‘So…’ I start saying to my therapist.
I can’t even believe I’m here. I mean, come on! What kind of a mindless freak comes to a therapist? And that also for such a trifle!
Okay, maybe it is not a trifle, since the video of me slapping Lina across the face already has 3.9 million views on YouTube and not a single dislike. But it would have been a trifle if some hag had not captured the video in the first place and uploaded it on the net.
From my point of view, I’m completely innocent.
Okay, maybe my violence was not innocence, but the attack was provoked. LITERALLY.
Like it is not enough that I have to be, like, the biggest freak ever in the history of St. Jameson’s Institution, I also have to be the short, pimply freshman, who slapped the most popular freshman. In public. And got a video uploaded on the net with 3.5 million views.
I’m feeling lucky that reporters haven’t already arrived at our house with cameras and microphones. I’m also surprised that all my parents did to punish me is ground me till I completed this stupid therapy course.
Well, I’m actually suspended from school (even though the attack took place outside school), but I like to think that I’ve been grounded. It seems less harsh.
When Principal Singh handed me the suspension letter, he looked scared out of his skull, like I might slap him – which is impossible, since Principal Singh is about 6 feet tall and has a pot belly. So, well, I’m suspended.
Wow, Devangi, wow. You went from the invisible girl to the most popular girl all over the net in minutes (which is not true, since the uploader of the video blurred the faces of all the people in it, so only the students of our school and the people present right at the “scenario” knows who the slapper is, a.k.a me).
But don’t be too worried. I’ve also gained fans, appraising me for standing up to the meanest girl in school. My fans are usually younger than me, but whatever. I’ve also got flowers and cards (and I should mention here that some younger guys have even expressed their love for me in those cards).
‘So, what happened?’ urges Mr. Pal. He is the therapist.
Mr. Pal is this guy about as old as my father. He’s wearing a green cashmere sweater, since it’s winter, over a blue shirt, whose collar is sticking out of the collar of the sweater. He’s also wearing sweat pants with ochre colored combat boots from Woodland (I saw the label on the side).
His hair is black with a few white streaks. He also has that weird, old guy, gentle smile and those wrinkles by his eyes, which makes his smile brighter. And he doesn’t have any facial hair.
But his eyes, I must say, sure do seem special. Unlike any Indian I’ve ever seen, Mr. Pal has deep blue eyes, which, when viewed from a distance seem black. But since he’s sitting under a streak of sun, peeping from the top of the next building’s wall, his eyes seem deep blue.
All I can say is: that guy is surely not a short, pimply faced freak with a therapist in high school. Oh, and he possible didn’t slap the most popular freshman, in public, right across the face, and got a video of him doing so uploaded on YouTube (even with the faces blurred).
To answer Mr. Pal’s question, I say, ‘I slapped Lina in public.’
This is obviously no news to him, since my parents have already filled him in with all the necessary details. But, still, he looks surprised, like the idea of me slapping anyone is impossible. I may be short, but I have strength.
‘And why did you do that, may I know?’ he asks.
‘I is provoked.’
‘What is the provocation?’
I remain silent. He looks bored. We’ve had this same conversation about 5 times.
I would so not tell a single soul about the provocation. I haven’t even told my parents. Why would I tell some random dude that?
And I’m pretty sure Lina won’t spill the beans either.
He leans forward in his seat and, entwining the fingers of both his hands, he says, ‘Look, I can’t help you if you don’t let me.’
‘I don’t want any help. I just want to go back home, get into my pajamas and do my trig homework,’ I say.
Jeez. I mean, what kind of a freak wants to go home and start doing homework right away?
I’m a unique piece, I’ll tell you. I’m surprised I haven’t been hauled off to a museum, got all my innards taken out, got stuffed with medicines and kept on display there yet.
Mr. Pal leans back into his chair, sighs and says, ‘Do you mind if I watch this cricket game, since you show no sign of talking about it?’
‘Nah, go ahead,’ I say and take out my homework and start doing it, while this cat keeps on staring at me sleepily from a corner of the room (and it say “NO ANIMALS ALLOWED” at the entrance). Mr. Pal turns on the small TV kept on a high stand to Ten Cricket.

When I return home, around 6 p.m. (which would make 2 hours of me doing my trig homework while Mr. Pal watches his stupid game and 1 hour of istage), I’m greeted by the melodious sound that is heard when I slapped Lina.
I storm right into the living room to catch Dhruv, my sixteen year-old elder brother, giving more fruitful views to the cause of my embarrassment, which will last till the day I choke (which would be coming pretty soon, if my life keeps on going like this).
‘Why are you watching that?’ I ask, slamming the laptop shut.
