Time of Death MAG

January 15, 2009
By Grace Hoo Hoo BRONZE, Palatine, Illinois
Grace Hoo Hoo BRONZE, Palatine, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The first death on your watch isn’t even your fault. You’re just one of the many interns who rush to the bedside when the code is called, peering at the doctors crowding around. As the patient gasps and chokes, you too gasp and choke as each electric shock blasts through the body. The doctors are grim-faced but determined; you hopelessly wonder why they even bother. Again and again the voltage is cranked up, but thunderbolts can only do so much.

The doctor holding the paddles slowly turns away from the flaccid flesh and another quietly asks, “Time of death?” You back away, feeling as if the defibrillator was really meant for you as your heart pounds out its own furious pace. A devastated mother takes your wrist. “Time of death?” she whispers, mis­taking you for a doctor, someone who tried his best to resuscitate her darling daughter, someone who knew what he was doing, someone with guts enough to challenge death. Not a first-year intern who never could remember which number was the systolic for blood pressure, not someone who didn’t even dare to take blood sugar levels.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” you blurt. “You’ll be able to talk to the doctors inside …,” you mumble, patting the trembling hand. She bites her lip and nods, letting go of the scrubs that you shouldn’t be wearing, the scrubs reserved for those who can save lives, not for those who don’t even know how to gently break death to a loved one.

The third death is similar, only this time you’ve been dragged along for scut work. You’re the one ramming your hands into the sternum, trying to force the fluttering heartbeat into your rhythm. You’re the one leaping out of the way of the defib paddles, jumping back to start compressions again. The patient bottoms out, but after the paddles thunder a third time, you can feel the thump of the heart, tangoing with yours as you collapse against a chair, arms quivering with strain. You shudder with relief. You brought him back. You saved him. You.

The eighteen death is the hardest. That little baby in neo-natal care should never have been forced to live on machines. Each breath is a struggle, and the medications are flowing in a poisonous concentration for such a small body, yet the parents insist on continuing the farce of life. They’re unwilling to bear any grief while their baby boy wheezes and thrashes weakly, seeking comfort but receiving only the hard embrace of a hospital cradle and the groan of machines.

The mother shrieks, “He’s blue! Do something!” After you reach the crib and despair at the readouts, you motion the code team away and beckon to the mother and father.

“The best thing for him is to take him off the machines,” you say.

The dad glares. “You want to kill him.”

They don’t understand the torture they have put him through. “If he even survives a year, he will be severely physically and mentally disabled. For life,” I persist.

The mother moans, “He’s blue! I don’t care. Just save him! Now!”

You nod at the code team, maneuvering yourselves around the tiny crib and pulling off the oxygen mask, trying to fit your large palms against the flimsy baby with his face scrunched up in a silent wail. The heart drugs aren’t having any effect due to the amount of medication already flowing through his body.

“Use the shocker!” the mother wails.

“We can’t!” you snarl, trying to give compressions to a weak chest and an even weaker malformed heart. “Your baby is too small and his heart is deformed! If we do, we’ll kill him!”

The code leader shakes his head. “Time of death ….”

“No!”

“3:36 p.m.”

The thirty-third death is the best death. You’re the one in charge. If a code is called, you will wield the paddles, call out “Clear!” You have the final say on time of death if it occurs. You won’t let those words pass your lips.

But she smiles at you through her pure white hair. “I’m ready to leave. Are you ready to let me go?”

You sob, throw down the clipboard. “No, Mom! I don’t want you to.”

She still wears the tender smile of years past as her body wastes away and shrivels to a mere fraction of her vitality. “But it’s necessary. I need you to. And you know it.”

“Mom ….”

And she brushes her hand against yours, squeezing it once before closing her eyes. “You’re ready.”

You kiss her cooling cheek then note: “Time of death: 9:12 a.m., Thursday, April 24 ….”



