And Again | Teen Ink

And Again

May 8, 2015
By Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain


My breakfast pounds against the inner lining of my stomach as my eyelids beg to drop down onto my cheeks. I force my eyes open, refocusing the swirled lines in front of me into a mathematical equation. Deep breath- in, out. I cannot afford to be sick during this class. I need to hear what the teacher will say next. The boring monotone floods into my ears, begging me to sine squared of just take a minute to c times the reciprocal of the square root of take a quick nap. I need to rest my head. I lower the left side of my face onto my arm, turning my head so that my gaze is angled toward the board. Again, my vision blurs as the teacher's face blends with the whiteboard, slowly fading into a nice, comfortable... No! I pull my head up with every ounce of willpower, considering whether it would be worth the stares to just physically hold my eyes open with my fingers. The lockers slamming in the hall build a cacophonous din in my brain, the volume turned too high on a radio station for buzz. Static obliterates all coherent thought, and class drags on.

 

When we’re finally let out, I drag my feet toward the commons. I have a 30-minute lunch break and no idea how I am going to stay awake. I make the dreadful decision to sit in the cafeteria, where the noise of Evan and Graham, two senior guys known to be notoriously good for stirring up a racket, will grind into my skull for a half hour straight. If I try to save myself in the library, I know I am going to fall asleep and miss my next class entirely. I enter the cafeteria, and a half-eaten bag of chips narrowly misses my face as it flies by. I whip my head around, instinctively seeking the swaggering baller-wannabe who just took a shot at the trash bin. With the brisk movement, my brain churns the cafeteria into a Pablo Picasso masterpiece, colors morphing into strange shapes, carouseling around the scene before me. I hear Evan’s voice call out, "My bad!" without a hint of apology, or maybe it’s Graham’s raucous laughter. In any case, I am beyond trying to figure this out. As soon as the flashing colors dim, I squint, find my lunch table through spots of clear vision, and head over. This time, I move slowly.

 

The slush of my brain sloshes around in my head, leaving vague outlines of homework assignments scribbled on the edges of my consciousness. I have to read 20 pages on Andrew Jackson by Friday, right? Or is the project due on Friday? No, wait, the reading is for the project, but that's been pushed off to Monday because instead we're taking Friday to.... I have no idea. The information slides out of my grasp as I rack (what is left of) my brains, desperately searching for the answer to this question. If only my head were a jack-o-lantern so I could carve out holes, reach in, and pull out the goopy, sticky slop inside to find the answers. I wish my head was a jack-o-lantern. I wish I had slept more than three hours last night. I wish I wasn’t about to throw up breakfast over lunch.

 

JJ and Lanie, my friends since the sixth grade, wave hi as I approach our table, and I produce a weak smile to go with my weaker excuse for a wave. A mumbled "Didn't sleep last night" immediately sets off a passionate debate about whether Ms. Coltor is the devil, works for the devil, or owns the devil’s soul. Regardless, her projects are evil incarnate. JJ claims for sure she is the one and only, but Lanie argues that JJ just hasn't had Scharfman yet, and you ain't seen nothin' yet if you haven't done a Scharfman group project. The very thought of Scharfman releases that static buzz again, the unrelenting bang of locker doors closing in the distance as sound completely submerges my sanity. More teachers. More classes. More work. How many periods left? Uggh…. I could go beg the nurse to pardon my sins and send me home…. Sadly, there is no way I can miss the Chemistry lab. I need, and I mean need, that A. Trust me--you haven’t met my parents. Thank the Science gods JJ is my lab partner. She's guaranteed to know what we're doing, which is only another of the long list of facts I’ve lost amid the locker-induced drone.

 

I pull out my phone to text my mom, typing, Not going to stay for math help. I need slep. I send it in the same instant that I realize that slep is not a word, and then I am too tired to care enough to actually send her the correction. She'll figure it out. Visions of my bed start dancing through the haze in my skull. Soft pillows, warm blankets, the sweet relief of the snooze button on my alarm clock. Behind me, the principal calls out that lunch is over, and everyone around me rises in a tidal wave of sound and movement that knocks me back in my chair. I fight the tsunami of reverberation. Standing slowly, I make eye contact with Lanie, who gives me a sympathetic smile before she rushes off to her own science class. I possibly attempt to smile back, forego my usual half-hearted shoulder shrug to avoid unnecessarily complicated thought processes, and start to shuffle my Uggs toward fifth period US History. Technically, it's AP US History, or APUSH for short. Uggh, I could really use a push right now. The slamming of the lockers carries me on a current of humming hubbub, and as the commotion clamors for control of my jack-o-lantern mind, I finally give in to its cry. Inside my head, brain waves allow themselves to be engulfed by static roar.