Dhruv moans, ‘Aw, man! Why’d you do that? Not cool, Dino!’
Dhruv has been calling me Dino since the “incident”.
I sniffle, and giving one sad glance at my brother with my eyes full of tears, I run up to my room.
Then I shut the door close, get out of my clothes, get under the shower and cry my heart out.
But I guess Dhruv got the message, since, after I came out, I didn’t hear any more of my voice yelling, “You witch!” followed by a distinct sound of a tight slap. Only I didn’t say “witch”, but the word rhyming with it.
Dinner is a disaster, since my parents thought that it’d be polite to invite Lina and her family over for dinner.
I say I wouldn’t eat, that I isn’t hungry, but my parents were determined to “fix things between me and Lina.” Hah! That’s just plain improbable. No, wait, it’s impossible.
So, there I is, a five feet, pimply faced freak, wearing a colorful dress – that my mom got me from somewhere, probably the land of the Teletubbies – inviting my life’s biggest enemy and her family into my house and acting nicely with them.
Lina’s face’s redness (from my Super Duper Slap) is gone. Also the mark of the five fingers is not there anymore. So, there is no sign to remind anybody of the “incident”, unless some moron brought it up (for example, my brother Dhruv).
I thought all Mr. and Mrs. Gupta would do is remind us how rudely and unmannerly I’d behaved by slapping their precious little girl. But they were so cool about it that the topic isn’t brought up by them.
Dhruv seemed a bit distracted by Lina. Why me, I ask?
Why does my own brother – one who shares my own blood, if not my manners – have to be attracted towards the one girl who has made my life a complete hell?
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but now I wouldn’t even mind if he returns the feelings that my best friend, Ishleen, has for him.
Anybody, BUT Lina.
But oh, no, he had to be attracted towards Lina, only.
And she seemed to return his interest (a new scheme to make my life worse, I can guess).
They steal glances at each other and if they catch each other’s eye, they blush and look at their plate.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I excused myself to go back to my room. My mom glares at me, so I add, ‘I have to complete my trig homework.’
‘But you’re suspended. Why’d you want to complete your homework so soon? Enjoy your time,’ says my brother Dhruv.
I’ve heard people say that siblings are gifts. If Dhruv is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return this gift.
‘I’m sleepy, then,’ I say and run up to my room.
‘Lay her off a bit,’ I hear my mother say before entering my room.
In there, I look around to see what I can do to spend my time. Then I notice my diary and start writing in it all about my miserable, little life.
I don’t even know when I fall asleep.

The next day I woke up right at 6 a.m. and started going through my daily routine and also getting ready for school, when I remembered: I is suspended.
Just the thought of that made me feel so tired and miserable that, as soon as I lay back down on my bed, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, it is 9 a.m. My parents haven’t even decided to call me up. But when I went downstairs, I saw that they’d left for their work. Maya, our housemaid is cleaning the table when she noticed me. She looked surprised and say, ‘Oh, you’re not at school?’
Maya is one of those cool people who didn’t know about my suspension. I is head over heels happy to see at least someone who hadn’t heard about the “incident”.
‘Oh, I’m just…’ I blabbered giddily, ‘I’m not feeling well. Might take a couple days off from school.’
Maya smiled and say, ‘Oh, that’s good. It’s good to have somebody home, for a change.’
Then – I guess, on seeing my really, really sad expression – she added, ‘Oh, I’ll make you something to eat. You must be hungry. Go get refreshed.’
I did so. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair, got out of my pajamas, and taking my diary with me, I went downstairs to the kitchen. Maya is preparing one of her special South Indian dishes.
Maya is a middle aged, Tamil woman. She’d left Tamil Nadu when she is about twenty-five, and never looked back. She’d come here to Delhi to become a part of a cooking show, but soon left it. Since she is going out of her money, she decided to become a housemaid in – and I quote – “Nice, big houses, not shabby one”. I won’t say our house is “nice” and “big”, but it sure isn’t shabby.
And Maya even gets food and shelter here for free. She also gets a salary, so I guess she’s happy here.
Anyways, the smell of dosa made my stomach emit that dying-whale sound.
Maya smiled at me, on hearing my stomach roar, and say, ‘No worries, dear. Food is here.’
She say down my breakfast on the dining table and I slipped into my seat and ate heartily, while Maya did some of her other household work.
Then, after finishing my meal, I took my plate back into the kitchen, kept it there and went back into my room.
And then I wrote and listened to songs and also sketched. Just like that, lunch time rolled in. When Maya came upto my room to call me, I pretended to be asleep, and – instead of forcefully making me eat – Maya left, after adjusting my blanket.
