I look up at her through tear-filled eyes and she stares back at me with ice blue eyes. Those eyes used to be pretty. “Go away,” I whisper. She sneers and kneels in front of me, pushing my hair behind my ear. “Oh honey, you need me too much for me to go away.” I swat at her, but she just laughs. I start to cry and she hugs me. It’s a cold hug and her body feels heavy against mine, but I’m too tired to fight her off. So I don’t. I catch sight of us in the mirror; my eyes are red and wet and my face is pale and drawn. I miss my smile. She eventually gazes towards the mirror too and her cold, blue eyes are full of glee as she stares at me.
Going through the motions.
Hoping it won’t be as much of a fight as the day before.
People talk to me.
I’m in the car with him and we’re laughing. I miss being happy. He lets a string of curses fly as a car cuts him off. I laugh and he smiles. I melt for that smile
He pulls into my driveway and lets me off. I invite him around back and we talk. He has to go. Don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go. He waves at me and I painfully smile back, knowing as soon as he leaves, she’ll come. And she does. She walks me inside, where I rush to the window. Get back out. Tell me you can stay another while. Don’t leave me! He drives away, she laughs. It’s a bitter laugh, full of contempt and venom.
The motions are just motions.
The fight never changes.
I dream that I’m facing her. She’s worn down and tired as I stand above her. I have the power. “What’s your name?” I ask. She shakes her head. I kneel to her level
She stares up at me.
Blue eyes blazing.
She is lifeless
She is empty
She wakes me with a jolt. The same blue eyes stare at me, but they’re different. They’re pretty. “Hello” I whisper. She smiles and hugs me. I look in the mirror and see only myself. My eyes are bright and my smile is back. I feel happy. I laugh to myself and the sound fills me up.
The motions are no longer motions.
The fight is no longer a fight.
She looks at me with her blue eyes shining.
“My name is Music”