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This article has 45 comments.


Beila BRONZE said...
on Jul. 16 2015 at 8:50 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Thank you so much for your detailed feedback! Those were definitely my favorite lines to write, too. :) Also, I love that you can relate to Evan and Graham! I thought it was pretty hilarious that when I submitted this piece to publication in our school's lit mag, they asked me for permission to change the names for fear that the real Evan and Graham would be offended. :P Thanks again for reading, and happy writing to you, too!

on Jul. 16 2015 at 11:05 am
ThrillQueen126, Seattle, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments
I love your writing style, this is amazing! Everything is described perfectly!

on Jul. 15 2015 at 10:13 pm
theblondechick GOLD, Kingsport, Tennessee
14 articles 0 photos 104 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to live and feel all the shades, tones, and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life.
And I am horribly limited.
-Sylvia Path

A lot of the things in this I have done myself in the awful morning hours of high school. There is even an Evan and Graham! Only their names are Nick and Cody. What I'm getting at is that you really captured a day in high school realistically and even, impossibly, added humor to it. Lines I liked best: "begging me to sine squared of just take a minute to c times the reciprocal of the square root of take a quick nap"..."immediately sets off a passionate debate about whether Ms. Coltor is the devil, works for the devil, or owns the devil’s soul. Regardless, her projects are evil incarnate" ... " a half-eaten bag of chips narrowly misses my face as it flies by. I whip my head around, instinctively seeking the swaggering baller-wannabe who just took a shot at the trash bin" Genius! All of it! Your protagonist's voice shines through beautifully, but without making it over the top. Good descriptions. I could easily see her in her math class half-asleep. Very well-written. My only advice, which is similar to others in the comments, is that there be a bit of action, an "humph." With that said, however, I don't think it was your intention to be dramatic. You just wanted to give us a snapshot of a very long, tiresome day, which you did perfectly. Good piece. Keep up the good work. Happy writing!

on Jul. 15 2015 at 8:48 pm
lilycalla16 SILVER, Lisle, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freely we serve, Because we freely love, as in our will to love or not; in this we stand or fall."
-John Milton

Who knew so much detail could fit into one snapshot moment! My favorite thing about this article is that you're character's voice shines through the whole time. I especially loved when she would make typos or snide comments about teachers, that made me laugh. Sometimes I felt like there was a little too much description going on and not enough action, but since you said on my piece that I could use more detail I think we just have different styles of writing which is completely fine! :) Overall though I really enjoyed reading this anecdote (which is totally me, ESPECIALLY falling asleep in trig!)

on Jun. 27 2015 at 3:03 pm
Gwendolyn_ BRONZE, Indianapolis, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look what you have done. Listen! your brothers blood cries out to me from the ground!" -God

"Never let your schooling interfere with your education." -Mark Twain

"All the drugs in the world will never save us from ourselves" -Marilyn Manson

I feel like your writing is completely amazing. I love how everything is described. I think it could improve with a bit of a more solid plot, but other than that, this is fantastic!

on Jun. 22 2015 at 10:32 pm
alaina_h BRONZE, Wilmington, Delaware
4 articles 3 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. -Audrey Hepburn

I think that you're a really good writer and you have a talent for describing things in a way that is tangible, and relatable....I felt like this story would have benefited from some sort of hook, or plot, but your writing is exceptional. I would love it if you would give my short story a quick once over and leave your comments....anything you got, I'll take, haha! TeenInk.com/fiction/realistic_fiction/article/809491/My-First-Kiss/

on Jun. 22 2015 at 4:13 am
upupAWAY BRONZE, Lynden, Washington
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
Sorry this comment is a day late but I really enjoyed all of the discription in this story but i felt like it was not a true short story but more of an overview. However this is a stunning peice of work and keep it up! :D

on Jun. 21 2015 at 6:27 pm
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

Okay, my feedback for this story is up on the thread! Sorry for the wait; I took a break, and it turned out to be long, and now I feel bad! Yay! ... Anyway, feedback's on the thread. Hope it helps you out! (Honestly, it isn't really a lot of feedback, 'cause this is actually a really good story overall, so...yeah!)

on Jun. 21 2015 at 12:52 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

I feel like this is MY high school, lol. It's so similar to my own experience. You really have a knack for description - I loved it!