When I woke up, it is around 3:30 in the afternoon. When I went downstairs, everything looked normal. Dhruv is sitting at the table, probably doing his homework. Dad is watching sports and my mother is multitasking – cooking as well as working in the kitchen along with Maya.
Dhruv saw me coming down and pulled out a chair for me. ‘Hey, how you feeling? Maya say you skipped lunch.’
‘Oh,’ I started saying, giving him a smile of gratitude for pulling out that chair for me, ‘I’m just… I fell asleep.’
Then I noticed something. ‘Why do you look so happy?’ I asked.
The smile wiped off his face and he say, ‘Why, can’t a guy even smile?’
‘No… I mean… It’s just…’ I stammered.
Dhruv laughed and patting me on the head – like I is his pet dog or something – he say, ‘No worries, sister. I’m kidding. It’s just… Lina got invited to this party by that friend of yours—what’s her name? You know, the one with the glasses?’
‘Preeti?’ I offered.
‘Yea, her. Lina got invited to a party that Preeti threw – who knew nerds could have fun? – and Lina invited me to go with her. And mum and dad have already agreed.’
‘Only on one condition,’ dad called out from the sofa, ‘remember the condition Dhruv, or else you’ll be in trouble.’
‘Yea, dad, sure will,’ Dhruv replied, hardly even looking at dad.
‘What condition?’ I asked Dhruv.
‘Oh, he wants me to raise my grade in Maths from a B- to an A or B.’
‘A, only, and you promised that,’ dad warned.
‘Sure, dad,’ replied Dhruv, rolling his eyes.
‘You can do that?’ I asked.
‘I’ll try.’
‘You will,’ dad say.
‘I will,’ Dhruv mocked.
I decided it is time to change the subject, ‘What’s the party for?’
‘Oh, it’s just nerdy stuff,’ Dhruv say, waving his hand, ‘Your friend – Preeti, that’s her – she went to some spelling competition and won it. To celebrate her win, she threw the party.’
I stared at nothing – literally, nothing – for some time, finding it hard to breathe and say, ‘Preeti invited Lina to that party?’
‘What, like you didn’t know about it already?’
I shook my head. Then I excused myself and started returning to my room when Dhruv added, ‘Oh, and the half yearly exams have been postponed. Come on, that’s got to even make you happy.’
I shut the door.

The first thing that I did is call Preeti. She had a lot of explaining to do.
Her mother picked up the phone and I asked for Preeti. Her mother didn’t tell her who it is so my voice came off as a surprise to her. I don’t think she would’ve taken the call if she’d known it is me on the other end of the line.
‘Hello?’ asked Preeti in her cheery voice.
‘Hey Preeti. It’s Devangi,’ I say.
A long pause.
‘Oh, hi. How’re you?’ she asked.
‘I’m good. And you?’
‘Good too. We’re missing you at school.’
We? We who? It is just us – me and Preeti – against the stupid brains of St. Jameson’s High. I didn’t mention that. Instead I say, ‘And, I heard about your win in that spelling competition. Congrats!’
‘Thanks…’ Again a long pause. Then she say, ‘Look, I know we say – we promised each other – that we’d participate together and you didn’t want to because of exams and I sort of participated by myself… Without telling you about it… But I’m sorry.’
‘Sorry? What’re you sorry for?’ I felt my voice choke up. ‘I’m so happy for you. I mean, come on! You won the competition! That wouldn’t have happened if you’d kept the promise and not participated.’
‘Really?’ her voice sounded cheerful.
‘Really.’
‘Oh, thanks!’
I waited for her to say something. She say, ‘So, how’s life at home?’
I couldn’t believe it.
‘Life at home is good,’ I replied. ‘What’re you planning to do for your party?’
She gasped and say, ‘How did you—I mean, wow, yea, I forgot to tell you. I’m throwing a party for my win!’
‘Great!’ I waited for her to say something again, but there is only silence, so I say, ‘So, am I invited or not?’
‘It’s just—’ she started saying, ‘It’s just a small family party. No friends invited. Sorry.’
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. ‘So, Lina is family to you now, but not me?’ I didn’t wait for her answer and disconnected the line, because I broke down right after the last word.
I cried after that. I mean, is I that bad? That unimportant? That invisible? Even my best friend forgot about me right after I got suspended from school. She wouldn’t even have remembered I existed if I hadn’t called her.
But I couldn’t cry for that long, since my therapy is from 4 to 6. Mom came up to my room and asked me to get ready to go to the therapist. When I went downstairs again, I saw that dad had already left again for the hospital.
