Her Name Was Music...

September 30, 2015
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I look up at her through tear-filled eyes and she stares back at me with ice blue eyes. Those eyes used to be pretty. “Go away,” I whisper. She sneers and kneels in front of me, pushing my hair behind my ear. “Oh honey, you need me too much for me to go away.” I swat at her, but she just laughs. I start to cry and she hugs me. It’s a cold hug and her body feels heavy against mine, but I’m too tired to fight her off. So I don’t. I catch sight of us in the mirror; my eyes are red and wet and my face is pale and drawn. I miss my smile. She eventually gazes towards the mirror too and her cold, blue eyes are full of glee as she stares at me.
I sigh.
I’m lifeless.
Going through the motions.
Hoping it won’t be as much of a fight as the day before.
People talk to me.
I interact.
I’m in the car with him and we’re laughing. I miss being happy. He lets a string of curses fly as a car cuts him off. I laugh and he smiles. I melt for that smile
He pulls into my driveway and lets me off. I invite him around back and we talk. He has to go. Don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go. He waves at me and I painfully smile back, knowing as soon as he leaves, she’ll come. And she does. She walks me inside, where I rush to the window. Get back out. Tell me you can stay another while. Don’t leave me! He drives away, she laughs. It’s a bitter laugh, full of contempt and venom. 
I sigh.
I’m empty.
The motions are just motions.
The fight never changes.
I dream.
I dream that I’m facing her. She’s worn down and tired as I stand above her. I have the power. “What’s your name?” I ask. She shakes her head. I kneel to her level 
She stares up at me.
Blue eyes blazing.
She is lifeless
She is empty

She wakes me with a jolt. The same blue eyes stare at me, but they’re different. They’re pretty. “Hello” I whisper. She smiles and hugs me. I look in the mirror and see only myself. My eyes are bright and my smile is back. I feel happy. I laugh to myself and the sound fills me up.
I sigh.
I’m alive.
The motions are no longer motions.
The fight is no longer a fight.
She looks at me with her blue eyes shining.
“My name is Music”

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