I'm numb. Numb to it all. The highs I should be feeling and the lows.  I should be experiencing my life in vivid color seeing the reds, oranges, and yellows of the sunset, of fall, of joy. I should see the blue's and blacks of the night and my depression. But all I can see is gray. A summer day is gray I can't feel the translucent blue of the pool or the green of the freshly mown grass. I can stare into the blinding yellow of the sun yet even then feel nothing. I can be watching a sunset on a beach but not take in any of the orange colliding with the blue. All I feel is gray, an in-between, boring, nothing, numb color.