My mom dropped me off at the therapist’s and drove off to the hospital again. My parents – both of them – are doctors. And extremely busy people. I hardly even got to meet them before the “incident”.
Mr. Pal is sitting on his chair just the way he’d been the previous day. He is also wearing reading glasses and had a book in his hand. On seeing me he closed his book, took his glasses off and say, ‘Hello, Devangi. How’ve you been?’
‘Great,’ I answered, slumping down into a chair. ‘You?’
‘The same.’
We sort of spend some time in silence and he say, ‘Look, I see that this is kind of hard for you—you know, opening up to a stranger, but I want to help you. Wait. No, I don’t want to help you. I want to be your friend at a time when you might not have any.’ But the most shocking thing is that glint in his eye, like he’d seen many people go through such things. And before I even knew it, I found myself blabbering about Preeti, and how she’d stopped being my friend and befriended Lina. But I left out the part about me slapping Lina and also the reason for such an outbreak. And the best thing is, Mr. Pal listened to it all silently. He did not interrupt me, or make any shocked expressions.
After I is done, I started rubbing the tears off my cheeks—yep, like an Oh-So-Drama-Queen, I’d started crying, too.
Mr. Pal handed me a fresh napkin from that napkin holder—I guess a lot of people cried here—and he say, ‘So, this Preeti character is supposed to be your best friend?’
‘We’ve been best friends since, like, the second grade,’ I replied and threw my napkin into the bin.
‘And she didn’t invite you to her party… why?’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’
Then I added, ‘It’s not like I’ve been mean to her or anything. I haven’t even seen her since the incident.’
‘You know, Devangi, high school is really tough.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Duh!’
‘And… it’s like a jungle out there—kill or be killed.’
‘You’re quoting Jack London to me?’
‘But the most fascinating thing about an Indian high school is the rush—the competition for being the best. I think that kinda produces a lot of conflict among children.’
I let that sink in. ‘You think Preeti’s jealous of my grades?’ My mouth hung open.
‘I’m not exactly saying that…’
‘She always scores better than me! She would NEVER be jealous of my grades.’
‘That is just my opinion,’ Mr. Pal say. ‘Well, then, why do you think Preeti did not invite you to her party?’
As soon as he asked me that question, it hit me. The real horrible truth hit me. Preeti never liked me, in the first place. She always hung out with me because nobody else liked her. And now that I’d humiliated Lina publicly, and everybody is taking sides—and my side is empty—Preeti thought it’d be a good chance to side with Lina and become one of the It Crowd members. Even thinking this made my eyes fill up.
And the reason that I loved my therapist is that he didn’t push me to tell him my horrible discovery. He just let me sulk in my despair and turned on the TV to his favorite sports channel, while I tried to not wet my homework with my tears and I tried to do it.

When I returned home, Dhruv is in the drawing room, finishing a project.
‘Hey, bro,’ I greeted him.
He glanced at me for a second and smiled, ‘Hey. Somebody looks happy today.’
‘I am,’ I agreed.
‘Why, the therapist feed you laughing gas or something?’
‘The dentist makes you inhale laughing gas, not the therapist.’
‘Whatever.’ Then Dhruv snit his eyebrows and say, ‘Did you know why our half yearly exams were cancelled?’
I got a bit tensed and say, ‘Um, no?’
He stopped writing and looked at me, ‘It is cancelled because somebody burned the exam papers of the ninth grade. Can you believe it?’
I tried to look shocked and say, ‘Wow.’
‘Yea. But, well, the papers of the ninth grade were burned. Why did they cancel the exams of the eleventh grade?’
I pretended to think for some time and say, ‘Maybe… maybe they thought that the person who burned the papers of the ninth grade had seen the paper of the eleventh grade and would leak it…?’
Dhruv thought for some time ad say, ‘You’re right.’ Then we paused for some time and he say, ‘Well, that person, whoever it is, did some good to me.’
I smiled briefly and went back to my room.
I can’t believe I is so close to just revealing whatever had happened that night. That dreadful night.
No sooner had I stepped into my room when mom came barging in.
‘Hi, honey,’ she greeted me.
‘Hey Mom,’ I replied, feeling confused.
My mom made some space for herself to sit on my bed and say, ‘So, you want to talk to me about stuff?’
I look at her distastefully and say, ‘Um… why?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. I’m your Mom. Let’s have a mother-daughter talk.’
When she sees me gawking at her she says, ‘Or… a friend-to-friend talk…?’
‘Mom, I have homework.’
When she kept looking at me liked she didn’t believe me, I say, ‘It’s left over from before my suspension.’
