She dipped her feet in the icy water again. This time, unlike all the thousand others, she felt nothing. Not even the flow of the water, nor the cooled warmness of it. Her head felt empty, only a dark place controlled by the devil. The small voices in her head kept telling her things she knew she wasn’t but could only believe they were true. She held her hand to her neck, checking to see if she had a pulse. She felt nothing. Not the reassuring beat of life. Only the cold blackness that filled her soul. In the place where her heart used to be, there was nothing, just more emptiness. Why did he have to break her heart? Why did he have to reach down inside her, tear it out, and run, leaving her to die from the voices. He was a thief, and a liar. All the times he said he loved her, now turned into a thousand shattered lies. He broke her. Now no one could fix this monster he created. No medication, no therapy. Talking wouldn’t even work. She wasn’t a living person anymore. She was a dead one, walking around aimlessly like a zombie. Her eyes, once bright, now cold and dark. Lifeless.
She took out her small knife. The blade stained with blood. She held it to her wrist, and pushed down past the pain. Blood swelled at the cut, and dripped down into the water. She didn’t care. She did it again. Breaking all the promises she had told to everyone she cared about, just like they had done to her. He said he would love her forever. He never did in the first place. She stopped slitting her wrist, and set the knife down in the grass next to her, and cried. She wished he had never loved her, it wouldn’t have hurt so much if it wasn’t real. So thats why he didn’t care when she left. And thats why she spent countless hours killing herself from the inside out. She cried, thinking about one memory.
She was young. Love, shouldn’t have been a thing. Dating, was only a dream that high schoolers did. Fourteen by her dads rules was to young to date. She did it anyway. His name was Nick. Her good friend, and now her mortal enemy. She remembered the time he picked her up into his arms, and kissed her softly. Remembered the time he said he really did love her. His voice echoed in the back of her mind. How it all turned to lies. When he hit her for the first time. It was no accident. He hit her again, back slapping her in her face. Bruises were created to make her feel more ugly. Then, he stopped. She was sobbing on the floor. How could he. He had said sorry like an angel she used to know. She ran, out of his room and down the stairs to outside. He followed, calling her name. Apologising. She stopped in the middle of the road, and let him take her again. He kissed her again, softly. She sacrificed everything, just to have it done again. The beatings became more violent. Soon, knives were involved. He killed her. With his words, that she once believed.
Crying violently now, she stood up. The blood still flowed from her arm. She turned around, following the path to her home. She felt exhausted. Her mind, her soul already gone from her. Although how much she hated going home now, she did it anyway. She continued to cry. Her world turned dark. She wanted freedom. Not from her so called lover, but from the pain. She picked out the little canister of pills she had stolen from her mother. She could end it all. She wanted too. Opening the cap, she poured out all of the remaining pills. She put them in her mouth, grabbing her water bottle from her backpack, she swallowed them all. Feeling an intense regret for the act, she tried running home, but her vision soon blurred. She saw the street, the one where he lived on. She ran faster, although she couldn’t see much. Remembering the path she had taken so many times she ran up to his doorstep. Feeling the life being drained out of her, she knocked. As the door was answered by him, she passed out on the ground in front of him. Her eyes closed, never to be open again.