Beila BRONZE said...
on Jun. 14 2015 at 2:57 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

I agree that this is a snapshot and not, in truth, a story, which- as you pointed out- would require a conflict. One of the people who edited for me did ask, "What's at stake?" The answer is... nothing. This is merely a glimpse of me messing around with descriptive writing. Thanks for the thoughtful comment. :)

pprudhon GOLD said...
on Jun. 13 2015 at 10:33 pm
pprudhon GOLD, San Jose, California
10 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
-JK Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

This piece is very relatable and your style is very capturing, but I feel like this story is missing something. It's a lovely snapshot into the life of your character, but there's no real conflict. I understand that for a short story, it can just be a snapshot, but I think you have the talent and the creativity to take it just a little further, which would make it a more interesting read. Overall, I think you did a great job and I hope you keep writing :)

on Jun. 6 2015 at 11:58 pm
celticstudygirl PLATINUM, Vermilion, Other
23 articles 2 photos 44 comments
I can relate a lot to his piece of work. Excellent job and really creative too.

on Jun. 3 2015 at 9:07 pm
A_Wanderer GOLD, Cottondale, Alabama
15 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
interviewer: "And what if no one believes your truth?"
Sonmi: "Someone already does."
-Sonmi 451, Cloud Atlas

Really interesting piece, I liked it a lot! The imagery was nice and perfectly described how I feel in school a lot of the time. Good job

on May. 25 2015 at 10:41 am
WritinGirl PLATINUM, DeKalb, Illinois
20 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou

Good job-what a unique idea to write about! Sometimes the writing felt a little stinted, like it could flow a little better, but honestly, it was great. You pulled out the details and sounds so vividly I could really get into the story and be transported there. Keep up the good work :)

HudaZav SILVER said...
on May. 20 2015 at 6:03 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 390 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

Wow what a creative idea! i love the creativity of this piece, as well as the vivid imagery. Keep it up! I really enjoyed this :o :D

on May. 20 2015 at 9:21 am
NymeriaWaters PLATINUM, Holland, Michigan
20 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are all Worms, but I do believe I'm a glow worm"- Winston Churchill

This is a very relatable and realistic piece. I love the style, and I love the idea. I would love if I could be a bit more engulfed in your world, just more imagery would be lovely. Still, this is really good.

Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 19 2015 at 12:24 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Thank you so much! This piece lived through several incarnations in the editing process since I wrote it in November, but honestly, the biggest obstacle to getting it done was definitely the multiplicative inverse of not having enough double angle identities sleep! In other words, sorry for the wait! I'll submit my next one later this month since testing's finally over. :) Also, thanks for the feedback. I think sometime later in my writing career, I'll definitely return to this scene and make it part of an actual plot. For what it is now, I'm glad you liked it!

on May. 19 2015 at 7:44 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

I'd been waiting for another article to appear on your profile for a while know, and this was completely worth the wait, if not more. Other than the fact that I can relate gigantically, I absolutely loved the unique imagery you've used, right from the start. The disfigured sentence in the first paragraph is just brilliant; plus the humor is spot on, and with the apush thing.. wow. The only thing I would have perhaps liked is a bit more to the plot, but I think what you wanted to show you've shown perfectly. Well done, my friend and congratulations.

on May. 18 2015 at 3:56 pm
FollowingLeader GOLD, Moline, Illinois
10 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything stinks till it's finished," -Dr. Suess

Excellent piece, using extremely vivid imagery and words. (The lockers slamming in the hall build a cacophonous din in my brain, the volume turned too high on a radio station for buzz. Static obliterates all coherent thought, and class drags on.) I loved that part in particular. As much as I like pieces that are just snippets from someone's day, I really felt that this could use more... closure. That's just a suggestion, as leaving it like this has its effects, too, but it's just a suggestion. Incredible work!

on May. 18 2015 at 9:20 am
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula

I just read over this again, I realized that what I thought was a spelling error was just me X3 my bad. So yes, it is good, I like, and no spelling error.