‘Oh, sure dear.’ Then she gives me an awkward hug and leaves the room. Just before closing the door, she says, ‘I’m here for you, you know, Devangi. You can talk to me about anything, anytime. You know that?’
I nod my approval and she leaves the room.
Only if my mother knew what a good daughter she has, one who will never leave her homework undone.
On the other hand, Mr. Pal and I have some serious talking to do tomorrow about this.

My two week suspension passed away quickly, but not quickly enough. I attended my therapy session, and Mr. Pal and I would talk about my everyday feelings, but he’d stopped asking me about the provocation for the “incident” and I’s started feeling like it’d never happened… Till the day before my school after the end of the suspension.
Suddenly, the idea of staying at home seems like the best thing ever. But I just have to go to school. There is no way out of it. Principal Singh says that if I miss my first day of school after the suspension, he would put it on my permanent record. And if that happens, I would NEVER be able to leave this crappy place and get away from this hellhole.
Which is why I am packing up my books and stuff for school the next day.
I take a deep breath in and then let a long one out. It’s going to be alright, I think to myself. You’re going to get through it. I mean, you’ll be staying at this crappy place for only two more years. That’s it. And after that… freedom!
Suddenly, I feel the urge to kill myself. What am I thinking? Get through it? I will not even last for a minute after I walk into the school. EVERYBODY will stare and whisper about me. I decide not to go for a minute and then hesitate. I have to go. This day will decide my future.
I finish packing up my stuff and then go downstairs for dinner and take my seat beside Dhruv. Mom is in the kitchen with Maya. Dad is sitting at one end of the table.
There is a pause and then Dhruv says to me, ‘It’s going to be alright tomorrow, Dee.’ “Dee” is my nickname.
  I cannot believe it. Dhruv – my slightly annoying and idiotic brother Dhruv – is actually trying to make me feel better. I give him an encouraging half-hearted smile and say, ‘Sure.’
‘Most people have even forgotten about it all. It’s like it never happened,’ he says again.
‘Uh-huh,’ I reply shortly. Don not get me wrong. I did not want to be rude to my brother. I am just afraid that if I say anything more, the tears that had filled my eyes will overflow. I can hardly even look at Dhruv.
He starts to say something but then decides against it.
Mom comes over with Maya and we all have our dinner. Then I go up to my room and cry myself to sleep again.

As I step off my car in front of the school, I decide to turn around and leave.
I had made sure to hide my face with a scarf, but I am pretty sure the teachers will take it away.
And the worst thing is that Principal Singh is standing at the gate, probably waiting for me to show up.
I try to go around him, but he still notices me. Well, everyone will notice a girl entering a school wearing a red scarf over her head. He comes over and says, ‘I’m sorry, dear, but you cannot wear a scarf inside the school. It is against the dress code.’
I take it off and he takes away my scarf. His face becomes a little shocked at first, but then he recovers and says, ‘Good morning, Devangi.’
I look at him all flushed and say, ‘Um, good morning, sir.’
‘So, are you ready for your first day after a, um… long time?’
‘I—I’d like to think so.’ I give him a smile.
‘Sure, you are,’ he gives me a pat on the shoulder. ‘Go on ahead. Have a great day.’
‘You too, sir, you too.’ I slip past him into the school.
When I enter my classroom, suddenly all the hubbub dies down. I bend my body a bit in front and looking at the floor I go to the last bench of the class, where no one sits. The assembly bell ring and all the pairs of eyes are off me before one you can say What?
The kids shuffle out into the hallway where we have our morning assembly. I stand at the very end of the girls’ line. Everybody in the hallway still keeps staring at me or giving me weird glances. They also keep whispering.
I have to try so hard to keep from bursting out crying. This is a huge mistake. I should not have come!
After the assembly, the classes go by in a blur. Finally, the lunch time comes as my saviour. I run for the bathroom and lock myself in the last stall. And then I have a really, really good cry.
Even Preeti is ignoring me. I even see that she is sitting with Lina.
I come out of the bathroom stall after the end-of-lunch bell rings and look into the mirror. My face looks all blotchy from crying. I look hideous. I want to break the mirror. No, I wanted to kill myself. That would be better.
I come out of the bathroom and run into Rajesh. He is one of the popular guys in my class and rumor has it that he is dating Lina. Well, why should it be a rumour? They are perfect for each other – Lina and Rajesh, I mean. They are both popular, good looking and good in studies. They will both succeed in life. Rajesh has a really good heart, too. We used to be such good friends in the second grade, but after that he became the “hottie” and I became the “nottie”.
Anyways, I guess he is going to the office or something because he has a hall pass in his hand.
‘Sorry,’ he says, steadying me, because I am almost falling off.
