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Just a Boy
I remembered when he looked me straight in the eyes and told me: “I think we should break up Kristen.” The words continued to replay over and over again in my head like a broken record. I remembered how he was the reason fresh tears flowed softly down my delicate cheeks. What had I done wrong? Did I call too much? Text too much? Not hang out enough? What did I possibly do to deserve this aching pain? What made it worse was when I looked him dead in the eyes and asked him why. Why had he decided to abandon me? My eyes were darkened by the smeared mascara that was dripping down my cheeks. He looked down at me.
“I don’t know. This just doesn’t feel right anymore.” At that single moment my heart broke. It broke into a million pieces and there was no one there to pick them up. He broke my heart and that was all he had to say for himself?
My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on my bedroom door.
“Come in.” I said attempting to wipe away my tears and make up. It was my best friend Anthony.
“Aw baby!” He said studying me sticking out his bottom lip making a puppy dog face. I knew I looked absolutely ridiculous and an utter mess. He rushed over and sat on my bed beside me. I had a pink fuzzy blanket wrapped around my head and body and I was hunched over in a ball with my knees up to my chest. Anthony took one side of the blanket and joined me in my little cave of blanket.
“Ian dumped me.” I said.
“I know baby and I am so sorry.”
“Me too.” I said looking away.
“You look like one hot mess, my love.” He commented continuing to study me.
“Thanks!” I said, a smile almost escaping my pursed lips.
“Are you really going to spend a Friday night in your room all lonely and bored? Lets go do something, lets go out to a club or something.”
“I just can’t believe he did this to me. I love him so much; I did everything I possibly could to make him happy, to make him smile. He is seriously the reason why I get up every morning. He makes me so happy and I really thought he was happy too. He sure seemed like it. If he wasn’t happy I would done something about it. He didn’t need to go and end it like this”â€”I continued to ramble on in a mouthful of sobs and tears.
“That is it, I have had enough.” Anthony stated ripping the blanket off of my body.
“Give it back.” I said firmly.
“No. Go get dressed, we are going out.” He demanded. But to be honest, I really didn’t feel like resisting.
* * *
As I starred into the full length mirror I didn’t see the pretty, happy, bubbly girl that I was used to. Instead I saw someone who was aching and hurting inside. I was really trying to decide if I even really wanted to go out anymore. At that moment I sure didn’t feel like it and I don’t even know if I remembered how to. I was always with Ian. There was no Kristen, there was Kristen and Ian. We were always together. I didn’t even like my outfit for one, it just didn’t suit me. I began to undress, I already tried everything in my closet and this was absolutely useless. Suddenly my cell phone began to ring in my back pocket. Anthony.
“Hello?” I asked undressing.
“You are getting ready right? I promise you we will have so much fun so get dressed again and put your clothes back on,” Wow he knew me too well, “I will be there to pick you up in ten so be ready. And just remember baby, you are a beautiful person and if that boy can’t see that then he is crazy. I love you and you’re amazing. It is his loss he lost you not the other way around. You are just incredible. Anyways, I’ll be there soon so get ready.” He announced hanging up.
I really took his words to heart. I slipped back on my black “V” neck sweater and began reapplying my make up. Was I really going to let some guy ruin my night? I put my lips into a seductive “O” as I applied lipstick to my plump lips. Was I really going to let some guy take away my dignity and the life I had in me? The answer was no. No one was going to take me down that fast. But as much as I hated to say it,
“He was just a boy.”
* * *