How to Get Ready For School in the Morning

January 7, 2009
By Kaylea Chomko, Palatine, IL

Getting ready for school is something many students do everyday. I am going to give you step by step process of how to get ready slowly, so you will for sure be late. Make sure you forget to set your alarm clock the night before. Now you will for sure not wake up on time the next morning. You will wake up at the last possible second and not make it to school on time. Don’t go to the bathroom first. Start getting dressed so that the sensation of having to pee takes over your entire body. At the last minute before you’re going to burst, run to the bathroom. Don’t brush your teeth, smelly breath is always good. Don’t put on your glasses, or contacts if you wear them being blind is fun. Now you’re looking through your closet trying to find something to wear while you can’t see, so your outfit won’t match and that’s perfect. Matching outfits look terrible anyway. Don’t shower in the morning or the night before it’s not necessary. Don’t put on any makeup let people see the natural you pimples and all.
Wait until the last possible minute to go downstairs for breakfast. You probably won’t have enough time to eat anything. So you will be hungry all day during your classes waiting for lunch. Leave your cell phone and money at home. Sitting in class without your phone is so entertaining. Also, go off campus with no money it is so beneficial. Since you rushed out the door, you will forget your ID at home, which is awesome. What better way to start your morning then to hear the hall monitors yelling at you for not having it? It’s the most pleasant sound. Make sure that you forget your books, notebooks, pens, pencils. Another amazing way to impress your teachers, is forgetting your homework.

The author's comments:
This was a parody I had to write for english class.

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This article has 1 comment.

nixchix SILVER said...
on Jun. 1 2010 at 12:44 pm
nixchix SILVER, Dumfries, Other
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If things are going untowardly one month, they are sure to mend the next." - Jane Austen

I don't really get this. I think it's meant to be funny, but it's not. Also, i am not american! I don't get why you call your phone your cell phone. That is so weird. But it's is well written!


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