‘Sorry, too,’ I say, stupidly. Then, for a moment, it feels like it is just me and him in this whole world, as we keep staring at each other. Up close, his eyes are really beautiful. In fact, his face looks more handsome. For that five or something seconds it feels like all my hurt and feelings are flowing out of me and he understands everything.
Then, to break our perfect moment, the second bell rings and he breaks our eye connection and says, ‘Well, I…’ He blushes a bit (he looks SO DAMN CUTE!!!) and says, ‘I have to go to the office so…’
‘Yea… and I have to go to the class.’ I take a few steps back and start going up the stairs. Then I look back and he is still staring at me. He says, ‘I’m glad you’re back.’
‘So am I,’ I reply.
I guess my day feels a bit better from there. Though I am late to class the teacher does not say anything. After he comes back into the class, I can bet I see Rajesh stealing glances at me.
When I go back home, I am more glad than ever. Nobody said anything rude to my face today and Rajesh also talked to me. Both of those things makes me feel better.
I get refreshed and started doing my homework.
It is all going to be alright. 

Two weeks goes by without people questioning anything. But talks of the sudden burning up of the exam papers goes from being a rumor to a popularly discussed topic.
One day during the assembly, our Principal Singh does a sudden announcement. Here’s how it goes: ‘We have checked the CCTV footage from 24th of August over and over again and came up with the conclusion that somebody – wait, two people – were here at our school after school hours, at night.’
I catch my breath. Lina glances at me and I glance at her at the same time.
The announcement goes on: ‘We could not discern who it is, so I will request whoever it is to step forward and confess your wrongdoing.’ I feel a drop of sweat trickle down my forehead. People start whispering everywhere, even the teachers.
That day goes on just like that. Lina and I run into each other in the bathroom. She keeps on combing her hair in front of the mirror. The lunch bell rings and everybody starts leaving. A friend of Lina’s (her name’s Preeti, but she’s SO NOT my best friend Preeti, because my best friend Preeti would NEVER be caught dead with a girl like Lina) says, ‘Come on, the bell’s gone off already.’
Lina turns towards her and says, ‘You go, I’ll come a little later.’
Preeti knits her eyebrows, but she leaves. I am about to leave too, when Lina gets a hold of my shoulder and drags me towards the last stall.
‘Did you hear the announcement?’ she asks, looking, I can say clearly, a bit scared.
‘Yea, I did, why?’ I ask.
‘You are not going to tell on me, right? Because if you do that, you will be punished too, and an A+ student like you would NEVER want that.’
I think for some time and say, ‘I won’t tell on you. Don’t worry.’ I start leaving when I hear her say (and I bet she is on the verge of crying, because her voice sounds a bit choked), ‘You don’t know why I came here that night. You have no right to judge me.’
‘I have never judged you.’ I turn around and go back to my class.
The next day, another announcement: ‘We have decided that till the two, um, criminals come face-to-face with us and receive the punishment that he or she deserves, the Half-Yearly Examinations will remain suspended. Don’t get so excited already. It means that till the criminals face the punishment, nobody is passing onto the next class.’ There breaks out an uproar among the students.
The Principal speaks up, ‘Ours is a private institution. We can do what we want to. Please continue with the assembly, now.’
The students kept on muttering sighs and gasps of disbelief all throughout the school day. But the most shocking thing happens during lunch. Preeti comes up to me and says, ‘Can we talk?’
I shrug and say, ‘Sure, whatever.’
She drags me into one of the empty classrooms on our floor and says, ‘I heard you guys the other day. I know everything.’
And right now, I felt like passing out.

‘W—what are you—I mean, I don—don’t know what you’re t—talking about, Preeti,’ I stammered. It felt like the room’s temperature is rising so suddenly.
But, still, Preeti has been my best friend for such a long time. Sure, she had left my company so rashly, but she could not have pretended to be my best friend all these years. She surely would not rat me out if she had even a BIT of love and respect for me in her heart.
‘About Lina, you know?’ she asks.
I get confused, ‘Um, what about Lina?’
‘That,’ she says, rolling her eyes, ‘she’s the one who burned all the papers. You know that too, right?’
I do not know why, but I nod. ‘Look, we can both destroy her life right now. Let’s just go up to Singh and tell him all about it. She’ll be thrown—’
‘Whoa, whoa, whoa,’ I say, getting a bit afraid of her. ‘What… are you kidding me?’
‘No, why shall I do that?’ she asks, putting her hands on her hips.
‘We cannot just ballet into Singh’s office and rat Lina out. Moreover, he said there were TWO people. Who’s the other one?’ I start sweating heavily. I seem to have no control over my mouth in emergency situations.
