to Emily. As they were looking through, all three of them were crying. Caroline and Matthew came over as well to help. They took one or two things home with them. Some things they were going to put in the school where people had put up a memorial for her. As they cleaned up the bed, walls, and floor. Andrew noticed a shape on the wall. It was a butterfly. He went back to the note. He felt like it resembled something in it. he read “If she cant understand what happened to me, tell her this. That i was a caterpillar, who wanted to be a butterfly. In order for a caterpillar to become a butterfly, the old body has to wither away, in order for the caterpillar to become a butterfly. So thats what I did."