Everyone has interests and hobbies.  Some take it even further into obsession.  The feeling where every moment you are not feeding this obsession feels like death.  Well that’s how strong her addiction was… to herself.  She woke up to see a wall of mirrors and went to bed with one last glace at her long, golden hair and bright eyes.  I met Alicia at the peak before her decline.  The 7 Deadly Sins are no joke, for her lust for herself buried her six feet under.  The ironic thought struck me that she should have been at her funeral.  This, of course, made no sense, but I knew she would have been the saddest of all the mourners to see herself go.  I’m sure she was there in spirit, crying next to her mother.  In the most dramatic way possible, there would be a single tear rolling down her cheek, followed by a complete breakdown.  I softly laughed to myself as the thought crossed my mind.  You must be curious as to how vanity killed someone.  I think that Alicia’s story need to be told in its entirety so I will start from the beginning, or at least share what I know.
Alicia spent the majority of her young life rolling around in the mud.  She was born last into a family of four girls.  All four were beautiful, long, blond hair flowing down their shoulders and blue eyes always lively and bright.  Looking at them, each was a younger replica of the one just older than them.  Alicia despised this.  Her first goal as a child was to stand out.  So she decided that she would be a boy.  With her hair shoved into a baseball cap, she played football with the neighborhood boys.  She developed into an impressive athlete.  Her self-confidence was boosted by all of the sports enthusiasts at Springville High.  The problem was, her mother was not one of those sports enthusiasts.  Her mother frowned at the sight of dirt on her youngest daughter’s face.  Alicia was defeated.  She learned that it would be very hard to please both herself and her mother.  However, she had the strongest determination I have ever seen.  She started getting up and hour earlier every morning to perfect her looks.  She focused harder on her studies and was never more than five feet from a book.  Within a year, Alicia skyrocketed to the top of Springville High’s junior class.  I met her that year, when she became student government vice president.  I was president at the time and she was to take over my position in her senior year.  I always told her that she pushed herself too hard, but she said that the praise and compliments made it all worth it.  I found this hard to believe.  I tried to look through her smile for signs of distress, but none was evident. I knew she was confident and happy, but everyone has a breaking point.
In time, she reached that point. I often wondered if anyone else realized that she was slowly wearing herself down. Did they know about the dark circles under her thick concealer? Did they realize that her blue eyes didn’t light up with her smile anymore? I observed others watching her. They looked up to her or envied her. They were all fooled by her mask of heavy foundation and fake smiles. Why was I the only one that saw her decaying spirit? Was I just observant or did I care more than the others? Either way, it made me upset to see her slowly fade.
Over the next months, I saw her grow worse. The only thing keeping her sane was her unquestioned, perfect image. She tried to keep her ‘smile’ alive, but it was more of a strain than ever to do so. I was always on her case about her health and wellbeing, but she lied to me every time. It was painful to watch her say, “Trust me, I’m fine”, with her fake smile. No one else questioned her. I’m not sure whether they didn’t notice or they just didn’t care to ask.
I remember the morning I found out. It was a Sunday morning in May, just a month before my graduation. I fell out of my bed and stumbled down the stairs, drawn by the smell of warm pancakes. My mom looked up from her newspaper when she saw me come into the kitchen. She closed the paper quickly and put it aside. “I made you pancakes! Hurry and eat them before they get cold!” fake happiness was laced in her voice. I ate while she uncomfortably watched at me.  I could tell she wanted to say something, but was struggling to. Eventually, she took a deep breath and said, “Did you hear about Alicia?” “No. What about her?” I would usually assume she won another track meet or got some scholarship, but something about my mom’s tone told me that this wasn’t good news. “Well, no one knows how or why yet, but… Alicia past away last night.” I remember staring at her for a good two minutes before I could even comprehend what she had just said. “What?!” was all I able to choke out.
It was later discovered that she fainted due to high levels of stress and anxiety. She hit her head wrong once she hit the ground. That was it. I couldn’t believe it. I felt as if there was nothing to her death. She died quickly and unexpectedly, all in a matter of a minute. It shouldn’t have happened that way. There was no pride in the way she died. It wasn’t right. I couldn’t help thinking of the way it should have been. In the ideal world, she would have died of old age, surrounded by her children and grandchildren. Her hair would be gray, but her bright eyes would still have life, even as it drains out of her.
Today, exactly a year after Alicia’s death, I’ve decided to put this behind me. I never want to forget her, I just don’t want to let it haunt me all the time. I don’t want anyone else to forget her, either. That’s why I’m sharing this story with you. You may not have known Alicia, but now at least you know her story. I hope you remember her with pleasant thoughts and good wishes, because the real reason she’s not here is all because she strived too hard to please us all.