Preeti seems to think for some time, during which I cannot help but wonder how many mean things she had just said. She gives up and says, ‘Who cares? Once she’s caught, she’ll rat her accomplice out. It’s perfect.’
I look at her sadly and she says, putting a hand on my shoulder, ‘Remember how mean she had been to us, Dee? She had disrespected us in front of everyone, every chance she got. This is our chance to disrespect her.’
I shake my head, feeling sorry for Preeti, who is so keen on revenge that she would even forget what humanity means, and say, ‘Preeti, this will not be just disrespecting her. It would be, like, destroying her whole life. Which, I’m sorry to say, I cannot do.’
‘Even if she’s been a b**** to you all this time?’
‘Yea.’
She looks at me for some time and says, ‘You’re crazy. I’m telling on her. She’s so mean, she deserves to be punished!’ saying this, she runs out of the room. I run after her yelling, ‘Come back here, Preeti! We have just GOT TO talk about this. Come back here! Wait!’ She runs down the hallway and into our classroom and I follow her heels.
Principal Singh is in our class. I already get scared. Seeing us running into the class like barbarians, the principal sighs and says, ‘Everyone take you—’
‘Principal Singh,’ Preeti exclaims, ‘I know, who did it. I know who was here that night.’ She gasps from running all the way down the hall.
‘Really, then, who is it?’ asks the principal, looking clearly interested.
Preeti starts saying, ‘It’s—’
Oh, no. I am going to regret this moment for the rest of my life.
‘Me! It is me! I burned all the exam papers!’ my voice echoes through the halls, now empty.
So, I do it. I take all the blame.
The second worst thing is, Preeti does not protest when I say that it is all my fault. At first, she looks a bit shocked, but then a smirk spreads across her face as the principal asks me to follow him to the office, that he would give my parents a call, bla, bla.
The worst thing is the look on Rajesh’s face. He looks stunned at first, but then his features soften, as if he is feeling sorry for me (which he probably is). But his look tells me something else: it seems as if he knows that the truth is something else. I mean, the REAL truth. Which he can’t because he was not there that day.
I do not even care to look at Lina. Bet she is popping bottles of champagne on her win.
Like I even care about getting expelled. Suddenly, it starts feeling like this was meant to be. I mean, everybody in this school already hates me. It’s not like anybody would miss me or anything.
The surprising thing is, I do not feel like crying. I knww what the REAL truth is and I am proud of what I had done.
Principal Singh asks me to take a seat and, taking a seat himself, he sighs and says, ‘I didn’t expect this from you, Devangi.’
I hang my head low and say, ‘I know. I’m sorry.’
He folds his arms across his chest and says, ‘Can you please tell me what ACTUALLY happened that night?’
I look at him. For a minute, it feels like I should just blabber out the truth. Then I sigh and say, ‘I will tell you the truth. The real truth. But I’ll tell you as much as I think you guys will need to form the expulsion letter.’
His eyes soften and he says, ‘Please continue.’ He turns on the recorder.
I take a deep breath in and say, ‘Here goes: On the afternoon of 24th of August this year, before I left the school premises, I heard a person talking on the phone. He or she is telling the person on the other end of the line how he or she will break into school and leak out the papers. I got shocked and a bit scared. I didn’t know what to do. So I did what any idiot like me would’ve done. I decided to come to school at night, too. That day, after having my dinner, I snuck out of my house. When I reached the school, I saw that the lock on the door is already broken. I went up to the storage room on the third floor, using the stairs. When I reached the storage room, I saw that the person is already scanning out the papers using the scanning machine kept there. I tried to ask him or her not to do it – leak out the papers, I mean, but he or she did not listen to me. So, when that person had left, without listening to me, I did the only thing I could back then: I set fire to all the papers using the tube light. But I also extinguished the fire, using the extinguisher near the storage room, on the third floor. I guess you guys saw the broken glass. Then, I left the school, making sure to try and lock the gate safely. And, oh yea, the night guard was sleeping all this time.’
When I end my “story”, the bell on the principal’s desk rings and in comes my parents. They look shocked, since they have never been called into the Principal’s room for my disciplinary actions.
They exchange greetings. My parents sit on the chairs. Principal Singh looks at me and says, ‘To tell you the truth, you have done a great job, dear. But you always mentioned the real conspirator as “he or she”. Is it that you don’t know him or her? You don’t have to know his or her name to recognize that person. We can show you the picture of each and every student in this school. Or—or we can ask a painte—’
‘As much as I appreciate that,’ I interrupt, ‘I wouldn’t tell you who the real conspirator is. No matter what you do. Not even if you expel me.’
