“What do you want to be in the future?”

Since I was a kid, the people around me would like to ask: “What do you want to do in the future?” This has happened at least 10 times a year. I find that each year my answer becomes more and more blurry. What’s my future looks like? What I will do in the future? What job I will be working on? Where I will live? Who I will be stay with? I started to be more and more worried and confused about these questions that I could not answer. Since Ive grow up, there have been more and more question about my future. This has caused me to feel pressure about what I should do in the future.

Why should we study in the school? My parents said it will help us become more knowledgeable and prepare us for the future. Usually my family would say to me if I don’t work hard in middle school, I can not get into a good high school, if I can not get into a good high school, I can not get into a good college, then I can not get a good job. If  I can not get a good job, my parents think that means I can not have a “good life”. The good life for them is be successful, get into a good company. But they never think about what I would like. They want me have a good life, but they don’t figure out how much pressure I feel right now. “You must work hard right now for your future. You have to do your best for your future right now.” Theses sentences always appear in my life by my parents or other family member. More and more pressure coming into my life. And they always compare me and other people in every way, and the winner always be the “trophy child”. I really don’t like where I am, I don’t like “the trophy child”, but I also don’t like my parents who put me in this situation. I want talk to them about how I feel, I want to talk them I want to chose future by myself, I don’t want get all this pressure from them yet my parents are really stubborn and never think they are wrong.

I still can not find a career that I am really interest in and would want to do for my whole life. But at least I know I don’t want be the person who always push their child to make him or her feel lot of pressure just like my parents, I think they are good people with the exception of how they tried to teach me. They made me lose my innocence and make me feel how hard life can be very early on in my childhood. They said what they did is good for my future, but I don’t agree.

What I want right now is let these negative thoughts to go away, And do my best for my future, do my best on where I want be, not my parents want me be. I hope one day I can say to my parents they are wrong, and I will be show them, show them my real future. The future where I want be, not the future they push me to.