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This article has 295 comments.


on Oct. 9 2011 at 3:52 pm
Rocinante SILVER, Wexford, Pennsylvania
7 articles 1 photo 387 comments
Oh wow this is amazing! It is so touching and beautiful! Oh my gosh... <3

on Oct. 9 2011 at 10:14 am
Ayushi_austen BRONZE, Kolkata, Other
3 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer...

this is awesome...ur order of writing is very commendable!!! keep up d good work!!!!!!and the writing!! 

on Oct. 9 2011 at 3:26 am
Smile-And-Wave-Boys. SILVER, Rotherhithe, Other
8 articles 1 photo 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
— Oprah Winfrey

Wow! Definetly one of my favourites on this site!

on Oct. 5 2011 at 11:05 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

... My heart is racing in my chest. This story... I must add it to my favorites! It's so good, so compelling, so... Emotional. :)

on Sep. 17 2011 at 5:37 pm
LeahNicole SILVER, Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania
9 articles 1 photo 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't let life drag you down when things start to get overwhelming & challenging. Just don't give up & try your best in everything you do and just give all you got, it will pay off in the future.

This is really good, probably one the best thing fiction articles I've read on here!

on Aug. 27 2011 at 2:25 pm
believetheunbelievable BRONZE, The Woodlands, Texas
1 article 1 photo 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
\"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says \'I\'m possible\'!\"
— Audrey Hepburn

My heart was pounding 500 times a second....so suspenseful...

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:02 pm

This story is so sad, but I love the perspective that you used here.

Also, could everyone please read my story called "Purple-Face Tom"? it is my first ficition article on this site.


on Aug. 26 2011 at 6:49 pm
spiritiris BRONZE, Blacksburg, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing a story is like driving through the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can get the whole way that way."
~E. L. Doctorow

I really loved the honestly emotional, brutalness of the situation. I mean, some people deal with death every day, and I loved how you showed that.

on Aug. 26 2011 at 5:13 pm
XxXBella.AmoreXxX, That Small Suburb By Manhattan., New York
0 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But can you love someone, who doesn't love you back?"




" I'd rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints"

oh my god! tht was ahmazing i luved it!!

on Aug. 26 2011 at 12:26 pm
DarknessForever13 SILVER, Gainesville, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
Quoth the Raven: "Nevermore!"
"What's right isn't always popular, but what's popular isn't always right." - Unknown

This was amazing, and it hit close to home for me, My father passed away six years ago, so I know what the charcter is feeling. Really great plot, and realism. Keep up the good work!

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:53 am
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

Unpredictable, completely...I'm wondering why you wrote this..did a loved one in your family really pass away? Very sad, but I loved it <3

on Aug. 4 2011 at 7:54 pm
Alex_Durham GOLD, Vineland, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 234 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I loved this!!! It was so unexpected and completely original!!! Keep writing!!!

on Aug. 4 2011 at 4:05 pm
SocialPariah GOLD, Laurel, Maryland
16 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
A dream is just a recycled memory.

  I really liked this.  Very well written.  I'll probably be reading some more of your stories from now on hehe :)

on Aug. 4 2011 at 10:16 am
atimm2013 SILVER, Hartselle, Alabama
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

that was great and unexpected!

hebos97 SILVER said...
on Aug. 4 2011 at 8:28 am
hebos97 SILVER, Kincardine, Other
6 articles 8 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

WOW!  That was amazing!  The end really was unexpected but it gets you thinking about things in life.  Keep up the awesome work!

on Aug. 4 2011 at 8:16 am
thewritersdesk BRONZE, H-Town, Maryland
4 articles 11 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Your goals, minus your doubts, equals your reality."

Wow, this is a great story. Your diction and imagery is wonderful, your plot realistic. 

on Jul. 17 2011 at 11:36 am
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

I loved the story! and was impressedut great!! sad b Great job! (Sorry for the advertizing!) If any of u coulld read my two stories called the beast and nightstalker, that would be great! Also please post comments saying if u liked it or not. Thanks! And keep writing! :D

on Jul. 13 2011 at 5:32 pm
HollyBell BRONZE, Orpington, Kent, Other
3 articles 0 photos 23 comments
This was really good. I loved it. Well deserved to go in the magasine. It's inspired me to actually get off my bum and put some of my ideas into words! :D Well done.

Ally_H. GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 12:12 pm
Ally_H. GOLD, Bridgeport, West Virginia
18 articles 26 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don\'t matter and those who matter don\'t mind.

This was absolutely and completely amazing. I'm sitting here sobbing just thinking about it. Please continue writing :)

Mystiecub said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 9:19 am
wow, I LOVE how you put this article together, it's really emotional and makes your reader think.


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