‘But—’
‘I’m sorry, Principal Singh, but I can’t.’
‘Is that person threatening you with bodily harm or—’
‘No!’ I sort of laugh. ‘Absolutely not! It’s just… it’s my own personal decision.’
‘Honey, please,’ my mom urges.
‘No, mom, not this time. Please.’ I look at mom and we keep looking at each other for some time. It is as if a secret understanding is passing between us. Then my mom looks at Principal Singh and says, ‘Please don’t force her. She, as she just said, is ready to receive her punishment.’
‘I am,’ I added.
Principal Singh sighs and says, ‘I have to discuss this with a lot of people now. Please come to school tomorrow, Devangi. Mr. & Mrs. Chand, please come visit me along with Devangi tomorrow after school. Thank you.’
They shake hands and we leave the room. Dhruv is standing near the door. When he sees me, he smiles and spread his arms in the form of a hug and I hug him. It feels good. As much as I hate the deodorant he uses, I love hugging my brother. He rubs my back and says, ‘It’s going to be alright.’
I pull away and say, ‘I hope so. Anyways, how did you come to know about… this?’
He shrugs and says, ‘Lina told me.’
Okay, so, my brother and my mortal enemy are OFFICIALLY dating. I think I can live with that.
I go home and we don’t talk about this anymore.
The next day, I go to school. The whole staring-at-the-weird-girl-to-make-her-feel-uncomfortable thing has started again, but I ignore it mostly.
I don’t know how, but I seem to have gained a certain amount of confidence, like, “Who cares what anybody thinks about me.”
We are standing at the assembly, and everybody is pointing at me and whispering rudely (does it hurt to NOT POINT at me publicly?). Suddenly, instead of hearing our Principal’s voice, we hear mine. It is my recorded voice, narrating the story about the 24th of August. Then, as the recording ends, we hear another voice.
It is Lina’s.
She says, ‘Hey people. Look, I—I’m.’ She chokes here a bit. ‘I’m so sorry to everybody. My mom, my dad, my friends and most specially the Principal, Mr. Singh. But I’m also extremely sorry to Devangi Chand. I’m sorry Devangi. The “he or she” you heard being narrated through the story is me. I was the one about to leak out the papers. I’m sorry again. I had my own reasons, though. My—my dad can’t afford to pay for my tuitions anymore so I needed to pass these examinations to keep my scholarship. I freaked out and decided to leak the papers. I’m—I’m so sorry—’ Here, she breaks down crying. The microphone is taken from her and we hear another voice, a voice I can recognize clearly.
Rajesh says, ‘So, now you guys know the truth. Devangi is just trying to keep the papers from getting leaked. Now, can you guys please stop giving her all the rude stares?’
People starts staring at me and pointing even more, as I blush profusely.
Huh, thanks Rajesh.
When the assembly is over, I excuse myself and go up to the office. On my way, I pass the Principal’s room. I see Lina sitting there, crying her eyeballs out. She notices me, and instead of making a rude gesture, she smiles at me. I’m not even kidding.
I find Rajesh at the office, packing up the microphones and stuff back into a cardboard box.
‘So…’ I start.
‘So…?’ he asks, looking at me, a bit flushed.
‘Did you make her say the truth or—’
‘She came to me.’
‘Shut up!’
‘Seriously!’ He laughs. I do, too.
‘How did you get hold of the tape?’ I ask, after I calm down a bit.
‘There’s something I haven’t told you – or anyone else – yet.’
‘Really? What is it?’ I ask, trying to read his face.
‘I—My dad… my dad is Principal Singh.’
I stare at him. He flushes and say, ‘Don’t just stare at me like that. It’s rude.’
‘I—I’m sorry, but, really?’ I stammer.
He nods and says, ‘He’s not that bad, you know?’
‘I know.’
We stay quiet for some time. Then I say, ‘Is she going to get expelled?’
‘Isn’t that what you want?’ he asks, looking at me. Oh, those eyes.
‘I—At first, I wanted her to get expelled, but now, not anymore.’
He stares at me for some time and says, ‘Girls like you are hard to find, you know?’ I blush. A LOT.
‘She made a mistake you know,’ I say.
‘Yea, I know.’
‘Isn’t there anything you can do?’
‘I can try talking to him. I mean, he might listen to me. He’s my dad, right?’ There is doubt in his voice.
‘But, the important thing is, we need to get to class right away, or you and I might just get suspended for being late to class.’
We started walking towards our class.
‘The Principal’s your dad, you know,’ I say.
‘But he doesn’t cut me any slack.’
And we both crack up.