Black Holes

April 30, 2015
By ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.


He was a force of nature. A catalyst, an enforcer. He knew all the right things, spoke all the right words, experimented with all the right results. He swallowed corporations, countries, entire continents, sparing a bit more in his stomach for a mug of coffee on a misty Vancouver morning.

Though he knew. Nobody would suspect it, but he did. There was something maniacal in the curve of his jaw, the scar on his back from the time Lydia jabbed her pen knife in a scuffle. Some nights he’d tear the Versace away, wash off the five hundred dollar perfume, slip grandfather’s gold Rolex off his gnarled wrists—and stare into the mirror.

Kafka would be appalled, Lydia would say. He could still feel her lips on his, carrot hair curling around his fingers. Filling the gaps twenty three years of keyboard tapping and sweaty palms at board meetings left them with. You’re hollow, John. And I’ve always been overflowing with soul. She said, during one of their more peaceful arguments. You act like the world would collapse without you. Like you’re God. But you mean nothing, behind your wealth. You’re a black hole, John. And I’m the star on your event horizon.

Perhaps it was my mistake for stepping this close.

He stared at the mirror for hours a day, pondering his partners’ words. The pills always stood an inch away on the vanity, calling him. Perhaps, he thought. Perhaps.


The author's comments:

I apologize beforehand. 


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This article has 11 comments.


ellwist SILVER said...
on Nov. 23 2015 at 1:10 am
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading all three of them--I'm surprised you did.

MVReverie GOLD said...
on Nov. 22 2015 at 10:00 am
MVReverie GOLD, Arlington, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can't drown my demons; they know how to swim.

This piece is amazing. Simply amazing. The diction you use for this piece is something fierce. It creates an image, a distinct image, inside the readers mind, and it's simply amazing. I love it. The darkness is something that I like. I also think that adding that girl character, actually brings out more emotions out of the reader. I felt anger towards her, while others may feel different feelings. Though, I would careful at some parts. Some parts aren't as clear as others so it's a bit hard to understand. But overall, you did a wonderful job.

ellwist SILVER said...
on Oct. 24 2015 at 5:26 am
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

Yes, I hope he doesn't take the pills either. Thanks for reading!

on Oct. 21 2015 at 11:16 am
writer-violist DIAMOND, Jenks, Oklahoma
63 articles 4 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

I agree with @celticstudygirl. This is a strong piece. It is on the dark side but what's writing without a little darkness sometimes? I like this piece it was well written because of the mood, tone, and choice of words. I get how "Black Holes" is the right title for this piece. Even though I hope the man doesn't take the pills, it was a good kind of twist for the beginning. Very good job writing. Please keep writing! :)

ellwist SILVER said...
on Aug. 25 2015 at 8:37 am
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

Thanks for the comment! And yes, it does appear I'm limiting myself to the darker tones. Perhaps one day I'll try something more light-hearted.

Jc543 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 25 2015 at 12:22 am
Jc543 BRONZE, Bronx, NY, New York
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."

Your way with words is absolutely spellbinding. The protagonist is quite interesting, even though the piece is short. I believe Belia summed up my thoughts on this piece. You have a knack for writing dark unsettling tones, which makes your even more impressive in my opinion.

Beila BRONZE said...
on Aug. 21 2015 at 8:23 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 519 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Because I got to "Nicotine & Nihilism" from the feedback forums, and I was so captivated by the beauty of your writing that I *had* to see what else you had out there! And I love it all! :P

ellwist SILVER said...
on Aug. 21 2015 at 7:43 am
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

You are on a roll, aren't you? This is, what, the fourth piece you commented on? I'm almost embarrassed. You're making me blush. Thank you for the comment!

Beila BRONZE said...
on Aug. 21 2015 at 4:31 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 519 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Incredibly strong. And by the way, a powerful choice of imagery to accompany the piece, as well. The first paragraph is spell-binding, and Lydia's words are lyrical. Like all the best artists, you write soul into even the spaces between your words. The entire eloquency of the piece coupled with its sinister meaning becomes, in a word, breathtaking.

ellwist SILVER said...
on Jul. 2 2015 at 11:57 am
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

Thank you for the comment!

on Jul. 1 2015 at 11:11 pm
celticstudygirl PLATINUM, Vermilion, Other
23 articles 2 photos 44 comments
This is a strong piece. I like it.


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